


Scandalous

by rainysunset



Category: Day6 (Band), GOT7, IZONE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Idols, Celebrities, Dating, Developing Relationship, F/M, Scandal, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-08-14 06:31:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 65,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20187838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainysunset/pseuds/rainysunset
Summary: Are we not even have a chance to try? Are idols that pathetic for love?It's the right feeling at the wrong time.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> [Disclaimer]  
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
> 
> And also, the original female character is inspired by Chungha's manager :)

I'm in trouble.

As a jobseeker, I might considered as the dumbest one. My dreamjob is to be involve in a company's management, no matter what kind of company it is. I've set my target, being a staff for 1 or 2 years then climbing out the managerial position, as an assistant first, then keep climbing until I arrived at the top management position. So I keep submitting my resume to every job vacancies in managerial field to living that dream of mine.

But maybe I read the wrong vacancy this time. Because this is clearly not what I intended to do. What? A manager of an idol? How on earth I submitted my resume here in the first place?

"Kim Yena?"

I'm doomed, "Yes?"

"So what do you think of her?"

I take a glance at a girl's profile they just handed to me, "Can you give me a second?"

"Sure." The man who introduced himself as one of the company's director nodded his head to me, not smiling a little bit on purpose. All directors never smile in an interview, as I can conclude from all the job interviews I had done before this. And I've been doing a lot of it, none of them become fruity. There must be something wrong with me. I have no problem with my grades, it must be something in my looks or personalities. Or my lack of connection.

Okay, enough with that, I should focus on the papers in my hands.

This girl has the same name as me, it's Choi Yena, 20 years old, and I saw her on TV once or twice. I mean, she's famous already, she's appeared on a survival program produced by the biggest National TV station in this country, took a good ranking in the final evaluation, and now she's a member of a girlgroup that formed by that program, along with other 10 members. Too many members for a girlgroup, if I can give my opinion.

"She has many skills beside singing and dancing, I believe she will be fine in the entertainment industry." I try to speak something, anything, and try really hard to sound so sure and convincing about this. The truth is I don't know what I'm talking about.

"I saw her once or twice too on TV and she has an interesting and attractive personalities as she seems speak and act with honesty. She's bright and friendly, also has a good humor." I'm not lying in this part, I did saw that in her, at least that was the vibe I got when I saw her on the program.

"Any genre will suit her as she can control her expressions well, but the most important thing to make all of this work is what she wants." I put my courage to lift up my head from the papers to meet gaze with the director.

Surprisingly, he form a little smile upon hearing that from me.

"She will unleash all of her potential if she can do what she wants, like what genre she wanted, the style, the concept. So all we need to do is get to discuss with her, let her speak out her opinion then guide her to the right path, and provide everything she need in the process. In that term too, I believe she will work harder. You know, the easiest method to make someone work harder is to let them do what they love to do, what they wanted to do, not by dictate them to do this and that against their will." Okay, I just say anything that flash in my mind after I saw her picture on this papers. I don't really know what I'm talking about.

"Interesting." The director smile again, he now lean himself on the table, both of his elbows are on the table. "But what if she still doesn't know what she really want?"

It's a disaster then.

"It's our job to help her find it then." I staring at him with a surprising determination. Why am I so sure, though?

He smile again, "Okay, please wait for awhile, we will inform you later if you get this job or not. Thank you Kim Yena, you can leave for now."

And just like that, I leave. Not expecting that much from this as this is not my first choice of career anyway. I submitted my resume by mistake here, I don't expect anything. The truth is I never thought I will be considered even a little bit by them.

But then here I am.

A month later and here I am in front of them, the director who interviewed me that day sit in front of me, while a girl with the same name as me sit right beside me. It's her. The idol Choi Yena, the girl whom profile I saw on my interview day, the one that I studied in hurry because of my dumbness.

"What is this, Sajangnim? You said she's going to be my manager? My personal manager? I thought I made it clear before, I need someone who capable at managing myself, and someone strong enough to handle me and everything around me." She said with her typical husky voice.

I like the sound of her voice when she talk and rap, but the content of her speak right now is clearly unpleasant to hear.

I clear my throat, "Excuse me?"

"Also, isn't she too young to be my manager? Is she even know what she should do?"

She has strong personality, surprisingly. I thought she is an obedient type who just agreeing what people told her. But it's good though, this kind of personality will survive in the jungle of entertainment life.

I once again clear my throat, "First of all Yena, my name is Yena too."

"She even has the same name as me! Why?" She lift up her shoulders while looking at the Sajangnim in disbelieve.

"I might be inexperience in this field, no, I might be inexperience in all kind of job, but I did research and my background is management. I know one or two about managing people, and I'm confident in it. And I will work hard to manage you, and I'll be strong enough to handle you and everything around you. As much as you concern about your future career, I have the same amount of confidence to make it a success." I'm an optimistic kind of bluffing type of a person, okay.

I just need to assure her first for now, because I need this job. Unexpectedly. I'm unemployed for too long now I need money to go on with life. A year here then hopefully I can get the dreamjob I've been dreaming of.

"Tell me then, what a manager have to do?" She look at me with her strong and confident gaze.

Truthfully, her personality is good to slay this industry, she's strong, straightforward, honest, and brave enough to speak out her thoughts. I don't like idol who shy and look weak on TV. Personally, I think as an entertainer, idol must have confident in makes people happy, thus if they doing it from heart with honesty, happiness will radiates from themselves and affecting other people without them have to pretend.

"Everything, from the moment you open your eyes until you close your eyes again, I'll make sure everything will go as we planned. I'll manage your schedule, your diet, even your mood if you let me. I'll remind you for practicing your dance and singing, I'll make sure you'll get enough rest and food, I'll maintain your condition to be in always-ready-mode everytime you go to your schedule. And yes, I'll find something you can do, aside of your main job as a member of IZONE, I'll find something else you can do so you won't lack behind. The truth is, I want you to step ahead of the other members, and I have plenty of ideas in mind for that, I know a couple of PDs and I'll make a visit later to promote you. You have nice attractive personality, it such a waste to just let it seen around your members, you should show that to a bigger scale." We're staring and silence creep in as she absorbing all my words to her brain.

"So my main focus in the first 6 months of my job is to make her known." I shift my attention to the Sajangnim. "Not in pucblic, but in the industry. If I could get her a variety show with a good casts in it, she would be known among the celebrities, PD's, even writers, she can build many connections that can help her grow as a rookie. She should make friends with as many type of people as possible. Let the industry accepts her first. IZONE's promotion team already did a good job to promote her to fans and general public, so my main focus is to make her known in this industry."

Sajangnim looks satisfied so then he looking at Yena, questioning my long narration to her, demand any respon.

She pouts her lips, one of the thing she always do when she's thinking or upset or unsatisfied or practically when she has something that bothered her, "Well... it's convincing so far..."

Of course, I did research!

"We settled then?"

She nodded to Sajangnim, makes me form a smile.

"Okay, I hope you two become a wonderful teamwork and get along well. Remember that you are team now, whoever feeling hurt, the other hurts too, including me. Please always keep that in mind." We both nodded, understand. "Now, for a brief explanation about her condition." Sajangnim starts the real purpose of this first meeting, focus on me.

I moving a pen on my hand, a habit of mine when I have to focus on something.

"As you may know, IZONE won't last forever, the fact it will disband soon, more accurately, in the next 6 months. So hearing your main focus for the next 6 months is bring joy to me because that's just what we, me and Yena, really need. To be known in the industry, to make her appealing for those PD's and writers, so that she can appear on TV often. I feel relieve somehow that you already thought about that. Now for her singing career in the future, we decided to debut her as a soloist later."

That will be hard.

"Of course it will be hard," Sajangnim said as he saw my expression. He can read it easily. "That's why I really looking forward to what you prepared for her in the next 6 months. If it go as we planned, if she can enter that first door without major problem, we will really debut her as a soloist."

Suddenly I'm questioning myself. Can I do that? Can I really manage her and make her accepted in the industry?

I look at her who just pouting her lips.

"Now, the thing I want to ask you, Yena." Sajangnim now looking at her. "You agreed about our plan to debut you as a soloist after IZONE, now what do you want the concept be? What do you want to show later as a soloist?"

She silence, thinking. No, she looks more blank, she is blank. Then her expression change to worry, anxiety, afraid. She's unsure.

"Well, I'll do everything you decided for me. I'll work hard in any concept you decided. I'll practice many times for it and master it until I can pull it out of myself."

Wrong answer, Choi Yena.

I keep my gaze at her, looking at her longer. What is it? Why she suddenly looks like a girl who don't know what to do with her life?

"That's it?" She only nodded her head to answer Sajangnim. "You can leave then for now, back to practicing. What time you should gather with the others?"

"1PM."

"Okay, keep practicing then. This Yena will come to you after this."

She leave after bowed to him.

"See that?"

"About her not knowing what concept she should do?"

"And it's not just about the concept, but her musicality too. She wasn't like that in the past, she used to be a girl who has something in her mind regardless her dream, but since she become a part of IZONE, she somehow don't know what to do."

"What kind of style she likes back then? Before joining that survival program?"

"As far as I know, she really look up to girl crush concept, she also kind of interested in sexy concept, she likes Bora so much. But recently..." He thinking for awhile, "I think you were right, since she join that survival program, she slowly changed. Now if I think about it, it might be because of that. I thought she just good at adapting herself in new environment, but now after you mentioned that, I think that program affected her so much."

"The main purpose of the program is to pleased general public to get picked, I believe she's a smart person so she eventually know what people want to see, what things that get people interest, so she changed herself to be what they wanted to see, to be picked and debut with the others."

"She lost herself." Sajangnim conclude.

"It might not going to that extend, Sajangnim. She might be just afraid to voicing out her thoughts, afraid that what she wanted to do will not accepted by the fans, or public in general. She might be afraid to lose what she already obtained right now. Besides, her brother's group doesn't go that well, isn't it?"

"You knew."

"Of course, I did research. I'm not just let myself jump into this job without knowing a thing first." I smile.

"That's also a relief. So what do you suggest regarding this?"

"Can I talk to her first? So that I'm sure what exactly happened to her?"

"Of course. In fact, I hope you can be more like friends to her." He smiles a really warm smile and with that I know for sure that he's a heartwarming person.

"And another thing you should aware of, Yena... we're not a big agency, we can afford all the operational costs no matter how much, as long as it make sense of course, but for now I only can afford 1 manager for her, so your job might be a little harder, you will handle everything, but I hope you can do your best because I really want to see her success and achieving her dreams."

Okay now I'm starting to feel all the burdens. I mean, it's my first job after graduated and it's kind of different from what I learned, this is so practical. And if you think managing a company can be unpredictable, I have a feeling that this job I just jump myself into is way more unpredictable. It already drain my energy out just thinking about it.

But let's just do it first. I'll know if it hard or not later and surely will find something to handle it.

"Let's eat something first?" I asked her, looking at her from the rearview mirror.

She nearly asleep but when she heard my question her eyes are wide open, "I can eat first?"

"Sure. A real meal once a day. A potatoes or boiled eggs for breakfast, and if you feel hungry again, just eat fruit. I recommend grapes. And almond for snack."

"Wait, so if I have no time to eat a real meal at lunch, can I delay it 'til dinner?"

"Sure."

"Wow, you're cooler than IZONE's manager, though?"

"You're not that fat, doing an extreme diet is unnecessary. Besides, I'll find a time for you to workout too, it's better than holding yourself from eating. You must eat when you should eat, means if you're hungry then eat."

"Woah, that's really cool, unnie!" She moving herself until she can touch my seat and moving her head beside me, "Can I call you unnie?"

"Of course, I'm older than you."

"But honestly, you're not looking that much older. I thought you're just one year older than me."

I'm smiling, feeling the awkwardness between us is gone little by little. My guess is right, she has a nice personality, and clearly friendly. She's an ice breaker, period.

"So what do you want to eat?"

"There's a good restaurant I keep wanting to visit for days, you just need to keep going straight, unnie. The place is on the right."

Then we talk for more, getting to know each other, asking some basic question like where do I live, what I do for living before this, she asked about a college life and ended up telling me that she want to experience it somehow.

"You can do it though, college." I said after we sit waiting our food being served.

"Do I even have time?"

"I can manage it for you. There's actually many idols who go to college too while still being an active idol. If they can do it, then you can too."

"Should I do it after our group disband?"

"Actually, the timing is perfect. What do you want to learn about?"

"Acting, and making music."

Wow, unexpected.

"Good choice, should I start gather informations about it? Or do you have spesific campus you want to attend? Like your dream university?"

"Right now, I haven't." She shaking her head.

Our food come, and we let the Ahjumma arrange everything including the grill pan. I put one meat when the Ahjumma told us the grill pan is ready, and the sizzling sound of the meat being grilled is heard around us. The Ahjumma leave us after I making sure we're good.

I put more meat until the pan is full, filling up the remaining space with onions and some chillies too, while Yena's eyes are fixating on the meat in front of her, looking at it like she never see it in a very long time.

"Since when you craving for this?"

"Since the start of our latest comeback's promotion."

So it has been two weeks. They have two more weeks for promotion then every members will have more time for themselves. That's the time I aimed for Yena to do some variety shows until their next comeback.

"But unnie... about my attitude earlier... I'm sorry. I was looking down at you..."

I smile, "That's normal, if I were you I might doing the same." And I'm not lying about this. "You must have so many worries as a rookie, find a capable manager surely is one of those worry. A manager is someone you'll be depend on as an idol, it's normal if you feel uneasy about it."

She's smiling, "Right? I'm not overreacting, right?"

"I like that, to be honest. It's better than just accepting everything throws at you without you really understand it. It's good to asking and get informations as much as you need. It will sharpen your intuition." I talk while focusing grilling the meat. "How do you like the meat to be cooked?"

"Well done!"

"Wait a little bit more, then."

"Yes~" now she sound so bright and live.

"But, don't you have spesific music that you like?"

"I like listening to a band, honestly. I mean instrumental band. Recently I like DAY6's sunbaenim songs so much. I like The Rose and Jannabi too."

"What about the genre you like to perform?"

"I like something that not too cutey."

I lift up my face and she smiles.

"I know where is this talk going to go. It's because my answer earlier, right?"

"Why you answer like that, though? You can say that you don't like something too cutey."

"But isn't the producer know better about the market trend, unnie?"

"What's the point if you don't enjoy doing it?"

"I practice hard to enjoy it."

"But it shows, somehow."

"It won't."

"I can prove it to you easily after today's performance." It's live performance today, and I'll record everything. "Now, let's eat first."

She might nailed it on stage while performing it, but after that, the moment the cameras stop rolling, she will see the difference and I will prove it to her later just how big the difference is.

-


	2. Chapter 2

"I like this." I put my hand on the proposal with grey cover.

"Of course you like that one. It has the best casts among the others, there's famous veteran comedians and entertainers, an ex-member of idol group, a rising comedian, and two current idols from the hottest groups. That's perfect."

"So can you please make her join this?"

Boreum unnie looking at me with full of questions, but she hold herself in the end. She's my best friend indeed. And thank god she's a lead PD now, and still want to spend her time here being the perfect unnie she is when I really need it.

"Honestly, her name was mentioned once. Someone recommended her, but we kind of hesitate because she's a rookie and her group is formed by our competitor in broadcasting business, also they must be so busy, we're afraid she can't keep up with the schedule, so we never follow up to her side."

"I'll make sure she can keep up with the shooting schedule, well of course except when she's in Japan, but I have their fix Japan schedule if you want to study it first."

"Email me then."

"I will, but please, give me a call asap."

"I understand, you crazy rookie manager. How can you become an idol manager though? Do you give up working in a company?"

"I need money, unnie."

"But..." She want to argue it but then realized she can't argue with me if it's about money, so she just sighing then.

Because she knew. If I already use money as a reason of something, it means my financial is really in a bad condition. So further arguing is not helping at all.

"I can't believe there's no company who accept someone so perfect like you."

"Maybe that's the reason, unnie."

"That you're a perfectionist?"

"Yeah, maybe. I don't know too."

"Being reckless is unfavorable, now being perfectionist is unfavorable too." She's shaking her head helplessly, "So how's so far? Do you like being an idol manager?"

"I feel like I can die anytime, really."

She laughing at me, "Tell me about it."

"Well, the most time I felt like I'm going to die is when I running so fast to grab things she left in the car, like make up or accessories. Another time is when I should bring a backpack full of stuff she needed while holding her outfits in both of my hands, running towards the waiting room of an event. Another time is when I make sure no one block her way to the van after doing some local events. Or other time when I should dealed with crashing schedules between the members, I'll make sure it won't happen to your show unless it's for Japan activities, promise. The recent one I feel like I'm going to die is when we trapped in traffic jam while many people waiting us to discuss something important, thank god the ending wasn't that bad."

She just smiling at it, "It looks bearable though. At least you're not complaining about her bad and grumpy personality."

"She has nice personality, I assure you that. She's rather critical, and smart."

"Oh? I have a feeling that she kind of similar with you?" She put an elbow on the table, hold her chin while smiling at me.

"But she's still young and need guidance."

"Because she get used to it, she used to guided by people around her. If she live like you, I think she's kind of like a reflection of yourself."

"Too soon to say that. It's my treat by the way, the food." I said moving my hand in the air above the empty bowls and plates on the table.

"Anyway, don't look right away, but do you aware that those group of boys who sit in your right side are celebrities?"

I hold my head to not turn right, I keep my gaze on her instead, "Who? Not idol, right?"

She's thinking for awhile, "Sometimes they considered as idol, but sometimes not. It's a band. You might heard about their name, it's DAY6."

"Yena told me about them once, and since then, she always play their song in a car like, I think I memorized the lyrics of one or two songs by them without me even knowing."

"You Were Beautiful?" I nodded then she continue, "That song is queen, it often randomly appeared on the real-time chart in most random times. Anyway, they're doing some recordings all the while we're talking, but now they're chilling themselves. Maybe they finished some kind of vlive or something."

"Are they handsome?"

"Of course. Every celebrities are handsome, Kim Yena. You've met many of them though."

"I have no time to really pay attention to their features, they all looks similar in one quick glance."

She scoffed and before we finally called it a night, I excuse myself to go to the restroom. I should go back right now, get some rest for awhile before pick up Yena again to the hair salon for her morning schedule. She got morning photoshoot for their upcoming fanmeeting, it makes me just have 3 or 4 hours (if I'm lucky) to sleep tonight. And I really should sleep right now because my head is starts to feel dizzy.

Someone's waiting outside the toilet when I walk out. We exchange a little smile but then something silly happen. We keep blocking our way, like when I go right he go to the same way, and when I shift to the left he go to the left too, it's so funny and silly that I laughing at it. He is too.

"I'm sorry." I said as he touch my shoulders with both of his hand to stop me from moving.

"I can't believe this thing really exist in real life, thought it just happened in movies or books." He said before he swiftly walk passing me from my left side.

"Right?" I still smiling and laughing a little. "Sorry once again."

"It's okay, me too." He give a little smile once again before finally disappear inside the toilet.

I gather my stuffs as soon as I come back to our table. Boreum unnie is ready to go already, but now she's looking at me not blinking even once, inspecting something.

"What?"

"I just remember I forgot to tell you that one of DAY6's member was keep taking glance at you all the time they did that recording."

This time I can't hold back myself, I lift my head to their side, a little.

"He's not there right now. He went to the toilet not long after you."

Oh?

We're looking at each other, thinking the same thing in our mind that reflected obviously on our face right away.

"Do you just made me realized that I just bumped into one of them? Right now?"

"I don't know if you bumped into him or not, I'm not in the toilet, I'm here. I just informed you what I saw."

"Let's wait until someone's come back from that direction, I need to make myself sure if he the one you talking about or not." I sit back and wait.

When he finally walk out from the toilet and walking closer to DAY6's tables, we exchange a glance again, me and him, and somehow I form an awkward smile, while he give me the same polite smile he gave me earlier when the silly things happened between us.

"I'm screwed." I whisper alone but Boreum unnie heard it then gave me a curious look right away.

I stand up then walk to the cashier without telling her anything, pay our food fast to be outside as soon as possible.

"Something silly happened and I didn't recognized him a little bit!" I nearly shout.

"What? Why why why? What happened?"

I tell her the story then.

"I didn't recognized him as DAY6 member." I said full of regret.

"What are you going to do if you recognized him, though?"

"I'll be more polite, of course. I'll apologize many times more."

"Huh, you kidding me." She's laughing, "You never give special attention to celebrities, what did you said just now?"

"It's different now, I'm an idol's manager right now. Who knows, maybe they'll meet Yena or working something together in the future, of course I should be nice to all the celebrities right now. Besides, Yena likes DAY6 so much."

We get in to my car, well Yena's van, I'll drop her in front of broadcast station where she works first before I going back home. She has something to discuss again and I just don't understand how can she live like that everyday. Oh well, my life will be no different from her apparently I shouldn't be mocking her.

"I think he did it on purpose."

"Did what on purpose?"

"Went to toilet after you."

I frowning my head.

"I swear, he kept taking glance at you every once in a while."

"Are you sure it wasn't you who he looking at?"

"One hundred percent sure. I think he kind of interested in you."

"Do you need coffee?" I scoffed and just laughing at it, let it just pass because she sounds like a drunk person's talking.

-

  
**-Choi Yena's PoV-**

What's with this unnie, though?

First she shocked me about her plan about me, then she made me realized how I really feel after performed a cute song just by showing me my own expressions in a video she took, which is obviously unsatisfied compared to my expression after performed another song in different genre. And now, she just said she got me a variety show with a really good and promising casts in it.

And what? Not just as a guest, but as a fix member? A fix member of weekly variety show with a really good casts? How can she do that when she's still considered new in this industry?

"Unnie, really? Are you sure? A regular member? Me?"

"Of course, it's written like that, here." She point out her finger on one side of paper, show me the statement I kept asking.

It really is true.

And Sajangnim just smiling liking it so much in front of me, it's something that I never thought will see at least for the next 2 years of my career.

Wow, this unnie really makes me like her more day by day. Honestly I didn't expect that much from her, I just touched at her words that day when we first met. She told us a long narration about me and my future means she really think about it, really give a thought about me. And that time, I was touched just like that. I never expect something nice will going to happen this soon. But then she started doing good at her job everyday. Without I realize it, I become depend on her, this feeling of assurance when she's here near me suddenly filling me.

Like that one time when we performed for a local event and I feel unfamiliar with the place and the crowd because it filled up with more like an ahjumma instead of people my age, but she's there all the time down the stage, looking at me with an assuring smile, never leave her place so that I can keep seeing her. And strangely, I feel so relieved by that. Also when she assist my way through bunch of fans. There were bodyguards helping, but it's the existance of her that made me feel safe, like she can hug me to cover myself from them like a shield, a thing that bodyguard can't do, and it really give me an assurance. More than the bodyguards can give.

I feel more and more attached to her and it somehow feels strange. She become like a real unnie little by little.

"Want to eat before meet your brother or after you done meet him?"

"I'll meet him first." I said and she starts to drive me to my parent's house to visiting my sick brother.

My brother is getting more gloomy day by day. His group didn't do as well as people expected them to be, and it's stressing him out. He got lack of sleep and eat and I feel sad looking at him. I feel sorry for him, and visiting him like this in the middle of my tight schedules makes me feel more sorry to him. I hate how I should leave after that short visit, saying that I have another schedule to attend, while he laying down unmotivated on bed. It breaks my heart.

And this unnie who has the same name as me starts to understand it. She always try to make me feel better before and after I visited him. Like now, she prepared my favorite snacks for me to eat along the road to my parent's house. She knows that this honey almond can lift up my mood.

"But, how can you got me join that show, unnie? Like, I never expecting a regular member, but woah, you're amazing don't you know that?"

"I'll tell you a secret. It's not fully because of me, it's you. They actually mentioned your name in their internal meeting before I met the PD in charge, she's my friend by the way..."

"No wonder." I commenting the fact that the PD is her friend in the middle of her talking.

"But they were afraid to contact you because you have a very tight schedule with your group, so they gave up. Then I came and assured the PD, and then like that, I got it."

I'm smiling then take another almond and chewing it excitedly, "Your persuasive skill, -or should I call it alluring skill?- is undoubtedly amazing. I was completely allured too by your speech in the first day we met."

She's smiling, still focusing on her drive. And oh my god, she has a good driving skill too. Proved by me sitting here on the front seat instead of the back. I rarely seat in the front seat like this because I don't like the bumping I feel when the driver driving too recklessly on the road just to be arrived at the destined location on time. But with her, that's never happen. Strangely, she always made a right calculation about traffic and the time I should go so I won't be late to any of my schedules and avoided experiencing that reckless driving behaviour.

Woah, she's really a dependable unnie.

"It will work out, right? The variety show?" I asked while still munching my almond. "And after that, it will be a flower path, right? I'm not going to be like my brother, right?"

She take a glance at me. "It depends, Yena."

"On what?"

"On how much you work hard, on how much I work hard, on how much the agency work hard. It can't be done just by you work hard yourself alone, or me working hard alone, or the agency alone. Every part of us should work hard and do our very best."

I'm smiling, "I'm starting to like this kind of conversations with you, unnie. I never thought I can keep up with this kind of talk, but with you I feel like I'm mature enough to have this talk."

"You are indeed mature enough. Even before I met you, I already got that vibe from you. You might be look bright and playful on screen as you showed that side so much in that survival program, but your way of thinking and how you answer every interviews in that program shows how mature you are. You're smart too."

"Aw, that's really nice to hear, really."

"I'm not just empty talking, okay? So never feel like you're unsure about your life anymore. You are very allowed to speak up your mind, your thoughts, and all things you like to do. Don't just let people dictate you. And you clearly doesn't have to follow the trend, you can create a new one."

"Really? I can make 'eating this snack everytime you nervous' become a trend, then?" I asked her jokingly.

"Let's do that. Let's make it a trend soon, we can do it." She laughing too, taking it as a joke too.

"If it really happen later, I think I'm gonna cry."

We're laughing at it for more. I like her, period.

-


	3. Chapter 3

My smiling face never leave me as I read many good and nice comments about Yena's first appearance at her first variety show. She won the game and got kind of big amount of money. But that's not what makes me keep smiling, it's because of these comments that talk about how clever she is in deceived the other casts. Yes, she neatly deceived almost all of them and winning the game unexpectedly, brought everyone's mouth agape open. I make a note on my notebook to keep looking up this type of show for her to see whether she indeed good at tactical game like this or if that just her lucky day.

Another comment saying about her hard working attitude too. It shows, matter of factly. In every side games they did to winning the main game, she did working hard. She won almost all the games too, made herself obtained many advantages that brought her to final winning. All of it showed precisely. Not too much, just in precise amount.

And my guess was right, she's a type of person who easily get along well with people. What I surprised is, she did fine talking and conversing with the older casts. I'm a little worried about that as she once panicked when she performed for the elderly the other time, but in the show, she did just fine. She's polite, always smiling, but never miss a chance to makes people laugh.

So the first episode is a success. I scroll down the comments section again and found a comment that really get my attention:

_Yena is attractive. It's my first time seeing her, but she attracted me in a good way. She doesn't want the spotlight that bad, at least that's what I feel while watching this show, she rather keep it lowkey. She just did what she has to do, and she did it good, if not the best, and it's not too much to the point that it makes you uncomfortable, she keep it lowkey. And hard working. And funny too. Also, pretty. If she do well again in the upcoming episodes, I think I'll follow her everywhere._

"Yena, read this." I hand her the tablet and she smiling looking at it.

"Actually, I read them already, unnie. I'm so nervous that I look it up myself." She's laughing.

We're waiting for her solo shoot for IZONE's upcoming music video, unfortunately she got the last turn this time, so the place is kind of quiet right now as most of the members are left the site already. They used to go everywhere together, but since some of them got personal manager already as the disbandment day is near, it's inconvenience to go all together again everywhere. Each one of the members already has something to do beside IZONE, so yeah. The parting is coming, they silently feel it, and it's kind of heartbreaking because it makes her less playful at the shooting site. She used to joking around while waiting her turn, but now it's only her and me.

"Don't worry @realman0234, I'll be doing well in upcoming episodes, so you can keep your promise to follow me around." She makes a joke before bring the tablet back to me.

"What are you doing, though?" I asked curiously as she immersed with her phone all the time I reading the comments.

"Oh, this... I try an application JB Sunbaenim told me to learn how to make music." She said without lift up her face to me.

JB is a leader of 6-year-old boygroup called GOT7, one of the famous group from the famous big 3 entertainment agency in this country. He is a part of the show with her, as a regular member as well.

"He taught you how to use it?"

"Not yet, he just mentioned it and I got curious so I installed it. He said it's easy for a beginner, so I'm trying it now." She touch her phone some more and smiling looking at it, until she finally lift up her head and looking at me, "Want to hear it? It's just some melody from piano but I think I did fine creating it."

She pull off the earphone, play it and some nice melody come out, warming up this waiting room. It's not bad though. I don't know much about music but it's nice to listen to.

"You know I know nothing about music, right?" She nodded, "But if it's sounds nice for a person who know nothing about music, does it mean it's indeed sounds nice?"

"At least you comfortable hearing it, right? This is just a simple note I use, it might too plain for them who study and creates music, but if you're okay hearing it, I think I just did a pretty fine job. Right?"

"Of course. Ask JB later for more complicated notes."

"Sure, I'll clinging to him for this. My target is composing one song while doing that show with him." She laugh.

"That's good, learn it from the best."

"Right, and JB Sunbaenim's composed songs are good too, unnie. I just checked some of it, and I almost like it all. Even the lyrics are good. I really want to learn about making song from him." She's talking non-stop, getting excited, until the staff tell her to get ready because the previous member just finished her part.

I checked her make up one more time, then other unnie from the make up team come to give it a little finishing touch. She excuse herself after that, smile paste on her face as she has to do that concept for this time music video.

-

  
I feel like I'm going to die by the end of the day today. The most thing I hate in life is to be chased by time, that's why I always calculate the time I need to prepare Yena before going to her schedule. I used to started everything by one hour earlier just in case we stuck in traffic, because Seoul's traffic is stressing out sometimes.

But how can they just call IZONE's manager and forced the girls to be ready to perform in two hours? Two hours? It took at least 30 minutes to doing make up and hair, that's the fastest time the make up team can do. And to reach the hair salon I need around an hour from Yena's place.

I want to curse or grumble about this, but I understand that IZONE's manager can't do anything about it either. The idol who supposed to perform suddenly canceling and the PD's of the music show is in panic too, helplessly make decision on us, as our group was formed by their TV station. It makes the offer hard to refuse.

The girls arrived one by one, some of them are in panic state too. They're preparing the mic and ear sound in hurry while warming up their voices, the others who already done with the mic are stretching up their body, all of their faces showing nervousness because it's a live show. And we just know about that fact like 10 minutes ago, I think I'll really curse later after all this tension end, now I'm too busy to do that.

I keep running back and forth to our car, getting things Yena left. I panting hard when I arrived again with the addition of accessories that matching with the others, along with 6 water bottles in my right hand. I still feel the burning feeling caused by the heaviness of it while I pull out the water one by one and handed to the girls.

"IZONE!" a staff announcing in front of the door and some girls doesn't bother to hold back their screaming to release this nervousness.

They never do live performance without practice like this, they used to practice first at least once. My god, they even didn't do proper check sound. I don't know anymore, I practically isn't thinking anything when they finally walking out of the waiting room one by one, controlling their expressions, hiding the nervousness behind their steady steps.

We're waiting for some time more just right beside the stage, another idol still performing their last song. The girls will come up as soon as the previous idol step down the stage. My heart beating fast when a staff finally give a cue to the girls by counting down. They come up the stage one by one after he finish his countdown.

All members are smiling to the audience, screaming filled the studio as the audience surprised to see them, and my heart beats faster because of that. It probably no fans of IZONE there. They got into position, the stage lights got dim, the music starts playing, and their hands slowly moving.

And I keep my eyes on Yena the whole time. So far so good. But when my heart starts to beat slower and relax, Yena take a glance at me in confuse expression. She frowning her forehead while keep her body moving to the choreography. When she move to the left side of the stage, which is the closest she can get to my standing place right now, she look at me and moving her finger to her ear-in, her head shaking left and right. Her lips are moving trying to tell me something.

I got the sign and running right away to the sound control team which is on the other side of the stage. I kind of crossing over this studio hall, passing through the left side of the audience line to reach the sound control team.

"Sorry, but can you help me checking up Yena's mic and ear-in, seems like she can't hear anything." I said to one of the staff, loud, trying to beat the blaring music, still panting hard I feel like I'm going to die.

Yena's rap part coming in like 30 seconds and I start to panic. I keep my eyes to the staff who doing something with all the buttons while keep their gaze on the monitor.

"All good." Just right after one of the staff said that, I hear Yena's voice in this studio hall and sigh in relieved.

"Thank you so much. Can you please make sure the mic and ear-in for the other members is on, too?" They're smiling and nodding their head before I left them, running again to my previous place, see another group already waiting there to perform after the girls.

My heart still beating fast when I stand beside the stage, back to staring at Yena, who now smiling without worries, dancing with more confident. I sighing deep once again still trying to steady my breath. I feel like I'm going to die, really.

Someone touch my upper arm makes me turn my head, I see a water bottle handed to me by a guy, it's from one of DAY6's member. Oh my god, it's him. The same guy who involved in silly thing with me at the restaurant a couple of weeks ago.

"Huh?"

"Drink this, you looks like you will faint soon."

"Ah, really?" I'm smiling and take the bottle, "Thanks." I try to open the bottle cap but I don't know what happened with my hands or myself in general, because I can't open it. I try many times but it's like I don't even have enough energy to open it.

"Let me do it." He steal the bottle from me and open it easily, without that much effort. "Here."

I take it again and gulping down very eagerly, somehow I realized that I'm so thirsty. "Thanks, again."

"No problem." He smile, the other members behind him kind of staring at each other, clearing their throat awkwardly.

But when I glancing at them they pretending to warming up their vocal, producing random noises.

"DAY6 coming up next?"

"Yeah, after the commercial break or some interviews apparently. Because we need time to prepare the instruments."

"Fighting, then."

He smile again and just nodding his head.

The music stop and not long after, Yena's voice is heard around me, she's the first one who come down the stage.

"Unnie!" I turn my head, "It was so nerve-wrecking, I suddenly couldn't hear anything, I panicked, I didn't know what to do other than looking at you, so..." She talking fast and come to me like a baby who just went through something terrifying for the first time, seems like she's too shocked to realize that her favorite band members are standing here just meters away from her.

She hug me right away when she arrived in front of me, the other girls greet DAY6's members then talking about how amazing I handle Yena's mic problem, they are moving here and there while talking non-stop, and in the middle of that, somehow I see Jae smiling looking at me before walking up the stage. I can't help but remember Boreum unnie's words that night, but the thought just swept away as soon as it appeared, my ears got filled with the girls voices once again.

"It's okay, we passed thorugh it excellently. The performance was lit as usual, girls. Even without practice." I give an assurance words to them, "You've worked hard." I tap everyone's back within my reach with Yena still clinging onto me.

And now, another nerve-wrecking moment is going to happen again. It's the variety show shooting day, and it's going to start at least in the next 2 hours.

"We can't relieved yet, Yena." I tap her shoulders twice.

"Right." She pull out herself from my embrace then start to nervous again.

"We should go now." We walk to our waiting room togeher with all the members.

I take our stuffs and put it into a bag as soon as I walk inside the waiting room. Some members help me, the others wishing a good luck and a fighting for Yena, while she is hurridly getting herself out of the stage outfit. No time for re-doing her make up. We running out of time, so after we both sure nothing left here, we excuse ourself to the other members and once again running to the parking lot.

"This is crazy." She sigh while panting hard on the passanger seat beside me, her head touching the seat, eyes close.

"All is well." I start to drive, "Everything's gonna be okay."

"But still crazy. This adrenaline rush I feel in me right now."

I'm smiling then, the first smile I show today probably. "You're liking it."

"It's not feel that bad as long as the result is good. If we're not late for this shooting, unnie, I think I'll liking it more."

-  



	4. Chapter 4

Two months before IZONE official disband and Yena keep doing good at the variety show. Honestly, she's improving in every episodes, and she got closer with all the members. Everyone praising her cleverness and how great her acting is, and I'm the one who feel the most happy about it. It's confirmed that Yena always know her strengths are. When she said she want to learn acting, even planning to get a degree for it, it proves how she understand her capability. She knows she has potential in it and she feels she can do it, so she want to master it, to be excellently good at it. And she is determined. Now, it proved by her performance in that variety show.

And about her goal to create a song while doing this variety show, she doesn't joking either. She really become closer to JB day by day. They keep talking about music and instruments and song composing when they take rest from the shooting. Sometimes the other members join them to give her advices or just giving ideas, but it only both of them most of the time. They got more comfortable to each other day by day, and that vibe is following them through the shooting.

I saw someone comment the other day about JB become brighter and smiling more in the show, that someone must be a GOT7's fans. Another time I saw someone comment that said she ship JB and Yena, that their chemistry is good, and will be a cute couple.

I don't feel anything that time, it's just one or two netizens that comment about that, so I don't really take it seriously. But then their closerness slowly seen more on TV, cameras caught that many times, and the editors didn't bother to cut that scenes. Now more people commented about it, that kind of comments become bigger day by day. And I just found a twitter account that spesifically tweet everything about JB and Yena reactions, keep wishing vocally for them to dating each other.

I lift up my head from a tablet in my hands to look at them, JB and Yena with the other casts of the show. They're pause the recording after done one game, giving time to staffs preparing properties for another game. Some of the members are either fixing their make up, drinking water, or chatting with each other. JB and Yena too, chatting with one and another, she looks whining about something JB said to her. She pouting her lips annoyingly while JB keep teasing her about something, then suddenly he touch her bang to fix it.

That's the sign. For me. It's like a sirene just turn on in my head, voicing out danger. Is that really a danger though?

I don't know so I talk it out to Sajangnim.

"That can't happen. It's prohibited. She only allow to date after 3 years, contract-wise."

I got silent then.

"Unless for publicity, like to win Couple of the Year at Entertainment Awards for example, that is allowed. But for real, it's still prohibited." He continued. "Did you aim that? Couple of the Year?"

"Should we make it happen?"

"I'm not sure though, because it's hard and complicated to manipulate that kind of thing. Two people must have a really good chemistry without faking anything to be noticed by netizen and the judges of the awards just to be nominated in that category. And it might be dangerous for both of them."

"But that's the point, isn't it? Without faking anything. They are both, right now, are doing it as real as they can be, because no one forcing it to them. And that creates public opinion about them, we never planning that, it just happened like that."

"Then don't do anything."

Right. I staring at him, feeling it, understand. "Let the general public decides." I said and he nodded his head.

"Meanwhile, you need to keep them at the safe line, make sure they don't cross the line."

But how though?

  
-

"I just want to reminds you that Yena is still prohibited to dating someone. Unlike you, her career is just started, her group will disbanding soon and the thing she need to avoid the most is dating scandal." I said without looking at JB, look up to the sky through the window instead.

"She should stop being cute, then." JB replied calmly.

And it got me more nervous.

"Ah, what did I just said?" He frown his forhead, talking to himself in confuse. "I mean, I know the dating rules very well, I've been there before, so you don't have to worry. I'm not trying to ruin someone's career like that. We just talking about making music, though. I just helping her with that song she's working on."

I nodded my head, "I know. I just want to make sure, you know? In case you confuse..." I staring at him looking for something, some indication of his real feeling to Yena.

"But I think you need to make sure to her too. Don't you think she's the one who clinging on to me too much?"

"She did that because of the song."

"And being cute at the same time. It's not fully my fault."

I agape my mouth, can't believe of what I just heard. "And you like that? Of her being cute?"

"It's not really like that, but... I mean..." He stuttered, touching his temple trying to find a fitting words to explain his feeling, "Every thing I did to her is just my spontan reactions of her actions." He tingling his head, not sure too about what he just said, "Wait, that sounds weirder." He said that to himself.

But I think I get it. He want to defend himself, by saying that he's not the only one to blame. Okay, it's my fault too, for only ask him to be careful. I should ask Yena too if I really want them to be nothing more than collegas and be professional.

"I think I get it. I shouldn't warn you alone, I should warn Yena, too. Because you think it's her actions that makes you do things you shouldn't do, am I right?"

"Pretty much like that."

"But I don't have intention to warn her about that, because I want her to keep doing things she wanted to do, to be looked as honest as possible in front of camera, no matter if she's with you or with another casts."

JB smirking and let out a helpless laugh, "How selfish. Are you implying that I should be the one to handle it alone?"

"Let's make this clear first, handle what exactly?"

He blinking his eyes looks confuse once again, "This feeling."

What feeling? "Feeling of liking her?"

"You said it like I'm the one who having it alone. Yena must be feel it, too. Isn't she? And maybe it's not that far yet, maybe this is just a comfortable feeling between friends? Comfortable feeling of found a new good friend? I don't know too. But I assure you, I have no intention to ruin her career."

I feel it, his honesty and sincerity. It's just anything can happen anytime, that's what I'm afraid of. And yes, I'm that selfish.

"I just gonna do what she want me to do then. It's all up to her then, I promise. Just like what you wanted, you want her to keep doing what she wanted to do, and I follow. I should just stick to that formula, right?"

He's smart. He did this thing for a long time already, he's experienced. He's a true entertainer. Maybe that's what makes his image always clear all this time. No major rumor that can bring his career down, and I hope it will keep going like that for the next couple of years.

"Thank you, then?"

He sigh, "So we have a deal right? I can go back to the others to continue the shoot, right?"

I smile, "You're a good guy."

"Of course." He shrug his shoulders. "But I still called this a threat from you." He smile jokingly. "It's good that you care about her this much, but I feel threatened, okay?"

We laugh and he leave after I apologize. At least he aware of what he should do regarding this issue before it suddenly become big and out of his control. We both warned, now the rest of the story will be on Yena's hands. And I still believe that she's smart enough to prioritize her wants.

-

  
** -Choi Yena's PoV-**

It can't be avoided. No, more like he can't do anything but doing this with me in the end. We made a deal, on National TV, about him letting me visit his studio to teach me further about composing. He lost the game and should keep the promise, so here I am. 20 minutes has passed since he started to explain what I exactly should do with melodies I created.

And I absorb all the informations diligently, with so much focus that I note everything in my notebook. He talk about tempo, key signature, notes, chords, and everything I need to know to be an input for my song I've been working on.

"So according to your explanations, this melody I recorded is only a little part of the song, what again? Chorus?"

"This can be a good chorus. You know something about good chorus is, it should easy to listen to, so that the melody can stuck in people's head right away. Chorus is the most repeated part in a song, so it shouldn't be boring either to be played many times. Because if someone feels bored after listening it once or twice, your song will never be played that long in this industry, it will be forgotten fast."

"And you said that the melody I created can be a chorus?"

"Well, it's not bad to be a chorus. The melody rather familiar, but not that boring either. You can add more variety chords in other part of the song, like in the bridge."

Then he played my song again and talk about it for more, show me some examples for the bridge part with the keyboard. Meanwhile I just agape my mouth seeing how smooth he played the keyboard.

"We can add the beat too in that melody, though. To make it more ear-catching and exciting for live performance." Then he press some buttons on the keyboard and the beat appear.

"Should I learn how to play keyboard, too?" I laugh a little and come to him in front of the keyboard.

"It actually can be done with the music application you use. But here I have a cooler program to produce instrument's sounds."

We move to his computer, he click here and there until a music bar appear on the screen. He starts to give explanation about instrument's sounds that program can produce just by clicking the mouse.

"I'll leave you two for awhile." I move my head to my manager who already standing up from her chair.

"Huh? Why? Where are you going?"

"Eat something while confirming many things about your schedule." She moving her phone in the air.

"You can do it here."

"It'll be noisy for you. Just focus on the lesson, let me know if you done here, okay?"

"But..." But she leave. Just like that, leaving me alone with him.

This is the first time though, that we're alone just with the two of us in a room, and the atmosphere suddenly become awkward. Or maybe it's just me. I try to focus on his explanations but it's easy to break away from it and ended up with me imagining weird things with him. Oh my god I shoudn't think about it at all, why it feels so awkward though?

JB look at me because I didn't respon his words again, "Universe to Yena." He snapped his fingers in front of my face, makes me blink and look at him. "Why? You want to give up already? Is it too much for the first lesson?"

"Uhm, no... I just..." But I don't know what to say and just looking around the room instead, emphasizing the fact the we are alone right now, in his studio.

Although it might not mean anything to him.

He turn his chair then, to facing me completely. "Are you nervous? To the fact that we're alone right now?"

"We never really alone like this."

"So you're nervous?" He smile.

That beautiful attractive smile of him. It makes me take a deep breath to control myself. Since when though? Since when his smile can give this kind of effect on me? Like something is flinch in my stomach and fasten my heartbeat.

"Why you made this a bet in the first place?"

"It's because you were looking down on me that day." I pouting my lips.

"But you could come up with other thing to bet."

"I couldn't think of anything else other than this because this is the only reason why I clinging to you like a gum."

He laugh, "So why you nervous right now? If you just using me to completing your song why you stuttering suddenly?"

I tilting my head, thinking. "I'm not... stutt... tering..." very nice effort, Choi Yena. I talk sarcasly to myself.

"And you pouting your lips again, can you stop doing that?"

"Ah, why? I did it without I realized it either, how can I control it?"

"You're still doing it."

"Ah, stop pointing that. Let's continue the lesson. Remember, the lesson."

"You're not even listened to what I just said!"

"I pay attention right now."

"You're not nervous anymore?"

"Do you want to keep discussing it? Really?"

"Because you never really answer that question."

"Is that important to you?"

He become silent then, thinking. "I don't know, I just want to prove something."

"What is it?"

But he avoid my gaze and turn his body to face his computer again, "So in my opinion, this beat blends well with the melody you created."

"What is that??! Change topic just like that?!" I nearly shout in annoyance, but he play some beat then add it to my recording, filling the studio with such groovy music. "Oh, it sounds nice. So groovy."

Then suddenly he starts humming, randomly. And it sounds so pleasing. His voice is soothing and relaxing, different from the genre that I like all this time, but my head moves following the beat without me knowing.

He look at me after the music stop, "How?"

"I like it. I like your voice so much, how can you do that? That half-air-half-sound technique..." We both laughing, but I continue, "I mean... your voice is soulful." I try to sing like him, but failed miserably.

"Try singing with your real voice then, I'll find something that fits your type of voice."

I sing one of IZONE's song but then he shaking his head left and right.

"Any song other than IZONE's, I need to hear your real voice before it covered with IZONE's color."

I freeze. That was such a romantic phrase I ever heard from a guy. Why it sounds sweet, though? I staring at him, who now looking at me waiting me singing, he sit very comfortable in his chair, back touching the chair, hands folded on his chest. His eyes on me.

"What... song should I sing?" I feel my throat become soar.

"Anything. A song that flash in your mind right now? Or your favorite song to sing in karaoke room? Or a song you like to listen to before you sleep?"

I take a really deep breath and sing Daniel Caesar's Best Part. My heart is beating fast but surprisingly I sing it in so much relax way. JB suddenly following, singing the part after me. We're staring at each other, and I try to harmonize the chorus part. And oh my god it feels so good and satisfying and surprisingly comforting.

We silent just looking at each other after finish singing it, but not long after, he pull my chair closer to him and he closing up himself to me. We still staring at each other when I feel his face moving closer to me. Closer. A little bit more closer.

I close my eyes. Counting.

But nothing happen. Nothing on my lips as I hoping it to happen. Just his presence filling up the air around me, nothing more. I open my eyes then, seeing him watching me with unreadable expression. He blink one at a time, but nothing more. No sign I can catch about what he's thinking right now. But his face still so close to me, it's confusing.

He lift up his face and kiss my forehead instead. The fact that my heart still beating fast is kind of bothering me. It's not the first time a guy doing this to me, but it feels all new again. Why though?

"I'm sorry." He said.

I watching him, who still staring at me confidently. I'm wondering where is that confident come from though? Is he realized what just he did?

I gulp down, "Is that something you want to prove?"

He just smile.

"What? Can you say something? Don't smile to me like that."

"Why your manager left us alone, Yena?"

"I don't know, that didn't make sense too."

"Right, that's confusing. She warned me to be careful, but then she left us like this. What's she expect from this?"

"She warned you to be careful? About what?"

"About you. Because you're not allowed to dating yet. Because she worried if we ended up liking each other that way. And it confirmed already. Just then." Again, he look at me with that confident gaze.

And I feel my cheeks blushing.

"So what do you want? What do you want to do right now? Back to the song? I'll do what you want me to do, Yena. What do you want?"

But I just stare at him in confuse.

-


	5. Chapter 5

"But you have to make sure first that her outfit doesn't unmatch with the other mem..." I pause my talking because someone just sit in front of me, at my table. And that person is Jae. Yes, DAY6's member Jae. What in the world?

I stare at him, confuse and questioning his presence there, because he just sit there without saying anything. From where and how is he come though? Did he just popped out somewhere around here or what?

"Okay, right. We'll come tomorrow for fitting, thank you so much once again."

The ahjumma comes with his food and starts to arrange the table again, to be fitting for two.

"Okay, I understand, bye." I hang up the phone at the same time Jae say 'thank you' to the ahjumma.

"Stop calling, your food is cooling down."

I turn my head to the left and right, scanning the room to find other members of DAY6, but there is no one. It's late and the restaurant itself is empty from the customers. There's only one more customer sitting near the entrance.

"What are you doing here?"

"Eat my dinner." He starts to eat his food after blowing it a little.

"But, here? At my table?"

"Your food really going to cool down, please eat it first, you're free to ask me questions after that."

"Do you even know me?" I take a bite as he told me to.

"You're kind of famous though, between celebrities."

I nearly choke so I drink my water before ask him again, "I think you run into a wrong person."

"Yena's manager, who has the same name and prettiness as her. That's your nickname recently. Before that, I heard something like 'the pretty manager in IZONE' because people still don't know your name that time."

I frowning my forehead. "You kidding me. I've never heard of that."

"That's because no one brave enough to say it to you, except me." He said before once again take a bite.

"And you just say it now? We met a couple times before though."

"That's because this is the perfect time to bring it up. I'm Jae, by the way." He handed his right hand to me.

"I know who you are."

"So you won't take this?" He shaking his hand that still hanging above the table.

I smile and take his handshake in the end, "Yena."

"What Yena? I mean, the idol you take care of is Choi, what are you?"

"Kim."

"Nice to meet you, Kim Yena." He squeeze my hand a little before let it go.

"Are you usually this talkative and... initiative?"

"To my members? Kind of."

"To a stranger?"

"No, of course." He smile and laugh a little. "I hardly say hi to stranger."

"But what are you doing right now? Seating at my table? And introducing yourself to me?"

"Because you're not a stranger. We bumped into each other a couple times, and you're famous. This is a rare occassion, I feel so lucky to have this unintentional meeting with you."

"Shouldn't it supposed to be me who saying that? I mean, the famous one here is you. You're a guitarist every woman wish to be with on christmas eve."

He lift up his head to look at me because of that sudden statement, "They only want my image, not really me in general. But you, on the other hand, every guy that knows you must be wishing to be with you on valentine's day."

I put down my spoon, place my elbow on the table instead, looking at him with a smile on my face, "Interesting. And why you assuming that?" What's wrong with him though? We're not close, not even know each other until minutes ago!

"Not an assumption though. I know someone from your past."

"Who?" I tilted my head, now confuse.

"One of my member lived at the same neighborhood as you in the past."

One of his member? Who?

"I think you really run into a wrong person."

"He said that you probably not remember him, but he clearly remember you because how famous you were. He also said every guys in the school and neighborhood knew you and wished to be close with you, even just for you to use."

"Tell me who is he."

"He said you're not a bad person though, it was the guys who always delusional about your attention. You were clearly the center of universe back then."

Goosebump. Maybe that's the only thing I can feel right now. Who is he talking about? That person must be so close to me to know my past that well. One of his member? One of DAY6 member? Who? We're not even in the same age, so who?

"He'll be so upset if I tell him that you're not remember him at all."

"Just tell me who it is. I'm sure enough there's no one in your group that lived in the same neighborhood as me. You're just making up those stories."

"What?" He laugh, "So that stories' are not true?"

"I mean..."

He wait but I don't know what else should I say, so then he say, "Seems like stories are true. You just surprised of the fact that there's someone in my group who know you so well like that."

"Can you just tell me who it is? My head hurts." I pout my lips.

He smile for a little longer then say, "Aegyo doesn't work for me, I see that almost everyday, I kind of sick of it. Try guess it."

I take a breath and back to eating my food, "I'm sure I don't acquintance with any of your member, what's the point of guessing it?"

"Try to remember it then, until we meet again."

"And what if I'm not?"

"A date with me."

This time I really choke up and he just say 'Aigoo' as a reaction.

"Why should I?" I drinking water again, but it still feels like something huge blocking its way down my throat.

"Because you're the first girl that attracts me after my dating rules expired. I want to experience dating here in this country so bad."

"It's not that different with any other countries. Besides, I'm not interested in dating, I'm busy this year."

"Just one date. One day. Spending time together all day long."

"That is really a dangerous offer, have you think about it? The consequences?"

"Should we be friends first?"

"Are you serious?"

"Dead serious."

"Why?"

"I told you why."

"Well, that's not enough."

"But that's the most honest thing I ever say to a girl. I really attracted to you, and that's a rare case, I rarely attracted to someone, let alone a girl, but I felt that with you, since the first time I saw you."

I stare into his eyes, "The first time you saw me?"

"That day just before we met in front of the toilet? Remember when we blocked each other's way? I went to toilet intentionally, just to get to see you face to face."

What is this? So, what Boreum unnie said about he kept taking glance at me was true?

My phone's ringing saved me from the obligation to respon his sudden confession about him being attracted to me. It's from Yena so I pick it up right away, forgetting him and his weird confession for awhile. What should I respon to that though? Is he even being serious about it?

"Unnie, you haven't sleep yet, have you?"

"Why?" I looking at the empty restaurant, now it only me and Jae here as their customers, and I realized it's really late already.

"Hear this." A melody playing, not too long and it sounds not bad either for me. "How is it?"

I look at Jae in front of me who just finishing his food, munching the last bite of it then drink his water.

"Actually, there's someone who can do better justice for that. Wait, I'll loadspeaker this, now can you play it one more time?" I put the phone in the middle of table right before the melody being heard in this restaurant.

I moving my hand to my ear while looking at him, as a sign for asking Jae to listen to that melody. He understand right away, smiling a little before listen to the melody carefully.

"How is it?" Yena asked after the music stop.

"You need to add 4 more bars if this going to be a chorus." Jae said, "That's the most popular formula for addictive chorus."

"This is not for chorus, though. It's a verse."

"Can I listen the chorus, then?"

"Wait... here." Another melody heard in this place, the one that I heard weeks ago.

"You should make the transition extra smooth for combining both of them. Doesn't mean impossible, but try to prolong the verse, or create a pre chorus for a smoother transition. If you just arrange it one after another, it will sounds a little uncomfortable for a first listen, that doesn't mean a bad thing though. It's pretty much okay, it makes the song uniqe, but if you aim for the song to be popular, you need a smooth transition before put it into one."

Silence for like 3 seconds until Yena ask, "Who are you?"

"My friend." I answered her question too fast probably that Jae lift up his head and look at me right away.

"Are you a composer or something? Why your answer is kind of similar with..." She pause for awhile, "...my friend who is a singer-songwriter?"

"I'm pretty much like that, I made a couple of songs for my personal... collections." Jae said kind of careful too.

Yena let out an understanding sigh, "I'm Yena by the way, what's your name again?"

"Jaehyung."

"Unnie's friend?"

"Pretty much like that." Jae smiling, looks like he enjoying this.

"You sounds so professional about music, can I ask your advice again later? It will be much better if we can meet in person, though."

"Sure, just tell Yena, Kim Yena here, if you have free time, maybe I can match it with my free time too."

"Can I do that, unnie?"

"You're busy this whole week, maybe next week? I'll make sure after I got home."

"So you're not home yet."

I caught.

"Of course, I'm still with him, my friend. I'm going home after this call. Don't sleep too late, you have morning schedule tomorrow. I'll meet you at 9, hope you already shower by the time I arrive at your house."

Yena answered lazily then hung up the phone.

"She's cute." Jae said right after I put down my phone back on my side.

"Right? She's the cutest. She's cute even without her knowing, like everything she do is scream cuteness that it stressed me out lately."

"Why it stressed you out?"

"Because her cuteness can attracts pepople, mostly guys, to like her. And the last thing I need to handle in the near future is her dating scandal. She should be clear from rumors or scandals, her group will disband soon."

Jae nodded his head.

"Tell me. As a guy, do you find her cuteness attractive? Do you feel like falling to her because of it?"

"I've said it to you, I'm sick of aegyo because I almost see it everyday."

"Right? So why though? Why he said that her cuteness is the one to blame for making him like her?"

"I believe there's other thing that guy found in her, maybe it's not solely her cuteness."

I tilted my head, "What do you think then? Her attractive points? Maybe I can use that for her next debut after IZONE."

"But I don't want to talk about that Yena when I have this Yena in front of me."

If I drinking something right now, I'm sure I will choke again, real hard.

"My life isn't that interesting to talk about."

"For you, but I'm dying to hear every part of it."

"Why? You just met me? Do you usually like this in any kind of first meet?"

"I'm not meeting people, especially girls, that often. But no, I don't usually like this."

It feels like he keep trying to make me believe that his words about him attracted to me is true, what is this though? Is it okay for an idol to be this open?

"You have a question, but you're not sure if you should asking that to me."

"Are you a mind reader now?"

He laugh, "I wish I'm the one, so I can read your mind easily, about how do you think of me right now."

"I can just tell you though. I think you're weird, strange, unpredictable, very random, but sweet and attractive at the same time..." Wait, what?

He smiling, "Keep going."

I bite my bottom lip automatically.

Jae pull out his phone from his pocket, touch the screen here and there and hand it to me, "Your number."

"I don't usually give my number to a stranger."

He scoff, "You need to arrange a meeting between me and the other Yena. And you're the one who addressed me as your friend, don't act like that."

I pout my lips, annoyed. But he was right, though. So I take his phone and type my number fast.

"Are you serious about meeting her?" I give the phone back.

"I'm fine with that."

"She's learning about making a song, she's doing it, what you heard before was a little thing she created and she keep making progress, so..."

"I'll call you to talk about my free time after I check my schedule. Let's go home for now, you said you should pick her up at 9 tomorrow, you should have some rest."

Just like that, he stand up and our conversation is ended just like that, with him sending me off until I reach my car.

"What about you?"

"I'll order taxi."

I staring at him while thinking of drive him home, I must be loose my sanity.

"My dorm is kind of far, you have to turn around the area if you take me home first. It's late."

"But..."

Silence.

"You're an idol. How can you just go out like this? Isn't there some kind of rule that..."

"Come on, I'm a grown-up. Do you think we still have that childish rules?" He cut my words.

He look and sound pissed. Annoyed. Upset.

"Why you mad? I just asking, though."

"I'm not a child, okay? So don't look at me like that, I hate that the most."

"Like what?"

"Like I'm some kind of precious kid who should be taking care of. You look at Yena like that, don't do it to me. You're not my manager."

"But you're still an idol, what if something happen to you?"

"Then it happen to me, like it can happen to any normal human being on this planet."

His words hit me like... silence covering us then.

"I'm a human too." He said quietly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean... but then again, you know, any normal human being doesn't attracts bad guy or sasaeng." I still point out my worries. It's not about I'm discrediting him as a normal human being, it's because the fact that he's indeed a level higher than any normal human being. I shouldn't let that fact go away like that. It's more important to be careful.

"I don't have sasaeng, as much as I'm aware of, our fans are nice people. For the bad guy, I think I'm capable to handle it myself. Hopefully."

We're staring long before he open up the door. And my heart beating a little bit faster I don't know why.

"Drive carefully."

"I'm sorry, once again."

"I know."

"Still, be careful, okay?"

"Of course."

"See you later?" I asked this just because I see he become a little gloomy because of that talk about him being an idol. I feel so bad for bringing up that topic, so I feel like I need to cheer him up a little bit. I don't know if that question work though. I probably just feel a little head over heels after judging his feelings for me base on what he said earlier.

He smile, finally. "You can't wait to see me again already? Remember you have homework for our next meeting." He indeed looks cheerful again.

He is so unpredictable and it drive my heart strange. Weird.

-

  
"Ah, really?"

"I've considered it, our team considered it actually. We did a casting once and still not feeling sure about this lead actress, so... if Yena can come here around 3 today and want to try the role..."

"She'll do it, PD-nim. 3PM today? She'll be there, then. She'll heading there right after she's done with this shooting, I'll call you back when we're on the way there. Thank you so much for this opportunity, PD-nim."

"Just come first, let me see what she capable of, if she's really fit that role."

"Of course, yes. Sure, thank you once again."

The PD on the other side of the connection humming before hung up the call.

Good. After I did countless aprroach to many PD's and writers these past weeks, finally someone interested in her and call me back. He is one of the director for a web-drama production, I heard that team is going to make a webtoon series into a web-drama. I read some chapters of the webtoon and Yena really fit that role, as the female lead character in that webtoon have a bright and cheerful personality followed by sharp and critical mind. It fits Yena perfectly, and that image is shown recently from her appearance in this weekly variety show, so maybe that's why that PD is interested to see what she has in store. If this really work well, it surely gonna rocketing her popularity in the industry.

I open the waiting room but not seeing anyone. The room is neater than before, the actress Yena share this room with must be leaving already. But where is Yena, though?

I check the toilet but she's not there too, the toilet is empty. I pass by some PD's when I walking back to the waiting room but then he look at me in confuse.

"I thought you left already? Yena said goodbye to us already."

"Huh? What are you saying? I'm still here."

"But she walked outside around... 15 minutes ago?"

"Alone?"

"With some of the casts, I thought you were waiting for her in your car. But what happened to her though? She looked a little gloomy today, she wasn't react like the usual. It's not that obvious for them who not close to her, but we're like a family right now. That little change of mood is pretty noticeable somehow."

"She just kind of sad because of the disbandment, I guess. She can't help it, she's gonna face the parting between IZONE members in less than a month, and she kind of worried too about her future career. So yeah, it kind of affecting her mood."

"That's understandable, though. I hope she can get back to her cheerful self soon enough. I think she need something to recharge herself first."

"Yeah, I'll find something to bring back her mood later. But now, did you see whom she left with? Was JB there too, perhaps?"

"He was there. They're always together, matter of factly." He smile liking it, because lately, their interactions are one of an interesting input for the show. Somehow. It just happened to be like that, I don't know how to prevent that going further. I just following Sajangnim's advice to not doing anything regarding that.

"It's because of the song Yena wanted to finish, and JB is really helping her with that." I smile, avoiding to explain furher of the fact about their closeness and cute interactions. "Okay, thank you for the informations though, I think I know where to find her from here."

We nodded our head, smiling to each other before finally go our separate ways. Me heading back to Yena's waiting room to gather our remaining stuff.

Should I get mad first or worried first? She should get back here though, for that sudden casting the web drama PD offered. But I only sighing before calling JB's manager.

Why I smell something bad?

  
-  
  
  



	6. Chapter 6

**-Choi Yena's PoV-**

"Where are we going? I left my phone at the waiting room, unnie will kill me." I asked with no energy, looking at JB who driving calmly.

I don't know why but I feel out of energy suddenly. The practice time between my members doesn't feel fun anymore, we covered in sadness and there's some kind of big stone that hanging around our throats make us want to choke and throw up, but we act like nothing happened trying to look mature to facing the parting in front of our eyes. We're not talk about it that much but the atmosphere felt suffocating, it's like we're gonna burst out into tears anytime in the middle of practice. I'm sure enough the moment one person started to cry, the rest will follow. We just can't help it, this heaviness is hard to hide. We probably going to have a sob party at our last concert, in the next two weeks. Gosh time flies really fast.

And after that, it's just me all alone. At least I have unnie to lean on.

JB smirking, "She's probably gonna kill me first."

"So why you doing this then? You've been warned."

"I can't stand seeing you unmotivated like this. It's not like you."

I close my eyes and sigh, put my head on the seat, "I don't feel like doing anything. I am sad about our group disbandment, I have no inspiration to continue my song, and I lost most of the games today. Nothing's going right these days, I never expect the disbandment will change my mood this bad."

"But you're with me right now, alone. Far from other people. Can that fact cheer you up?"

I open my eyes, "I still not decided anything regarding us, though?"

"Sure, you can freely use your time. Just call this as a friend cheering you up when you're sad."

"So what's your plan? Where are you going to kidnap me?"

"Somewhere fun and empty." He turn left, "But first, ice cream to brighten up your mood a little bit."

We enter a drive through ice cream stall, waiting for like 2 or 3 cars before it's our turn to order. He order a vanilla almond for me without asking first, and I'm wondering how they knew I'm a fan of almond. But I assuming he must read facts about me on the internet somehow, so I don't bother to ask him about that.

And yes, just as usual, almond really lift up my mood, because after just 2 bites, I already moving my body in excitement.

"Almond never disappointed."

"Plus, it's ice cream. Ice cream alone is never disappointed." JB said, feeling happy too munching his chocolate mint ice cream beside me.

We kind of parking our car in a quiet street, enjoying our ice cream. He take some of my ice cream, and I do the same.

"You like mint?"

"Not as hard core as you like almond, I like it in some of the time."

"You know I like almond?"

"Your manager only brought almond snack around, nothing other than almond, so I assume you like it so much."

"Besides, it's good for diet."

"Don't diet, you're in a good shape already."

"But if I don't diet I will in a bad shape in a week."

"Ah, so that's the real reason every girls dieting?"

"Aren't you dieting, too?"

"I did that when I want to working up some abs, but I give up on that a long time ago." He laugh.

"What? So no abs? Not even a bit?"

"No, sorry for disappoint you." He finish his cup and put it into a trash bin under the gear.

"Jinyoung has it though." I stated a fact about his long time best friend, Park Jinyoung, who's in the same group as him. I saw it in his drama, a shower scene.

"Erase his image from your memory."

I laugh, "How? If there's a tool like some kind of eraser for that, I would gladly buy it."

"Why? You have something you want to erase so badly from your memory?" He start to moving the car again.

"Everyone has something they rather forget."

"What's yours?"

I get silence, "I still not trust you enough to tell it to you." I'm giggling.

He laugh, "Okay, sure enough." He turn on the radio then say, "I told my manager already about this. I know you don't have shedule anymore today, so just enjoy this sudden trip. It's not that far, though. We'll arrive around 20 minutes. So just chill."

I just smile at his words then munching up the rest of my ice cream.

After around 20 minutes of doing car karaoke of any songs that popped up in the radio, we arrived at some kind of arcade place. Yeah, it's an arcade game. Not the biggest arcade game in town, but it has all the fun games from an old time, so the moment I stepped into this place, the smell of childhood filled my lungs. It feels like I time travel to my high school days, such a good old times.

What makes it all new again is the presence of JB here with me. The feeling is new, the fun is new, and the moment we creates with many of this game machines is new. Not that better to make me forget my old memories of this place, it's just new and took a special place in my memory storage.

I smile and laugh all the time, and we almost play it all. From the racing games, zombie games, shooting games, tetris, pac man, all the machine games literally, to more physical game such as basketball, darts, baseball, golf, anything. We made a bet at basketball game but of course he won, he really good at it, like the speed of his shoot is incredible it's like he can shoot 2 balls at almost the same time, that's crazy. I lost miserably and in debt a wishing coupon to him.

The one I enjoy the most of course the dancing game. I could dance all day and night if he let me, it lift up my mood perfectly now I'm all smiling and my energy just like fully recharged I feel like I can beat anything the world throws at me. And the last but not least, the most popular game in an arcade game for a couple, doll claw machine. But we both suck at it. We still got nothing even after like 30 minutes playing it. It frustrates me but challenge me at the same time.

"Stop it. Just stop it, we're not gonna make it. It's late, let's just give up." He said tiredly, hopeless.

"Let me do it one more time." I smile, still eager to win anything from the machine.

We aim for a doll we wanted when we started play this, but now we just trying to get anything. I'm laughing alone at that fact. And we're still not getting it.

Another failure.

"I won't doing it anymore! There must be something wrong with this machine!" I shout annoyed.

JB laughing at me, "Come on, let's go home, Yena. It's late. Your manager must be worried right now."

"Oh, now you worried about that? You're not thinking about that the moment you kidnapped me to your car?"

"Ay, you had fun, I have no regrets."

We walking outside with his hand circling my shoulder.

"But how come this place is so empty like this?"

"Right? How come though?"

I look at him, "Your acting is slightly improved, try to show it more often on the show."

JB let out a helpless laugh, "Mocking me, are you?"

"Are you own this place or something?"

"Not me, my relative did."

We got outside and he pull off his hand of me. Unfortunately.

"So you asked your relative to emptying the place just for us to play today?"

"Touched?"

"Aw... that's so sweet."

He kind of blushing but try to hide it by open up my door. "Watch your head."

I'm smiling by myself like a teenager, unnecessarily feeling special. I shouldn't feel this, though. It's dangerous and if we keep doing this, I might be like him for real. In that dangerous term. And it will make things complicated for both of us.

"So it's a success, then? Your mood's got better, right?"

"Never this better."

"So fortunate. It's unpleasing seeing you gloomy, sad, and unmotivated like before. It felt just not like you."

"But humans allowed to feel all of those feelings. I'm allowed too."

He turn his head for a quick glance, "Sure. It's just... I dont really like seeing it. It hurt my heart. Just come to me whenever you feel like that again, I'll cheer you up just like today."

"Yena unnie can cheer me up too, she can do it as good as you."

"Really? Never show me your sadness again, then. If I see you gloomy again just a little bit, I'll scold your manager for not doing her job properly."

I smirking at his words. That was so cheesy I can't handle it.

"You shouldn't do that though." I look at the window, "We actually shouldn't do this in the first place."

"I'll keep doing it as long as you're not forbid me."

"So I'd be the one to blame if bad things happen later."

"I don't mean it like that."

"You clearly voicing that out, Im Jaebum."

"Just push me then. Ignore me, say no to everything I want to do to you."

I get silence for a full second then admit, "I hate you, your confidence and how you right about things most of the time." Because his statement really contain his confidence. He know I could never push him, because I like the time we spent together. He knows and make use of that fact very well.

He take a glance at me again but I just stare at the road in front of me. Silence comes, we both drawn in our own mind. This thing is strange, ambiguous, dangerous, but real. Just as real as it can be. I'm afraid though.

"I'm sorry." He said quietly but I don't really get what he say sorry for.

So I keep my silence. The question he asked me that day at his studio is playing inside my head. What do I want? What do I really want?

I want him near me but don't want to dating him because of the dating rules. I want him near me but I don't want that ruin my career and makes me lose fans, and him losing his fans too. So what do I want exactly? I don't want to push him either. Can't things just keep going like this? Without people trying to break us apart, without him force me to date him and keep doing sweet acts to me, without me feeling wanted to date him and walking in the street together like a real couple.

What I want, exactly?

-

  
"You get in first, I want to talk to JB." I give Yena my glaring gaze once again, "Alone." then I look at JB's manager, annoyed.

"What is... wrong, unnie? Something bad happened?"

"Just..." I take a deep sigh to avoid myself getting out of control and releasing my annoying feels to them, "...get in first. I'll talk to you after this."

Yena look at me in confuse, and guiltiness slowly covering her eyes. She sense it apparently, my anger. But she keep silent and just get inside the building. JB's manager get inside the car after let out a deep sigh, tired of hearing my complaints and disappointment at JB's behaviour that took Yena out without my permission and turned off his phone just like that all day long.

"We made a deal." I give a sharp glance to him, angry.

"I just want to cheer her up, she was so gloomy this morning, so I took her around a little bit to relieve some stress."

"Did she asked you for that?"

He pause to think, "No." He confessed, "It was all my idea, but she didn't reject it."

I take a really deep breath, anger starts to fill me again.

"Besides, she has no schedule after the shoot..."

"How do you know? How you so sure she has no schedule after that?" I touch my temple and closing my eyes, my voice start to sounds higher.

"She said so..." Now he sounds not sure so I open my eyes and look at him, "Did she missed a sudden schedule...?"

"Yes! A very important one, Im Jaebum! Because of you. Because of your reckless behaviour, why did you turn off your phone, though?! What were you thinking? You said you've been there before, you said you know her situation well, she's still a rookie. No one can ever guarantee she will still a public demand after her group disbanded, so every offer that comes to her right now is matters. A lot. And you just made her lost one potential work to maintain her popularity!"

He looks guilty now. "I'm... sorry, I never thought it will be a sudden schedule..."

"We made a deal! You promised me to only do what she wanted you to do."

"But she didn't say no either, and I swear I never thought about that sudden schedule, I thought..."

"You are from a big company. I bet there were no PDs that offered you works suddenly like that. For you, it was always arranged and managed perfectly beforehand, but her situation is different than you. We're not a big agency, we haven't obtained that respect like most PDs has to your company. They mostly treat us like a backup plan, if they failed to cast someone from big company, then it's the only time we have a chance. And when that time happen, they're already running out of time so we can't discussed much about the works in advance, they need her presence right away, to see what she capable of. It happened today. She was missing and just lost that opportunity, it's one of the thing she wanted to do, though. But she missed the opportunity just like that. Now what you gonna say about it?"

He looking down, his shoulders moving up and down as he take a deep breath, "I can't say anything other than sorry." He lift up his head, "I really am... sorry."

I take a deep breath once again trying to control my emotion, for not exploding, to keep my sanity in place.

"Don't distract her, really." I said softly in the end. I'm tired I really want a bottle of beer before I really loose my temper. "I'm fine with all your closeness as long as she's not distracted from her goals. You know it so well about all this dating rules, you have to do better than that. Don't do something stupid and risky like that ever again. You're a grown up, act like one, unless you want to see her failed in this industry miserably. But I'm sure you don't want that happen to her, right?"

"I never wanted that, I swear. I care about her."

"So please, I beg you please. Keep stay behind the line, okay? Don't ever cross it unless she's the one wanting it. And if you confuse about things that considered crossing the line, ask me. Ask for my permission before you do something related to her."

He silence.

"Do we have a deal again?"

"What if she want this instead?"

"I'll talk to her to confirming that. So we have a deal, Im Jaebum?"

He take a deep sigh before nodded his head.  
  


"You and JB keep blaming on each other. He said that you didn't reject his idea, and now you're saying that you got forced by him. What exactly both of you trying to do? Fool me? Are you dating already behind my back?" Okay, I successed controling my emotion with JB, but then this Yena just bring it back.

"Of course not! It was really his idea, he noticed my bad mood and try to comfort and cheer me up, while you did nothing and only think about what else works I should do to ease your own anxiety. You worried too if I'll fail later after IZONE disbandment, and you don't want people to blaming on you for that, so you put everything on me. You asked what I want to do for my career and future just for you to use as your shield, in case I do poorly someday later. You are no different than JB, or me."

What the hell?

"What? Why you shifting the problem like that? So now it was actually my fault? Because I try to find a work for you instead of cheering you up? Really?"

"Let's talk about this later, unnie. He succeed lifting up my mood like an hour ago, but then your anger just ruining it again. I'm tired, I want to sleep."

I take a deep breath at her ridiculous statement. My goodness I feel so upset and angry and disappoint with both of them.

-


	7. Chapter 7

I'm sighing for like a hundred times already tonight. I gulp down my second glass of beer, have been thinking for like an hour about what just happened. Boreum unnie said she'll come but then suddenly cancel it due to sudden job she should finish. Deadlines. See? That's the important of phone, you use it when something urgent happen suddenly. Why in the world JB turned off his phone all day long today? Ugh, it still makes me so angry everytime I think about it. If he didn't do that, I can come pick Yena up just right in time and go to the casting place just in time. Then she wouldn't lost this opportunity.

But wait, are Yena's words true? That I'm selfish because I only think about jobs she should do to maintain her popularity without understanding her real feelings? Is the disbandment really feel that bad to her? Is it affecting her mood and passion that bad?

And her point about me using her as a shield to avoid the blame later. How can she think of me like that? Am I really going to blame it on her later if she's not doing good in the entertainment industry? Will I?

Ugh my head hurts.

"Bad day?"

I lift up my head to see Jae already sitting on a chair in front of me. How in the world he sit there just like that right now?

And like before, I scan the restaurant to see if his members are here too, and making myself sure there's no sasaeng or papparazzi that following him to get a shoot or two of us being together like this. He is still an idol, for god's sake.

"The worst." I said and drink my beer again before continue, "Okay, I admit that I maybe too selfish for not taking her sad feelings about the group's disbandment seriously, but how can she think of me like that? She thought I only care about her works and popularity, said that I discrediting her real feelings and emotions, claimed that I was the one who nervous about her future career because I don't want people to blame me if she failed later? How can she think of me like that after all the things I did for her?"

He kind of taken aback with my sudden grumble, he never thought I'll talk this open to him. Apparently.

"Okay, keep going, I try to understand things here."

"You know? It's my job to manage her schedule, to find her something to do despite the disbandment of her group. I don't want her to be forgotten after the group disbanded, I want the industry and public keep reminds of her. And by keep on working is the only way I can think of. If she keep appearing on TV and other online platforms, and making a good relations with many PDs, people will remember her, she won't forgotten, until the time she make her solo debut. That's my goal. Is that wrong?"

"Of course not, it's your job as her manager. You're doing good. But you forget something, though."

"What?"

"That idol is a human too, not a working-robot. We might not tired physically, but emotionally? Who knows? And doing something, work in this case, against our will can be emotionally tiring and drain our energy out. Maybe Yena hate that work you want her to do? Or is she not feeling okay to doing it?"

I stare at him longer before answering, "She's not in the mood. She was sad about her group's disbandment and..." I get silence because something just hit me.

His words about idol is not a working-robot just makes me realize what Yena meant in her words to me.

I take a deep breath, "And I was stupid for not taking it seriously." My voice got softer, "Oh my god I was so bad. She's not a robot, like you said. I never thought that her feelings about the disbandment will affecting her so much. I was so stupid, I should be taking care of that first before I busy myself thinking about her future career." I covering my face with both of my hands. "Maybe she was right. Maybe it's indeed me who feel nervous and insecure about my capability in managing her. I'm afraid I will fail doing it so I keep pushing her in order to assure myself, for my own good, not her."

"Maybe she just need rest and some time alone. The group disbandment isn't something easy to deal with."

I put down my hands to be able to looking at him, to listen to him better.

"We, idol, sure has many worries regarding this path, you know? Before we make a debut, we always wondering when will we debut and perform etc etc. After we debut we have more worries like are we going to be popular among many groups that were here already, are we gonna make it to the top place, are we gonna last long in this path, are we gonna be remembered by people for a long time. Imagine you worrying that things while knowing the fact that your group actually will not going to last forever, the fact that it will disband soon. Imagaine you're in that situation, and will facing all of those worries all over again? Feeling it again from the very start. She must be in a worst state of mind right now. It must be feel like she's nothing all over again soon, she must be feeling the same worries from before, all over again."

"Oh my god, I'm the worst." I bite my bottom lip thinking about Yena's brother. Why I forgetting that fact? She must be more nervous and worry because of the fact that her brother is in depression after his group wasn't doing well in the industry. She must be afraid again if she will face the same thing later after her solo debut. Maybe that's what makes her so sad too today. The sum up of all that feelings makes her so gloomy today.

"Your strategy is good though, as you prepared many jobs for her to do to fill the hiatus time after the disbandment. But maybe, you should doing it in more relax way? Like... you should know when is the time to push her, and when is the time to let her rest and sort her feelings. Maybe today is just not the day for that heavy works. Maybe she was indeed feel so sad today, people never get to choose when to feel sad and gloomy, you know. Sometimes that feeling just strike without us preparing. Happen more often to idols, though."

"And maybe what he did to her is indeed that precious and makes her relax a little bit about all of this future career thing."

"Okay, I don't know who is he and what he did, but if there's someone that can really understand her feelings and provide something to makes her feel better, you shouldn't waste him. I mean, you should thankful to him, because maybe that's what makes Yena get motivated again."

"But he made her lost an opportunity to doing her job."

"Hey, there will be many offers later. Job comes and go, trust me, another good one will come."

"But we're not in the same agency as you. We're a small agency, there's not much PDs and writers that know us. Job will never comes as easy as you who's under the big 3. That's why I feel so disappointed that she lost this opportunity just like that. Okay, I admit now I was being selfish for not understanding her feelings. But then, wasn't she wrong too by doing reckless things that made her lost the potential job, and not even regretted it? She wasn't even say sorry to me."

"I have a feeling she will say sorry later, maybe tomorrow? Right now, she needs that rest and alone time, so don't push her. You should talk about it later and say sorry first. Don't get upset again, it's okay to say sorry first. I'm pretty sure she knows her fault too. Humans are practically like that. If you keep pushing her and tell her that she's the one who did wrong, then it's not gonna work. Humans tend to feel right most of the time, we don't like being judged wrongly eventhough we know our fault."

I blink my eyes and stare at him, long. Intense. Because everything he said just mind blowing. Why am I blown away though?

"Am I helping?"

"So the rumor was true."

"What rumor?"

"That you're a deep thinker."

He sigh, "That rumor is going around because of my tweets. People labeled me just from my tweets that's not represent even 30 percent of my true self. It was only the image I unintentionally portrait, they should know me in person to be able to label me like that."

"I'm sitting here with you for like..." I look at my watch on my left wrist, "...half an hour and I already sure you're a deep thinker. I don't really know you in person, though."

"Trust me, I'm not that good as people might think of me. My weak and uncool sides might crush your expectation." He touch his temple and grimmace a little bit, "Damn I just said the lyrics Brian just wrote for our next song. Pretend that you didn't hear it, okay?"

I scoff, "That's deep lyrics though."

"Yeah, it's Brian, the brain of the band we talking about. Of course it's deep."

I smile, "How weak and uncool you might be though?" I asked that just because I don't want this conversation to end. I like talking to him. Wow, surprisingly.

But then he staring at me with that intense gaze, creating some kind of nerve-wrecking moment that makes me nervous all of a sudden. He then ask, "Do you want to know?"

And he trapped me in those eyes I just can't get off of it. I can't turn away eventhough I know I should do it before I'm drowning more in the depth of it.

"Do you want to know my true self, Kim Yena? All of my weak and uncool sides?"

Strangely, I want it. I want to know it, why though?

"How...?" It came out just as a whisper.

"Date me. Be my girl and be a place where I can show my weak and uncool sides."

I smile, "I'm busy. I'll be taking care of Yena more than you."

He scoff, "I'm busy too. I'll be taking care of my fans more than you too."

-

  
Jae's words about Yena saying sorry after I do it first were right. We had a serious talk this morning before her schedule started and we both apologized to each other, we nearly cry. And it was funny so we both laughed at it in the end. Also, we got cool about losing that casting opportunity for a web drama, surprisingly. And promises was made between us, I'll be more considerate with her feelings and she will be more careful about what she do in the future in order to not make me worry. So we kind of overcome the awkward moment after our fight in a good and heartwarming way. It was our first fight ever but fortunately it solved finely.

Something off happen between Yena and JB instead, and now I still busy figuring out. I rewatch the latest episode of their show, I was there when they recorded it and I felt it too, the differences. But I thought it won't obvious after some editing, but it still noticeable. I go back to that part again.

_"Wait, there's something wrong between JB and Yena. They used to care about each other, but today they bickering too much."_

_"Right, they're in the same team, but all they did just bickering to each other."_

_"Yena never agreed anything JB suggested."_

_"Did you guys fight?" Almost all of them laugh because of that question._

_JB and Yena keep denying it with smiles and laughs and shaking heads._

_"In my opinion, I think they're aiming for couple of the year awards."_

Then the studio get hype about it, talking and giving comments about it one by one. Some of their comments are funny, but some of them are take it seriously as they wish them to really win that award. And like always, the main stars just respon it with smiles and laughters, plus blushing cheeks this time.

I fast forward to another odd scene. It was when they played some game that looks like badminton but with their body united in one special clothes that limited their moves.

_"Then, let's our bickering couple play it."_

_"Okay, it will be mix double then."_

_"For assuring our fans, this clothes has stitches in the middle so we're not directly touch each other." JB show that special clothes to the camera for his fans to see._

_"Yes, so Ahgase doesn't need to worry about that." Yena adding his statement._

_"Your fans are the one who will get more worry though." JB respon to Yena's statement._

_"Of course your fans will be more worry."_

_"It's obvious that your fans..."_

_Someone cut JB's words, "They're at it again, they're at it again."_

_"You will get it, that nomination. We're gonna rooting for you."_

Then the members start to teasing them again.

While me got more confused here. It gets confusing the more I replay those scenes. So what they just implied from that? Did they really fight? Did they finally realized to take some distance from each other after that night I scolded them? Or are they dating each other already but try to hide it from the others, and me especially? What is this?

And the comments got crazy because of that. It's no joke, they gained many fans after that one episode. Most of the comments are saying how cute they are as a couple, some of them wishing them dating for real, another are vocally rooting them for winning couple of the year. What is this? No bad comments, though? Is this real? What if they really got nominated for that awards? Should I expect them to go there and make an effort for it?

A knock on the door brings me back to current state. A security from IZONE's concert showing his head to me at the door. The girls still not done practicing for their farewell concert, apparently. It already took 5 hours though, I wonder when will they gonna finish it because I start to hear grumbling sounds from my stomach.

"There's a delivery for Yena, but I don't think it's for her? Because it says Kim Yena here, not Choi Yena." He said while pulling off the sticky note from the box cover.

"Oh? I am Kim Yena, actually." I smile and take the box and the sticky note from him. "Thank you for received it."

"Ah, your name is Kim Yena? You're her manager, right?"

"Yup, we have same name."

He got surprise once again then excuse himself to continue his job securing this venue. The farewell concert is tomorrow and some fans just wander around here to take a sneak peak of the girls, hoping they're lucky enough to get one or two shots of them while entering or leaving the venue.

I open the box and see bokkeumbap, looks tasty though because I'm hungry right now. Then I read the message on the sticky notes:  
_It's half serving, so you still can eat dinner with her later - J._

I'm frowning my forehead then form a smile unknowingly. This is another strange thing that happen. What's with him though? Is he really serious asking me to date him? What was he thinking? His dating rules expired already, just like JB, but is he really mean it? Why? Me, among any other girls in this planet? Why me? And the most important question is: how we're gonna dating if we hardly have time for ourself to rest?

I back to my seat, open the box completely and take a bite of the bokkeumbap. Then I'm humming excitingly, not quite sure if this tasty because I'm hungry or because it's indeed tasty. Did he made it though? No, he doesn't have that image in him.

  
-

  
**-Jae's PoV-**

_Thanks for the bokkeumbap, it was tasty._

I look at her message for like 5 minutes already, a smile forms just like that, this is so strange. It's only a short sentence chat from her but I feel happy suddenly. Why though? Am I really like her that much? It's strange and scary but heart-thumping at the same time. And the fact that I can feel like this again after a long time just... unreal. I thought I will never experience that heart-thumping again after debut and diligently obey that ridiculous rules, but hey here I am, still smiling like a fool.

Should I just be a fool for her?

Looks like the answer is yes.

"This hyung is smiling alone again, guys. Don't you think we really have to do something?" Wonpil asked in no one particular. And no one respon to him.

"You know there's this saying about love? '_You either slowly feeling it coming or it happening all at once, like you suddenly being pushed off of the cliff'._" I said still with a big smile on my face.

"So which one are you right now?" Brian gets up from his laying stance to focusly looking at me.

I turn my head to him, "The second one."

"Are you sure it's love? Are you 100% sure?" Wonpil asked because he can't believe it.

"What is this called if it's not love?"

"Attraction?" Sungjin join our conversation.

"I am indeed attracted to her."

"Because she is indeed an attractive person." Dowoon respon makes me give my attention to him.

"She's still not remember you, anyway."

Dowoon sigh, "Upsetting." He shake his head left and right, "But it's tolerable though. She just tutored me for a semester, and I bet she has many students that time, let alone all the guys who battling to get her attention. No wonder she's not remember me." He shrugs his shoulders and get back to laying on his back.

"What is her ideal type, though? Is our hyung here can be considered as her type?" Wonpil asked out of the blue.

"No one knows. Even back then, it was hard to get her attention. As long as I remember, he just dated one or two guys. She's a good person, really. She successfully increased my grades." He laugh.

"Call her." Brian suggest.

"Should I?"

"You already jumped off the cliff anyway. Just do it all the way, then. Shamelessly. There's not much to worry about now."

With that, I decided to really gonna doing it shamelessly. A fool for her? Let's do it then. Let's see how far I'll go.

"Hi?" She pick up my call after some time.

"When you ate the bokkeumbap though? Why you text me just then?"

"I ate it at lunch, but I just have time to inform you just then."

"Home already?"

"Hm."

"So the bokkeumbap was tasty?"

"Yes, but maybe that was because I ate it when I was so hungry?"

I give her a scoffing sound.

"You made it yourself?"

"Brian teach me."

"No wonder, because you don't have that image in you."

"Watch your mouth."

She laugh.

My goodness she laugh. She's in a good mood. Her day was good, apparently. Not like the last time we met.

"What are you doing?" I lay on my bed, got more relax.

"Just got home and texted you then you called."

"Wow, you texted me the moment you got home. Honored. Are you tired?"

"Not really, I just waiting Yena practicing today. Why?"

"I just got a feeling that this gonna take long."

"What? This call?"

"Hm."

"And what makes you feel like that?"

"Not quite sure. Have you think about it? My confession." I feel confident, though?

"But are you really sure about it? Should we talk about it more? Face to face?"

"Can't wait to see me already?" I smile.

It's her now who give a scoffing sound. "But, if the dating rules really expired, then your company will agree to whoever you dated? I mean, are they really not going to bother it a little bit?"

"You worry about that?"

"I should know what I'll be facing."

"So you considering my offer?" I turn my body to the side, smiling while looking at the window.

"You're still not answer my question, you know?"

"Don't worry about the company, they'll support whatever decision I make about dating the moment that rules expired."

"So it's your fans that I should worry about?"

I silent for a moment, "Yeah." And I can't lie to that. "Not gonna lie or sugarcoating that fact. You know it better than anyone." Now I looking at my blanket blankly.

"So what are you gonna do about it?"

"I prefer doing it secretly, unless you want to go public?"

"Are you crazy? Why would I want to go public?"

"So secretly, it is."

She's not respon for awhile, "I didn't say I'll do it, though?"

"Let's meet first, then. Tomorrow? Are you busy tomorrow?"

"Let's meet after IZONE's concert then?"

"Sure, at the usual place?"

"Are you okay with that?"

"Sure, I eat there often. It's one of my favorite place actually."

"See you soon, then?"

"Can we talk more?"

"It's past twelve already."

"Right, okay. Rest then, Kim Yena."

"You too."

I'm not hearing anything anymore then, and suddenly my room feels too quiet and empty. But I'm smiling? Phone still on my ear and I just smiling alone.

This is strange, period.

  
-


	8. Chapter 8

IZONE's farewell concert finished in such a touching way. Members were cried on the stage, many fans spotted crying too, but the overall stage was heart-warming. It's full of positivity and fighting spirit, promised to maintain a good relationship between the members, to keep contacting each other in the future. Yena cried the hardest, no surprised. It was like she finally able to let out the suffocating feelings she kept repressed all this time they preparing this farewell concert.

It was indeed a sobbing party.

But she got more mature than yesterday. She knows she shouldn't be drawning in that emotions for too long, so she keep her cheerful side while shooting that weekly variety show. The casts cheering her up too about her group's disbandment, and JB got soft for her and slowly they become sweet and caring to each other again in front of camera. I guess it just can't be helped, it's like they met to caring each other.

I got some advertisement offers for her, and she did good like always. Oh, and the PD of a web drama that once offered her a role called me back, told me he actually have another project he will working on soon and decided to cast Yena for that role, without audition, solely because he saw Yena's acting capability from that weekly show. He impressed by that.

I feel glad.

Things are going smooth for us though, she nearly completed her song too, and yes JB still helping her here and there, and she seems forget about my friend she once talked on the phone about her music, and that's a relieve because I don't think I'm ready to meet them up and introducing Jae as my... what? I don't know what are we. We promised to talk about this after IZONE's farewell concert but then DAY6 had comeback and he got busy for like 3 weeks because of the promotion period, so like that, we haven't talk about it seriously again after that night.

He called me sometimes though, when he had time. And when that happened, we talked for hours, we could keep going on until the sun rises if I didn't remember that he has schedule to attend the next day, that he need to sleep. But we never talk about what are we. So I guess I still going to adressed him as my friend.

Back to me that still not ready to introducing him to Yena, fate say otherwise. Because I'm here right now, in JYPE's new building, waiting Yena who still in the restroom while Jae popped out of the elevator in front of me, together with one of his bandmate.

He stop walking the moment he saw me, blinking his eyes, look surprised. "What are you doing here?" He asked, casually approaching me then smiling wide.

"I have meeting with JB's manager regarding... something." That something is actually a huge thing. We're going to discuss about JB and Yena being nominated for couple of the year.

Yes, they got that nomination. Thanks to fans that hyping them up, though.

Jae smiles in excitement, "Wow, never expect this gonna happen though? It feels so good to see you suddenly like this?"

I smile to Dowoon, DAY6's drummer, to be polite because seems like Jae is not planning to introduce us formally.

"He knows." Jae said to me.

I look at him in confuse, "About what?"

"Us." He said so calm while I'm still wondering what us he meant that Dowoon knew.

I shouldn't brought it up here, right?

Dowoon give me such a mischievous smile, "But, do you still not remember me, nuna? Really?"

Huh? What did he just said? Nuna?

"I'm sorry?" Of course I taken aback because of his way of calling me. This is he first time we met, though.

"Ah, very upsetting. Seriously? You don't remember my sister? Your best friend in high school? She asked for your help to tutored me back then, the white house at the end of the alley."

Now that feeling kind of coming to me, slowly. The image of that neighborhood he just described showing in my mind. "Baby Dowoon...? Is that you?"

He now smiling along with his ear turning red.

"What? Baby Dowoon?" Jae asked nearly laugh.

"He was a baby back then..." I still look at him in disbelief. "Wow you grew so well! Look at you!"

"Right?"

"And what's with your voice? Since when it became so deep and manly like that?"

"Ah, it just happened. Puberty, you know?" He still answering my questions with blushing cheeks and red ears. "Look, I told you she'll remember if she see my face."

"She didn't though, she remember you because you mentioned your sister."

"Just, agree with him, Jae. He's our baby."

"I'm not a baby anymore though, aish."

"You're right, though. He's a baby even to our fans. He's the cutest."

"Couldn't agree more." I look at Dowoon who his ears got redder the more we talk about him. "But now that I look at you again..." I scanning him in detail, "You're not that baby anymore."

"Of course! Why everyone can't stop calling me baby? I don't understand." He said in a really deep voice, his veins on his neck are showing and he clearly is not a baby anymore!

Wow! He's a hot grown up man, actually.

"How's your sister? Can I have her number?"

"She's studying abroad to get that master degree. I'm not bring my phone with me right now, so... through Jae hyung? I'll pass you her number through him, then?"

"Sure, okay." I smile, can't really believe this coincidence just happened. Why I never thought about him as Baby Dowoon from my past though? Is it because I simply doesn't care about their band before, or because he completely change to a very different person from back then? It must be the first case. I'm too lazy to keep up with entertainment industry before I work with Yena.

"So can we catch up later? When will you're done?" Jae asked, look at me full of hope.

"Not sure, I'll call you later?"

"Oh?!" Yena come out of the toilet and bowing right away and greeting them. "I'm your biggest fan, Sunbae! Wow!" She nearly scream, "And your comeback song this time is so good, I really like it! Really, like..."

"She play that song in a car all the time." I grumble by myself.

Jae just smiling happily, "Come to our concert, then. Let's have fun together."

"Sure! Right, unnie?"

"You want me to come with you?"

"Who else, then? Am I allowed to go alone?"

"Of course not."

"How's the progress of your song, anyway? Is it finish already?" Jae asked and an awkward silence come.

"What?" Yena asked after thinking for a full second.

"We talked before, on the phone. You let me heard a little about the melody you created..." Jae then give up explaining and look at me, "You're not tell her yet?"

And here I am struggling to answer that question.

"Tell me what? Is that you on the phone?"

"Jaehyung, you forgot I introduced myself that night?"

"But... I didn't thought... you are... unnie's friend..." Yena's head moving back and forth to him and me.

"It's him, my friend." I put a smile, a forcing one.

"Your friend, huh?" Jae's tone of voice makes me ask him 'why?' with my gaze.

-

**-Choi Yena's PoV-**

I can't believe I can chill like this with JB and two members of my favorite band, DAY6. Yes, we're sitting in one of the music studio in this company, just chilling and talk about music randomly. The meeting about couple of the year award has done, and both sides agreed to just let things happen naturally, just like what me and JB did all this time, built the chemistry without forcing it. Just go with the flow, because unnie believed that's what will make us winning the award later. No need to sugarcoat anything, because our chemistry is that good.

But with that good relationship we often showed to people, comes a concern both our managers felt. They're afraid we cross the line, always the same concern about us. JB sigh tiredly to that concern and I pretend that's not a big deal. The truth is it's already a problem me and him should solve. But in that meeting, we acted like it's not gonna happen. Like we will never liking each other that way, so they feel assured to let us be a nominee for that award.

Strangely, I feel happy with the decision, because I can keep being myself while hanging out with him, without really repressing my feelings or be careful because now that we're nominated at that award, we should somehow showing our sweetness to people. Showing that we care to each other, so that people will buy it and vote us for winning the award.

"I have a question about your comeback song, Sunbae. This part, right before the chorus, what is this called? I thought after Sungjin sunbaenim done singing his part, the song will jump right away to chorus, but you added this what? Synthesizer thing?"

"It's just a transition." Jae said.

"But is that necessary? Because I'm sure many people thought the chorus is coming, but then no, we fooled. Like, what is this? Is this unusual?"

"That's the intention, to make the song unique." JB jumped in the conversation.

"But we can't help to feel weird at first, it's not what textbook taught us."

"We're not making music from textbook." Jae laugh. "But yes it surely sounds weird at the first listen. Many listeners must expect and ready to hear the chorus, the climax of the song, but then it don't happen. It's like you held your breath hoping to release it but the song prolong it instead."

"Oh? You mentioned about holding breath, the truth is, I feel like I'm holding breath all the time the song played. Like, there is no time to release it? Like every part of the song is so intense that I'm afraid I'll miss something if I'm breathing."

"Our goal succeed, then." Dowoon sunbaenim said suddenly.

"Because that's what your real intention?" JB asked.

Jae and Dowoon do a little high five, "We want to make a very intense song that people can't let their guard down a little bit while listening to it. We want them to feel that intense feeling through the song, feeling cautios everytime, anticipate for what coming next. That's why the beat hold an important key in this song." Jae look at Dowoon, "You've worked hard, Dowoon."

Dowoon sunbae just smiling and shyly say that the hyungs worked the hardest.

Our talk got stopped by the door opening, "Time to go, Yena."

"Ah, why? I have no schedule today. Can I hang around here a little more?" She look around this room and thinking.

"Are you not having schedule too? Today?" She come inside and look at the boys one by one.

Most of them shaking their head.

"Let Yena continue her song here for an hour?" JB asked suddenly.

"An hour? Promise?"

I smile then nodded my head.

"I'll go somewhere and back an hour later, then. Don't go anywhere else or do something stupid like before, Im Jaebum."

"I won't, promise." He smiling.

"Where are you going?" Jae sunbae asked Yena unnie, his head lifted up to see her face from his sitting place.

"Not sure, taking some fresh air? Or should I visit Soul Cup to grab some drinks?"

"I'll go with you then." He stand up.

Why? Why though?

I form a frowning on my forehead, looking at them full of question. How can they become friends in the first place? What is this strange atmosphere between them?

"Aren't you guys need him to give some advice for the song or something?" She asked me and JB regarding Jae Sunbae.

"Of course, we need..."

"Not really though. I'll be enough help for her to completing the song." I turn myself to JB, who just cut my words like that? Why?

"All settled. Let's go." Jae sunbae touch Yena unnie's back to make her turn around and push her to walk outside this room.

Leaving us in an awkward silence.

"What was that?" I look at JB.

"Don't you feel it?"

"What?" I still confuse.

JB turn his head to Dowoon sunbae, ask him to explain the situation, but that sunbae is acting weird too. He suddenly grab his phone and act like he just got call from someone, then get out of this room just like that, without further words.

"His action made this even more obvious." JB laugh.

"What are you talking about?"

"DAY6's dating rules has expired too, you know? And your manager is pretty attractive, pretty much Jae hyung's type."

I gasp then, "Oh my god. You didn't say that... they are... both of them...?"

"And you saw how Dowoon got nothing to say about it too? It was obvious."

"Wow. How they met, though? I mean, Jae sunbaenim is an idol, Yena unnie is never interested in idol even after she work with me. Did they know each other for a long time before?"

"I doubt that, Jae lived in America before come here to pursuing music. Maybe they met somewhere outside entertainment world? You're the one who can ask her that."

"Oh, I will. Well..." I'm thinking, "...now I have something to use if she grumbling about our closeness and how we should be careful all the time. I'll use her words for her instead, wow. What a wonderful world."

"I hope they work it out, though."

"Why?"

"Because maybe she'll become softer when she's in love. So maybe she will accept us... to go... further?"

I smile, "She will accept us if I accept you. She always let me do what I want, you should persuade me first, it's me who don't want us to date for real."

"But your eyes and gestures and everything tells otherwise. You clearly want to go there."

"But I have responsibilities, and goals, and dreams I want to fulfill. Dating is only make it harder to accomplished."

"But you still this close to me, smiling and being cute, and clinging to me to help you finishing your song."

"Yes, is that a problem for you?" I smile, challenge him while he just looking at me in disbelief.

"No, not at all! Let's just see until when you can keep that attitude, then!"

He annoyed. It's easy to make him annoyed and show his true feelings like that.

"Isn't this good, though?" I asked after awhile.

"But it can get better." He said softly, looking into my eyes with warmness. And my heart is not okay with that.

"We just have to wait, be patient. I don't want to failed and break my dreams."

"I don't want you going through that either."

"So, we have a deal."

"You started to talking like her."

I smile, "Can't deny that she affected me that much."

"You'll hit big. Trust me, you'll be a new sensation that people follow and look up to. And when that time comes, you should know that I'll be the first one to congratulate you, waiting for you, cheering for you."

"That is sweet."

"We should be together then. In a real term, not only for awards or show, but to fulfill our thirst."

"You might interested in other girls before that time comes though."

"Oh, you too. You might know many idols then."

I laugh, "Let's just start to work. Let's finish my song today, it almost done, you just have to help me decide the arrangement."

"Okay, let's work." He smile.

-


	9. Chapter 9

"What about you? Have you cried on stage before?" I asked Jae after my long story about IZONE's last concert.

We ended up sitting on a bench at JYPE's rooftop park, enjoying the cool breeze of autumn under a big tree, while waiting Yena and JB working on her song. It surprisingly cool up here, I thought it will be hot as we close enough to the sun, but it's kind of nice. And the trees are enough to shade us.

"Once, at the fanmeeting, but that was because they showed up my mom's letter on the big screen, I mean, how could I'm not crying to that? I don't see her often, and her warm hand-written letter just felt surreal to see that time."

I look at him who facing the sky in front of us, he's endearing. His hair unstyled and it keeps get in the way around his eyes so he keep touch it, comb it to the back with his fingers. When he did that, I realized how board his forehead is, he must be a clever person.

"Am I that handsome that you keep looking at me like that?" He smile, still facing the sky but glancing at me one at a time.

I smile, "You know that feeling when you see something breath-takingly beautiful that you thought you could only see that in comic books so you can't help but admiring that like a dumb?"

He turn his face to me then, "Are you talking about me?"

My goodness I want to run and hide myself the moment he staring at me like that. How can he do this to me?

"I take that as a yes." He said because I still not answering his question, "Anyway, I know that feeling, I felt it once." He smile, "But I bet you won't believe me if I tell you when and who I saw that made me felt it."

"Don't say it, then." I turn my face away, hope I'm not blushing or anything.

"I felt it at my favorite restaurant, it was nearly midnight and I was in the middle of recording something with my members, but this person really caught my attention from the moment I saw her, and it kept me lost focus on the shoot. It was a live show, though."

"Stop it." My God, I really hope I'm not blushing right now. "Let's talk about something else."

"Something else? Hm, something else... what should we talk about then... something else..."

"Like your concert experience or anything." I sipped my ice americano, "You had your first world tour, how does it feel? Being able to see your fans around the world and letting them know your music in more personal way?"

He laugh, "What? Are you a reporter now?"

"I just curious, you know. Because I keep questioning myself after that last concert Yena did, about how important performing on stage is for her, for idols, for artists like you. Why you guys always saying that it's your dream, your life goal? How important it is to you?"

"It's a whole world for us, Yena."

I look at him.

"It's like you who want to keep doing better at your work, like a doctor who want to keep in the surgery room, like a pilot who want to keep flying, like a lawyer who want to keep in the court room. Like everyone who has dream and keep fulfilling it to the longest time possible. We, idols, are like that too. Performing on stage is what this is all about. Make people hear and see our stories, our voices, our point of views of life."

"But you can still do that even if you're not perform it on stage."

"But it feels different. When we perform, we're not only satisfy people but ourselves too. Because this is the only thing we can do, this is what we capable of, the feeling of hearing the crowd sing along our song, or get the same emotion with us, knowing that they can relate to our stories, it's satisfying. It's the best feeling ever. And dreams, Yena, is something that people can't choose. I mean, I didn't get to chose singer as my dream. If I can choose, I want to be something else with an easier career path other than singer. If I can choose, I want to have better skill at something else. But that dream just come to me, guide me, it just happened one day, somehow."

"And performing on stage is what your dream is all about, like the destination?"

"It surely one of the destination..." He thinking for awhile, "Yeah, it can be a final destination for many idols."

"For you, too?"

"For now, yes. That's why I want to keep doing it. Until I can't anymore, until people don't want to see me anymore. I will keep doing it. It's something that I love, and I will not let it go just like that."

**-Jae's PoV-**

She's afraid. My statement frightening her, she will holding herself again from me, I'm sure of that. I know I shouldn't have said that, I try to persuade her to accept me, that statement only waver her again. But I can't lie to that fact, I can't deny it. Even from her. I think it's best for her to know it from the start than to shock about it someday. She should know better than anyone else about this thing she will face later, because I can't really assure her it won't affecting my career when people, my fans especially, aware of our relationship. Well, if she think what we have right now is 'that relationship I keep thinking'. I hope we both on a same page already, but I don't know, I feel her hesitant and it something really natural to feel. I shouldn't force her, I guess.

"So what are you doing with me?"

I was right.

"If you want to keep perform on stage for a long time, why you doing this with me? Do you know why I hope Yena sane enough to not doing that couple thing award with JB? It's because they can fall to each other while doing it, in fact they're maybe fell to each other already. But I keep trying to make her sanity stay in her, and fortunately she's smart enough to understand that. She shouldn't have that feeling if she want to perform on stage for a long time. So why you do this?"

It hit me right in the chest. Yeah, why do I do this?

"Should I just stop?"

"Of course, it's the best option, don't you think?"

I smirk, "Guess you just don't like me that much."

"It's not what I mean, you know that."

"Let's just try first? Are we not even have a chance to try? Are idols that pathetic for love?"

She sigh, deep. And turning her face away again from me.

"But who knows what will happen in that process of trying, Jae."

"That's the point! No one knows. We might get through it."

"But what if we not?" She look at me again. "Don't you think we should stop this before this get deeper?"

No.

I don't want to stop.

"What if people don't want to see you perform again after find out about this? What if they hate you so much? What if you really can't perform on stage again?"

She's afraid. She's afraid that she will ruin me, my career, and popularity. And I don't know how to assure her when I, myself, also afraid of that fact. What should I do, then? To whom should I ask this question? Who has the answer?

We separated that day after the unresolved concern about our relationship. She clearly want to avoid to go deeper in relationship with me and I completely understand why. I hate that fact, but I also don't have a way out, so it's frustrated me for a whole week. It's our last week of promotion on music shows, but I can't keep my focus. I can't smile from ear to ear anymore, it's our concept this time though, but I just don't feel like it. So I looked like a tired guitarist in all the performances we did this week.

My mood going down from day to day, I feel so unmotivated I hope work would end faster everytime we went to TV station. Today, finally the promotion week will be over. We left only with one performance.

And I still did it badly.

"Let's grab something to eat first." Sungjin said lightly but with this awkward atmosphere, I know he will do something about my absent-minded self this whole week.

The members agreeing his idea without much thinking, because they're on his side already.

"We'll be back one or two hours later, hyung." Sungjin said to our manager before we all get off of the car.

We chose a table for six, placed our order, let the ahjumma arranged our table with chopsticks, spoons, glasses, two bottles of soda, and a bottle of cold water.

We still waiting for our food when Sungjin start talking, "So members, I'm sure you all know why you're here right now despite it's late and you're all tired after the schedule, so to save time..." The leader now then look at me, "What happened Jae?"

I'm gulping and take a glass of cold water before sighing deep and answer Sungjin, "Nothing happened."

Brian smirk, "Let me tell you what Sungjin meant by that." He pull out his phone and make me see a video of myself looking gloomy in every performances we did this week.

"Even fans noticed that." Wonpil added.

"Why, hyung? You have a fight with her?" Dowoon asked this time.

Can I call this a fight?

I sigh then, surrender. Guess I just have to blurt it all out to them. "What do you think if we dating someone? I mean, we, as celebrities. Idols. Is that gonna end in happy ending?"

Now they all silence. Of course the answer is no, and no one brave enough to speak it out in front of my face.

"Listen, Jae. There are many relationships that ended bad and sadly, too. It's not only happen to celebrities." Sungjin said very carefully.

"Okay, if with normal people alone there are many sad endings, what about the idols? The probability is higher then, right?"

"I don't like this kind of unmotivated conversation." Wonpil bring his back to the chair.

"But it's true, isn't it?"

"You concerned about that this whole week, that's why it made you all gloomy and unmotivated?" Brian need affirmation.

"You're afraid people know about your relationship with Yena nuna, worse, you're afraid our fans know and against the idea right away." Dowoon stated, but he's wrong.

Me and Yena hasn't even in relationship because she's too afraid to go there. We're not there yet. Well, I'm afraid too, that's why I didn't call her for once after that day on the rooftop.

"We're not even dating yet, because of that concern."

"Ah," Dowoon nodded his head, "Of course. She's a very rational woman."

"She think about the place you standing." Brian stated, ready to get something useful from this story, I guess.

"How generous. But she likes you, right? You sure she likes you that way?"

"I don't know too." I said with a deep sigh. All of this things about dating is confusing me the more I jump deeper into it.

It reminds me of one of our song, how to love. Really, how to love though? Because I'm afraid, she's too afraid. Are idols really doesn't have a chance in love kind of thing?

"But the answer is on you." Sungjin said again after an ahjumma done placing our food.

Some of us start to eat while still focusing on this conversation, but I have no appetite. I just need something cold to clear my throat, so I just keep drinking the cold water.

"It depends on you," Sungjin started, now he's munching his food too. "The worst scenario that can happen is, people know, our fans know and they're not happy about it, so they leave us, and..." He's not even dare to say it.

"We'll back to the square one." Dowoon stated a fact, the scariest one. Only Dowoon has the power doing that.

"Back to busking on the streets?" Wonpil asked after gulping his food in his mouth.

"It can be worse, we're busking but no one watching." Brian added the scary situations so casually while take another piece of meat in front of him to his mouth then chewing it happily.

That relax act makes his statement much more terrifying, somehow.

I'm screwed.

"Of course I don't want that to happen." I said quietly.

"But you still want her, which is kind of contradiction with your statement." Brian said again. "Oh, it kind of nice to make this into a song." Again, that relax act of him.

"Forget her, then." Wonpil said, with the same amount of calmness.

Easy to say when you're not the subject of this suffocating, confusing, and frustrated feelings! I want to scream that to him but I just don't have energy to do that.

"But hyungs, if this concern alone could make Jae hyung gloomy like this, imagine what will happen if he really end the relationship and try to forget her?" Dowoon asked.

"Not good. We have a world tour ahead of us, Jae. You should cheer up and get back to your own self." Sungjin said firmly. And if he talked like that, it really a sign for me to really clear up this mess.

"I have an advice. Well, a plan." Wonpil suggested, make us shift our focus to him. "First, for a test, just meet her and talk...? Let's see if meeting her will really bring back your mood?"

Brian nodded his head while still chewing his food eagerly.

"The problem is, there is no guarantee that she want to see me any sooner." I said feeling more gloomy.

"She's indeed a very rational women." Dowoon repeated his statement, he knows her, after all.

"Just try first, okay? Just popped up suddenly in front of her house or something, find a way." Wonpil insisted, "Step two, if the first step sucessful and your mood really become better..." He take a deep breath once, "...just date her. Secretly."

Most of them stop from what their doing, Brian even stop from munching his food, his mouth stop moving. Sungjin then coughing, but Dowoon is the first one to get a positive side of Wonpil's suggestion.

"At least until we done the world tour? Propose her to try doing it until the end of our world tour, then." Dowoon gave another idea.

"For being like... his mood's on/off button?" Brian asked.

"Pretty much like that. Because we're not exaggerating, Jae hyung, but the difference of your mood between this week and last week is this big." Wonpil lift his right hand up high while the other hand is down trying to touch the floor. The other members agreeing him with a nodded head.

"Try not to get noticed." Sungjin added.

"Do you guys really aware of what you just saying? I mean, the worst scenario can be happen anytime. It can happen in the middle of our tour, do you all ready for what we'll facing if that scenario happen?"

"We're all in this together." Brian said.

"Hyung, this thing can happen to any of us sooner or later, we're humans, normal people. It's just you're unlucky right now that it happened to you first. We'll be doing the same if the other has the same situation. Right?" Wonpil looking at the members one by one.

"Of course."

"Popularity won't lasts forever anyway. It will fade no matter how good you maintain it, it's an inevitable fate celebrities should face everyday." Brian pause his eating for awhile, "If it's not go down by the dating scandal, it can be go down by something else."

"A new band, for example. Nothing lasts forever anyway." Dowoon agreeing Brian.

"So let's just do everything that make us happy. That's what we always say to our fans, right? To be happy, and try to stay happy all the time. It's not evil if we trying too, for the sake of our life." Sungjin closed this discussion with a meaningful look to me.

It's been so long since the last time I feel this sincere emotions from people, I guess they are really a bunch of good people on earth. And since when I feel this close to them? Like, I just told them the most private part of me without burdens at all, and surprisingly, their words encourage me in any way possible. I should be grateful.

"Thanks, guys..." I look at them shy, I think my cheeks are blushing.

"Cute." Wonpil look at me.

"Look at him blushing." Brian gets excited.

"We become much more closer, right?" Sungjin smile to me.

"And you didn't expect that, right Jae hyung?" Dowoon smirking at me.

"I think I'm almost Korean right now. I used to have no emotions regarding things, but after lived here for long with you all, I started to get emotional at little things in our everyday life."

"That's Korean sentiment." Wonpil stated.

"It's something good to have in writing Korean lyrics, really." Brian added while keep eating his remaining food.

"Go get her, okay? Have a courage and confidence, okay?"

I smile to Sungjin and finally touch my food.

-

  
"So, you and Jae Sunbae are..."

"Friends." I answered her question too fast that it makes her more suspicious of me.

"But that will progress to..."

"Seems not, Yena."

"Unnie, do you have some kind of superpower to read my mind? Do you even know what I would ask?"

"Okay, let's do it again. Ask me again."

"You both like each other and it's obvious, even JB oppa saw it before I did. Your relationship gonna be progressing to dating."

"Seems not, Yena." I said to her with the exact same tone.

Because he didn't call me again, not even once, after that serious talking on the rooftop.

I sigh, I know I made him step back that day because that's the right thing to do, but I confess that I kind of miss his late night call, where I can talk about anything as random as it can be. He's the best person to talked with so far in my life.

"But why not?"

"You're the one who knows it the best, why still asking?"

"But it's different from my situation. Just like JB oppa, Jae sunbae also has an expired dating rules, which means his company will allow him to date. And you're not an idol or celebrity, you don't need to be scandal-free to keep up with life, not like me."

"Do you ever think it's not only his company who against the dating thing all this time?"

Yena laugh, "What? You're afraid of his fans? Really? Wow, I finally found something you afraid of."

"I totally okay if they just against the dating thing but then do nothing about it, or if they hate me so much after found out about it that makes them leaving harsh comments about me, I'm totally fine with that, really." I pause to take a deep breath, "But what if they turn their back from him? What if they hate him because of that scandal? What if they ruin him or worse, the group?" I glance at her from the rearview mirror, "Do you ever think that far? Do you ever think you or JB can be in that position too?"

"Unnie, listen to me. I watched Park Jinyoung PD's interview the other day, there's a question about his past action that announced his relationship to the public. Most of his fans leave, but then he said he made a right decision back then, because it made him realized who his true fans are. True fans are those people who still support and cheering him eventhough he said he has a girlfriend. That was his true fans, because they understand that he's a human too, just like them. That was what I can get, sort of."

"But there is no guarantee the same will happen to him."

"Of course, unnie. But who knows? He might be end up in better situation than his boss."

"Why are you being like this, though?"

"Because it's sad! If you give up your real life because of this idol thing too, it will only become a sad story. Is idol really that sad? Really? We should pretend most of the time, covering ourselves with the image people and fans want to see from us, so when can we be what we really are if the chance to do that in front of the one we love is being prohibited too? It's not fair, unnie. And you're not even an idol, for god's sake." She's whining, complaint, and grumbling annoyingly at this situation.

But I don't know what I should say regarding that.

"I wish at least one of us can be happy right now. I'll be happy later, after I succeed my solo debut. At least you can be happy right now. Because this situation really bring down my mood."

  
-


	10. Chapter 10

"What?" I look at him dead serious.

A week passed without his usual night call but he suddenly appeared at my front door then persuaded me again to be with him. I don't deny that I miss him and our late night talk before sleep, but I thought I told him everything that day on the rooftop. About the consequences, the risks he might facing if we keep doing this. I thought he really think about it and give up, but what did he just said? A proposal to doing this until his world tour finish? Because what? Because he needs me to keep his mood good for the performance? That sounds ridiculous, actually.

"Try until our tour finish, if nothing's happen, let's do this for real."

"But Jae, anything can happen..."

"I told you and I assured you, I talked about this with my members. And this is what they suggested me to do. Well, unless you don't like me that way." He move to sit on the same sofa as me, close. "You like me that way, don't you?"

"Listen, we can still talking like we always do as friends, Jae. Your mood will be fine, and you'll slay every stages on tour just fine. Your fans will be fine, literally a happy ending for everyone."

"Can I touch you as your friend?" He touch my front hair and tuck it behind my ear then get closer to me, "Can I be this close to you as your friend?" His face get closer too and I think I'm holding my breath right away.

"Wait..." I said it softly, without me knowing it slipped out of my mouth as a whisper. I hold him on his chest spontaneously, but my hands not really push him away.

This is a danger.

He keep getting his face closer until just a thin of air separating us, "Do you hate me?" He asked quietly too.

"Of course not." Again, a whisper. The truth is, I starting to like you, because a whole week without your voice feels like a month, it's unexpected, and I secretly hoping you call me again somehow to talk about something, about random thing you always brought up for us to discuss.

Of course I only have the braveness to say all of that in my mind.

"Try, then. Try with me, Kim Yena." He's staring at me so intense I hate how he makes me feel right now.

I can't take my eyes off of him.

"I'll be good for you, I'll be a fool for you. I'm a mess this whole week without you."

We're staring. "Are you sure? Really? Like, seriously?"

He answer it with a kiss. A hesitant one. But only at first, because for the next second, he kiss me more proper. Slow but deep, sucking it slowly, but deeply. Putting all his feelings into it, knocking my heart to get in. He grip my neck very softly, touching my cheek with his left thumb while the other hand placed on my waist.

Sucking me once again and I finally let him in, open myself widely for him to enter, messing me up. But now I don't mind. Right at this moment, I don't mind it. I don't know if I will still feel the same like this later but right now, I just need him for me. Feeling me while I feeling him, from his lips on mine through the every cells on my body, makes the electricity running to waken up every part of me.

Makes me moan in shiver. I'm shivering. When was the last time I feel like this? It's a long time ago. Really, a long time ago, and I'm sure it never felt this great.

Don't stop. Jae, don't break the spell.

I kiss him back, with all my heart. His lips taste so delicious, moist but firm. His moves are firm now, tilting his head to kiss me deeper. I hug him, circling my hands on his neck. Screw the fans. Right now it's only us, me and him.

We only pulled out when we almost out of breath, watching each other in affection. He's endearing, how many times should I say it? He's that handsome, makes me whimper and shivering. My hands shaking on him, feeling his neck skin in every tip of my fingers, his eyes piercing through me.

"Don't worry about anything, I'll do everything. This exact moment could be something we can get back to, could be a page for us." He whisper it close in my lips, "Should I singing it for you?" He give a fast smooch on my lips.

Then we just staring at each other with his forehead glued to mine.

"Say something." He demanded.

"I'm screwed."

He smile, "You're being honest with yourself. You can't resist me."

I back off a little to see his face better, a full image of his face. But then his eyes locked to mine again, I can't never escaped from it.

"You can touch, you know." He said still with a really soft voice.

And touch, I am. I touch his hair on his forehead, then my thumb linger on it.

"I don't want bad things happen to you." I said finally.

"I know."

"I'm not sure if this is a bad thing or not."

"It's not, for now." He grip my waist tighter.

"I will stop the moment I feel something bad is going to happen. I will stop whether you like it or not."

"Can you at least discuss with me first?"

I shake my head, "No."

"Yena..."

"Agree, or I'm not doing this at all."

"Dowoon said you're a very rational woman, but he never said that you're a stubborn one too." He smirk and blink his eyes, a special gesture of him. "Deal, but for now, you shouldn't repress any of your feelings to me. Release it all, I want to feel it."

"You sure?"

"Never this sure."

We're looking at each other for seconds that feels like takes my breath away. What's with this guy, really? He's an idol, for god's sake. How come he can be this brave?

He smile.

So I kiss him this time, and we easily lost to each other again, kissing long again forgetting time. Drawn to each other again in pleasure.

  
-

"So Unnie, in order to increase our vote, we decided to make a duet song." Yena said with bright eyes.

"A couple song." JB added.

"You guys are unstoppable, aren't you?"

Yena laugh when JB just smiling with both of his shoulders up. I glance at JB's manager who sit at the corner of the room calmly.

"Let's hear the song first." He said, still calm.

JB play the song then, "Still no lyrics, but we have something in mind already."

"We're gonna write it together, our names will be on the credit. Right?" Yena asked JB.

"Of course, for the first time, your name is gonna be on credit. It's gonna feel so good, I assure you."

"Oh I really can't wait to feeling that! Unnie, please."

I sigh, "What do you think?" I asked JB's manager.

"Well, our agency never do something half-heartedly. If we comitted to get something, we will do it all out. For winning that award, this is actually a good strategy. It's natural, as you wish it should be, and at the some time can make people drawn to them more."

"Yeah, I know the main and important key to keep people's interest on them is keep giving them something to talk about, a content about them to comment and satisfy their wants." I nodded my head. "I think it's pretty good, then."

Yena shout 'Yes!' standing from sitting position and JB gave her his palm to do high five.

"Sorry to interrupt your business meeting, but the recording will start again in 2 minutes." A staff announced.

JB and Yena walking out of the room then, keep talking to each other about the game.

"But, you're really not a mafia this time? Are you sure?"

"I'm not, really."

"I'll cancel this couple song thing if you really a mafia, oppa."

"Ah, why you being like that? That thing and this thing is different!"

Their voices fade away as they get distant from this waiting room.

"Should I try to promote them? Find a chance for them to perform that song?"

JB's manager smile, "I can do it easily and faster. Let me do it, you can just relax this time. Use your energy for something else later. I'll start to promote them the moment they finish the song."

"Oh, so nice working with you."

He shrug both of his shoulders, "I'm not this kind of person in the past, but..."

I looking at him, waiting him continue his words, "But what?"

"Jaehyung that kid made me do this. To be nice to you." He whispered.

Ah...

He stand up, "Don't break his heart, he has a pure little weak heart inside, opposite from his playful American look."

"What? Are you kidding me? He looks like a pro heartbreaker, though."

"Trust me, he's not. He has many weaknesses. You'll see that little by little soon, but don't get too surprised." He walking to the door, "Stay in good relationship, okay? He looks so bright after you two officially dating." With that last words, he disappear behind the door.

It only until his tour finish, though. I agreed to do this only until his world tour finish, to keep him energetic. Truthfully, that sounds so weird, I think he just making up that reason. There's no way that I'm the one who make his mood changes, that's ridiculous.

-

  
**-Choi Yena's PoV-**

I think today is the happiest day of my life. Me and JB completed our couple song in a good mood, and JB's manager passed the news about us to perform it in one of music show as a special stage. I never expect that to happen, we only thought it would be nice to have a song together to increase our vote for the awards, but it escalated better. And now I can't wait to creating the moves and choreography with him.

But that can wait. Because right now, I'm going to see my favorite band performing on their last day of Seoul concert. After this they will go to America for like two weeks for their world tour, so I wonder how Yena unnie feels right now. I take a glance at her every once in a while but she looks so relax, sitting with her back touching the seat.

While me can't even stay still, I keep moving my body following tha rhythm of DAY6's song that playing to hyping up the crowd before the concert started.

When the music suddenly stop and the lights got off, loud screams filling up the hall. I screaming too, loud, with a lightband on my right hand. The moment the intro started to play, my heart beats so fast, and it feels like this concert hall will break by people's screaming. And when I thought the scream can't get any louder, it become crazier as the curtain drop showing DAY6's members standing at their place with their instruments, ready to rock the night.

Jae sunbaenim's screaming greeting us, starting their first song, striking us right away with 3 consecutive head-banging rock songs. And I easily loosing myself, don't ask about my mind, because I don't care anymore I'm screaming and jumping up and down crazily, along with the other fans, become one. This is one of the time when I feel I just like any normal people in this country, really. And the feeling I felt right now is real, I like it so much. I want to drawn in music waves like this for the rest of my life if I could.

I still taking a glance at Yena unnie beside me, and thank god, she enjoying this too, finally. I found her jumping along too, although it's not as crazy as I am. At least I know she's relieving her stress too right now, because that's the main goal of attending DAY6's concert, really. Jae sunbaenim said once, 'Just bring all your stress and sad feelings to our concert, we'll settle all of that for you.'

That was true, apparently.

The intense part of the concert end, we're kind of rest for a bit. The members greet us one by one, talking to us, tell us an update about everything.

"For the next song, Young. K will introduce it first to you." Sungjin said in the middle of his fast breathing.

Young. K laugh and smile in disbelieve at Sungjin's act because he's out ouf breath as well, but try to explain it anyway. "So the song we will perform next is about the beginning of human's relationship."

Screaming filling up the hall again.

"It's their recent song." I told Yena unnie who just nodded her head, understand it already. "My favorite song right now."

"Every DAY6's new released is your favorite." She said matter of factly.

"Cant help it, it's because the song is THAT good."

"That kind of emotion... the anxiety and possitive stress that you get when meeting new people..." Young. K sunbaenim continue.

"Romantically or not." Jae sunbae made a little note of Young. K sunbae's explanation.

"Yeah, at the beginning of relationship whether it's with someone romantically or with a coworker or with a friend or with someone you've just met on the street, it all starts with this word. And what is it, Jae?" Young. K sunbae smiling to him.

Now I listen to the song's introduction focusly because I just feel some kind of epiphany. And the gesture Young. K sunbae gave while he look at Jae sunbae is like... teasing him...?

Jae Sunbae laugh, "Oh, so it go around like this?"

"Yeah, we take turn to explain the song like this."

"So yeah, a... that word he meant is flutter. This fluttering feeling you felt at the beginning of relationship..."

"The excitement." Wonpil added.

"Right, this song is describing those feelings. It's very positive, hopeful, and..." Jae sunbae look at Wonpil.

"Exciting...?"

"Yeah, it's a very positive song at the beginning of relationship, a hope that you and that new person can be on the same page." He smile, "Romantically or not."

Why he keep emphasizing that 'romantically or not' though? It makes me more sure about the thought that just flashed in my mind.

I look at Yena unnie beside me, giving some kind of meaningful look, because now I can't help but thinking it's her who Jae sunbae talking about. But she just look at me while mouthing 'what?' trying to act innocent about it. I smiling at it, teasing her, make her open her eyes bigger at me.

"But, Jae hyung was the one who make this song our title. Because at the first voting, this song came in 3rd place, but suddenly..." Jae sunbae look at Wonpil and kind of give a warning look.

Oho? What is this again?

"...one day Jae hyung said that this song is getting better the more you listen to it. He said it gives hope at the beginning of relationship, hope that makes you go with it and not give up on it."

The members agreed to Wonpil's statement but I caught it already. How smooth.

"But this song really gets better the more you listen to it. It somehow pull me to keep listen to it. It has a weird pull that I thought would pull the listeners too."

"Gravity. It pull you to move closer. It's gravity."

It's just affirming my thoughts about Yena unnie being the main subject of Jae sunbae's song explanation. Wow, that kind of sweet though? If that's really true, of course. How can I prove it though? Should I confirming directly to Jae sunbae? Because this unnie beside me is clearly clueless or still underestimate her own value to Jae sunbae. His eyes can't lie, though. I saw the way he see her that day in the studio, and it's really radiating something. I didn't know what 'something' is at first, but after JB oppa mentioned about it, it's obvious.

Even now.

Ah, that must be feel good.

-


	11. Chapter 11

"Wow, I don't know there's a place like this around here." I said when I step inside the cafe Jae forced me to drive to.

It's a couple cafe, the tables are separated with some kind of curtain to one another, to be more private with your partner. It's like a PC rooms but with cute and sweet decoration. I pick the not-so-pink table, we sit beside each other right away, waiting our tteokbokki being served.

"I did some research, you know. How was your first DAY6's concert by the way?" Jae asked lightly.

"It was fun, so cool. Everything was so cool, we all really lost our mind for three hours straight."

Our talk got pause as the ahjumma come from behind the curtain to serve our tteokbokki.

I look at him who now watching me.

"What?"

"Just tell me."

"What?"

"You're thinking about something related to the concert."

"Is that the main reason why we're here right now?"

"Not really, I do want to eat this." He take a bite of tteokbokki and chewing it too eagerly that I found it over reacting. "You were acting weird after the concert. You were fine when we met at the waiting room before the concert started, but you have so much to think about right now."

I take a bite of tteokbokki to avoid answering his question while my brain works so hard to find something else to talk about.

"Kim Yena? Really?"

I sigh because how can I still pretend that this thing I keep thinking is not bothering me if he can read me so visibly like that? And what's with his gaze? His confidence is no joke, really. Just like JB. Is everyone from that agency has this same confidence level in them? And power to make people feel intimidated?

"Your concert was amazing." I started, honestly I don't know how to put this into words. "Your... whole existence on stage was... so... dreamy-like."

"Okay, I'm trying to understand, keep going."

"You're handsome, you have a really good posture, your singing was beautiful, your guitar playing was even more beautiful. You stand at your place with so much confidence and happiness, I know how hard it is to stand on that place. That place you're standing clearly is not something that can be obtained in one night, I... somehow understand the hardships and struggles you guys went through to reach that place."

Jae sighing, seems like he know now where this conversation is going.

"Your fans are amazing, too. They love you guys so much. I heard some of their chit chat tonight between the concert, they're talking about their life's struggles and how your music become like the light for them. Some of them struggling to attend your concert too, but despite of that, they're manage to come on time to see you."

"That's why I always grateful to them."

"Right, you should. You shouldn't disappoint their efforts."

"Yena, listen..."

"No, listen to me first. I'm not done."

"But..."

"You want me to talk, aren't you?"

He look at me and sighing again.

"And more than your fans, Jae... I saw you. The real you, on stage. Uncovered. How happy you were up there, your eyes blinked in excitement. I saw your passion too, at singing, at playing guitar. It was such a beautiful image that almost made me shed a tear. You were so sincere, pure, happy. Was that just gimmick or practiced-expressions? I bet it wasn't. I bet you'll still radiating all of those things everytime you go up on stage, no matter what happen. You show us how much you love what you do on stage, how much you love doing music and performing."

He blink and gulping down.

Here comes a sad part, "So I... this thought just come to me... how dare I take all of that away from you? You said you want to do that for a long time, so how dare I... just stop you from doing it sooner or later?"

A silence.

"Are you done? Are you done voicing out your thoughts? Listen to me this time."

Now it's me who gulping down. I feel nervous suddenly solely because of how determined his gaze at me right now.

"You know something that a little bit stronger than fear?"

We're staring intensely before I speak, "What?"

"Hope. Hope, Yena. That thing can be a liiiitle bit stronger than fear."

Now I'm really nervous, my heart beating so fast.

"What you feel right now is fear. You're afraid something bad will happen to me, afraid that the worst scenario will really happen to me. You're imagining that fear in your head, creating your own image about it, while the fact is that things you're afraid of aren't happening at all. Well, not yet."

He's right. And I hate how he is so right and already pulling me to his way of thinking. I came up with the best narration I could made, though. But right now, he's already success to break half of it.

"Are you still with me? Because I have something that can defeat that fear. Honestly I'm afraid too, I have the exact same fear that keep shadowing me, Yena. Trust me, I do. Don't ever think I didn't worry about it at all, no. I'm afraid too. But I found a way to push that fear a little bit to the back. So are you still with me in this? I mean, if you don't want to keep doing this, then what's the point? I don't want to fighting alone in this. Do you want me? Do you want to fight with me?"

I feel bad. Seriously, I feel bad, what am I thinking? I shouldn't be take this thing between us as a joke. Because he's not joking at all. He never joking from the beginning.

Suddenly that 'want' is filling me. I do want him, oh my god. After he kissed me that night, after I kissed him back and secretly doing this with him, of course I want him. More than I expect it to be. How fool I am thinking I just need to do this until his tour finish. I want him, however it possible. I want him for a little bit longer.

Damn, is this what Yena felt everyday about JB?

"Say something." Jae take my hand and squeeze it.

"I do." I lift up my head finally to look at him. "God, Jae, I do. I do want you, oh my god. I'm sorry that I brought this up. We passed this talk already."

"Right, so listen to me." He touch my hair and tuck it behind my back. "There's a thing I keep doing recently to win over that fear. That fear comes because you keep imagining the worst case of this relationship. You should know that everything comes in pair in this world, to beat that fear, you should learn the opposite of it, which is hope. Beat that fear with hope."

"How?"

"Instead of imagining the worst scene, creates the best scene in your mind. Instead of imagining 'what if the fans found out about us and not happy about it', creates a scene where the fans will never have an idea about us at all, creates a scene where even they found out in the end, they will accept us. Creates a scene where we successfully going through all that. Imagine those happy scenes instead of the sad and hurtful one. Because who knows what might come to us, who knows what happen to us later. It can be bad, but it can be good, too. And to keep having that positive mind, please only think about our happy scenes from now on. Think of that and fight with me. I can't do this alone."

Am I allowed to cry?

"Oh, why are you crying?" He asked with such a cute tone while wiping out a tear that just drop down without me knowing. "Are my words touch you that much?"

I blink my eyes and another tears drop down again. "Where did you learn that?"

"I found the formula myself, because there is no one has an answer to this confusing feelings." He now busy wiping out my tears with his thumbs.

"Who are you?"

"Park Jaehyung." He smile, nearly laugh. "Park Jaehyung who suddenly like you so much."

He kiss me. I kiss him back but then my tears coming down harder so I move myself instead to be in his arms, to hide my face on the crook of his neck. He circle his hands on my waist right away, hug me.

"Can I cry for a little bit?"

"Mm hm."

"But your shirt will get wet if I do it like this."

"Who cares, Yena? No one cares."

I started sobbing and he put one of his hand on my back and caressing it softly.

"I nearly dump you."

"I know, I feel it coming. But I come prepared, you know? I got you back. And nothing's matters anymore. All about you and I from now on, everything else can wait. Should I singing that for you?" He launch a little laugh.

It's weird that I'm laughing in the middle of crying. How can this even possible to happen?

"Tteokkbokki is getting cool down." I feel the lost of his hand on my back and hear a sound of chopsticks meet the plate. "Ah, this tteokkbokki is so tasty."

I hug him now, on his waist, with both of my hands.

I think I suddenly like him too.

  
-

Me and Jae got closer really fast after I finally have confidence in dating him. He gave me strength so now I let myself being pulled to him without any restrain. We both busy, but we always found a time to meet every once in a while, as possible as our schedule let us, whether at my place, at his agency while I wait Yena and JB practicing the choreography for their couple song, or at TV stations when DAY6 and Yena unexpectedly has the same schedule of work for that TV. But the only comfortable place to cuddling and chilling with him is my place. Of course. He stopped by if he had time, sometimes spent a night make his members tease us if we meet unintentionally.

Everything about this relationship is going fine so far, I feel happy with him, and I never expect it. Everyday feels like another day I will anticipate so much. My works feel lighter, somehow. Yena said it too, that I took everything lightly these days, not rushing like before, I look more at ease. The truth is I still worry and feel anxious about her future career, but now I can handle it by thinking of happy scenes that can happen in the future. A method Jae told me to get rid of fear that shadowing me. It works, somehow. I become a very positive person and I like how he took part in it effortlessly.

Jae seems happy too. Yena showed me comments from his fans about his group's comeback this time, and most of the comments pointing out how happy they are, especially Jae. They won 1st place too in music shows, for the first time ever and I saw how Jae's happiness overflowed upon hearing that news. He is indeed happy.

And thankfully luck seems to be here on me and Yena's side too, because job offers just like come to us every once in a while. Like when Yena done with a project, there's already another project coming to be anticipated by fans, it's not make her too busy, but not make her rest too long either. I thank God everyday for that.

All this happy moments feel surreal somehow, I hope it's not some kind of signs of bad thing that will happen soon. Because there's a saying about with every happy moments in life, bad thing will follow.

I hope it won't ended that way. I hope it just happy moments everyday.

"Breakfast first?" I asked Jae who still lazily hug me, put his head above my head, kissing it every once in a while.

"How about order something at drive-through later as we going to my schedule location?"

"Are you serious about me being with you all day today?"

"You're free today. Besides it's a local event, off air."

"But..."

"We didn't see each other for almost two weeks."

"But we facetime-ing often, Jae."

"Well, that's not enough." He kiss the top of my head again.

I hug him tighter then, let the comfortable silence filling up my room. Let him and his argument win over me just like that. I don't hate the idea anyway, I just feel a little fear, as always. But I think that would be fun.

"You know, the fact that I'm doing this with idol still feel surreal to me."

"What idol? I just normal guy in front of you."

"Okay, right, of course..." I pause for awhile, "...and about what you said earlier, you told me about that method, to only think about happy scenes that can possibly happen to us in the future..."

He make a deep sound with his throat, following my talk.

"What did you imagine? What kind of happy scenes that you keep thinking to make your hope a little bit stronger than your fear?"

"It's a secret."

"What?" I move up my body a bit, use an elbow as support to look at him. "It's something dirty, isn't it?"

He's smirking and slowly turn into smiling, his eyes closed, "30 percent of it?" He said while move his body to laying position, strecthing up.

I scoff, launch an unbelievable laugh.

He open his eyes, looking at me from those small captivating eyes, "Can't help, though. You're looking like this every morning."

"Like what?!"

He moving up too, closing his face to me "Like a whole delicious breakfast." then kiss my cheek with a loud chu sound. "Good morning, princess."

"Don't call me that."

"Queen."

"Don't." I smile.

"Sweetheart?"

"No."

"Sugar?"

"Jae, don't."

"Roger that, Yena." He peck my lips fast.

"You better get ready."

He get off the bed, "Roger."

"Have I told you that your driving skill is outstanding?" He asked, we're half way to the event location where the festival held, just finish munching our breakfast.

"Yena told me about it too, once."

"You better than our driver, really. Very gentle."

I'm smiling while focusing on turning right.

Then the rest of the road filled with him playing his favorite songs while singing it very sincerely. I sing along some of the songs too, but mostly I didn't know what song he's playing.

"Aren't you going to hurt your throat for later?" I asked after some times.

"It's a warm up. Now let's play something nice to dance to." He scroll his phone and not long after, a dance song heard blazing the car.

And we both moving our bodies along with the beat of the song.

"We do it like this back then." I moving my hands to left and right at the red light, my feet trying to do dance step I once learned before going to club for the first time, such an old story of mine.

Jae cheering, "You did that a lot at the club, didn't you?"

"Dowoon's sister taught me that move for my first clubbing experience."

"First clubbing experience, oh wow. You went with her?"

"Yes, and with some sunbaes from our faculty, too."

"Guys?"

"Of course there were guys, and girls. We went as a group."

"How was it? Your first experience?"

"I don't quiet remember."

He turn his head and smiling, "No need to lie about it."

I let out a laugh, "I'm not lying though. I don't remember the detail, but I think I ended up dancing that move she told me at the dance floor, crazily, together with the others."

"You got drunk too, that night?" Now he turn down the volume.

"Wait, why we talking about this suddenly?"

"Oh, I'm curious. Dowoon said you were the center of guys' universe back then. Did you got drunk that night? Was there a guy who took you home that night? What happened next?"

"That was just the night when I experienced clubbing for the first time, not any other first time." I think my cheeks turn red right now, what are we talking about in the middle of the day like this?

"Oh, it was different night, then."

"You know, we can talk about this with bottles of beer later. I want to hear your stories too, but this is not the right time." I keep avoiding his gaze by focusing my sight on the road.

"Okay, cool. I'll make it a special schedule for it."

I clear my throat. "Have you go there? Club? Here in this country?"

"To perform, yes." He said shamely.

"Other than that? Before you debut? With your trainee friends? Never?"

"No, as long as I can remember."

"Not even once?!"

"Wow, that tone insult me."

I hold myself from laughing, "I mean, are you sure? I thought the first place foreigners would step their feet into in this country is a dance club."

"The first place I stepped my feet into is Kpop Star Audition hall."

"Ah, right."

"And things really got chaotic that time." He laughing, reminiscing the old times. "Even after that."

"Was it hard?"

"It was the hardest part of my life."

"No wonder. Trainee times always the hardest part for idols." And the fear of ruining that effort he did with this dating scandal is flashing my mind again. It can't be helped.

"But I had fun, too. I always grateful I went through it, though. I got many life lessons from it."

I smile to him, "You're a very positive dude."

"I was very negative back then. The members taught me well about positivity, that's what keep me going up front everyday, Yena."

I just glance at him because we're here. I will continue this talk later, I made a note to myself.

We arrived at the parking lot of the event location and see DAY6's van already parking. I turn off the car while he gather his stuff, which is the only sling bag, and checking himself on the rearview mirror. He's fine. No, he's handsome even without that much make up on his face. My boyfriend is that handsome.

"Is there something I can bring with me? At least I should look like some kind of staff or something to you."

"Take this, then." He offer his sling bag while I looking up to the backseat and found some water bottles I always stock for Yena.

"This is better, though." I let a little laugh escape my mouth, take two bottles of water and put on a masker before we finally get off.

There's still some fans around, taking some shots on him, while I walking a little to the back with my head down, carrying bottle of water in both of my hands. Jae smile a little, but keep walking straight in steady steps to the building.

I fasten my steps automatically, just like what I always did when I walking with Yena, to open and hold the door for her. I do it to Jae too and he give me an impressive look at my acting. Some staffs walking around, directing us to DAY6's waiting room where the other members already sitting there leisurely. Some music's playing in the room make Dowoon and Wonpil dance along to the rhythm, Sungjin is still finishing his make up, while Young. K is close his eyes in a sofa very comfortably. He's sleeping probably.

"What? Nothing happened?" Dowoon and Wonpil asked as they see us walking through the door with ease.

"The fans aren't there on the entrance? You both looks too relax." Sungjin asked in surprise too, Young. K open his eyes.

"There are not that many, I guess?" Jae answered and sit on a chair in front of the mirror, beside Sungjin, ready to transform to an idol.

"I'm his manager today." I pull down the masker on my face, smiling and bowing at them, "Please help me get through it." I laughing helplessly then.

The members make weird noises, teasing us.

"Welcome, nuna. Welcome." Dowoon said while clapping his hand.

"Hold this, then. Make your disguise looks more convincing." Young. K smile then offer me a camera.

"Yes, I'll do it." I said formally, walking to him to grab the camera, "But I'll only shoot Jae with this."

"That's fine, we'll stick closely to him to be able to get in the frame." Sungjin move his chair after the make up unnie done transformed him, smiling into the camera I'm holding.

Jae smiling too, but not moving his head because the make up unnie started doing her job to transform him.

"How long it took to complete your make up?" I asked suddenly to Sungjin.

"Oh?" He taken aback, "Around... 20 minutes? There's nothing much to do with my hair, so it took faster than Brian."

Now Dowoon and Wonpil get noisy agreeing that fact, "It took an hour just to finshing Brian hyung's hair!"

Brian, or Young. K, is denying. So the scene I record for the next minutes is how they argue to prove each other's theories.

They are fun.

I focusing the camera again to Jae. Make up is done, now the stylist work on his hair, but it doesn't take that long, too.

"Your hair isn't styled that much though."

"So it can still moving when I do head bang." He do it, the head bang, with hands gesturing him playing guitar. His hair indeed still moving wherever his head's moving.

"So cool!" Brian scream annoyingly.

"Yes, very cool." I said without me knowing.

"I'm envy it!" Now wonpil scream ing, makes me laugh because I don't really get what he meant by that.

But Sungjin affirming my confusion, "You envy about his hair, or about..."

"Both of it!" He scream again making this room filled with laughter.

Oh they are a bunch of fun people.

-


	12. Chapter 12

**-Jae's PoV-**

Today is going too smooth and fine for me. It felt like heaven from the moment I open my eyes, it also felt too peaceful when she was walking with me to the waiting room. Everything felt too unreal to be true and I feel some kind of nervous and anxious suddenly.

But she's still smiling at me while holding that camera after I finish my make up and hair.

I guess she's feeling my little concern because she ask, "What are you thinking?"

"About how come today going so smooth and perfect and fine like this."

Sungjin jump in the conversation, "That kind of day is rarely happen to us." He laugh a little while the other members agreeing his statement.

"Isn't that just because you're all happy right now to perform?" She asked again, moving the camera to everyone's faces.

"It is, but you know, nothing's going this smooth for us in the past. There must be something that ruin this perfectness." Brian said.

"It's like a calm before the storm, isn't it?" Dowoon asked and everyone agreeing.

"Fighting, guys." That cheering slipped out of her mouth automatically. Maybe we look nervous to her right now and made her cheer us up like that suddenly.

A staff appear and tell us that stage is clear now and our instruments are placed there already, a clue for us to do final setting and check sound. We all stand up and walking out of the room, me at the very back with her still recording me with her camera, walking beside me. I'm smiling to it, all the time I'm walking, until I see some members already walking up the stair to the stage, my smile gone then suddenly.

I sneeze.

Once, twice.

I stop walking, sneezing even more. Oh my god, please don't let this happen now.

But it happen.

So this is it, the bad thing that ruin this perfect day. That's the only thing I can think of when my sneeze become more intense. This is not good.

I step back and come closer to the wall, lean my hands to it to hold myself from falling. I feel the burning around my nose, I think I have running nose already, still can't control my sneezing. It feels so itchy too so I keep touching it. Not long after, I feel my eyes got blur. Blury from tears that fell down without I wanted.

The last thing I remember is I sit on both of my knees, one hand on the wall, the other is in front of her giving a sign for her to not coming closer to me, while my manager is screaming something to some staffs in charge not far from me, and I heard many footsteps going back and forth in hurry around this dark corridor.

Until someone pass me the spray medicine I use whenever my allergy strike. Long time no see this friend though. I shake it and put it on my nose right away and press a button to spray it around my nasal while looking down my head. Something very ugly to see with all this runny nose and unstoppable sneezing plus red and watery eyes.

This is the ugliest moment for me, I feel so vulnerable, insecure, weak. I've been bullied in the past because of this, and now she see it, one of my weakness, right in front of her eyes. And this isn't a day I thought she will see it. I'm not ready.

Damn, I really am not ready.

-

  
DAY6's performance was postpone until Jae's condition got better. The performer who supposed to perform after them is going up the stage instead. The members who already on the stage and done with instruments checking walking down the stage again as their manager instructed. Their instruments are cleared up from the stage once again.

Their manager just finish screaming and grumbling to staffs who forgot get rid of real flowers from this area. True that this incident won't happen if Jae consume his allergy medicine like he always do, but their manager upset to the staffs because he clearly warned them to not put any real flowers around the stage beforehand because one of the member has pollen allergy but they forgot about it too. Too bad that the omission happen when Jae forgot to drink his medicine. It was really an unfortunate coincidence.

But thankfully the fans were cool about it, Jae apologized there on stage, said that he forgot to drink his medicine this morning, apologized that he made such trouble and messed up the line up and made everyone here concerned. They had fun after that intense situations, like they always do in their concerts.

I sigh in relieve too when I see they wrapping up this performance perfectly. They're indeed professional. I more relieves to the fact that Jae is okay, because I feel sorry and worried when I see him struggling to fight the allergy attack.

But Jae become weird afer that. After the performance, he keep avoiding his gaze from me, not talk to me even once. I wait until they finish listening to their manager who talking about that sudden emergency situation, Jae is the one who got blame for it beside the event's staffs. He said sorry many times, thankfully the meeting done in rather peaceful atmosphere, he promised to take care of himself better in the future.

Which is trigger me, because I feel that it's me who has responsibility to take care of him better, he slept at my place last night, we were together all day today, I should be the one who reminded him to take his medicine.

But I just sit at the corner of the room feeling out of place, realized that maybe this is what they're talking about before the incident happened, that they will never have such a perfect day for them. If things somehow going smooth, there will be something bad to ruin it. This is it, right?

And if my feeling about useless girlfriend already upsetting me, now Jae avoidance to talk to me is upsetting me even more. Oh my god, why though?

"Jae..."

"I'm sorry, but I'll go with them. You can go home alone, right?" He said while getting his stuffs inside his bag.

What?

Of course I can go home alone, I'm a grown up, but that's not what we agreed on today. Why? I want to ask him why, but my ego is bigger so I just agreeing him, "Okay, then."

I don't like this idea, though. I was worried so much when I saw that happened to him, and this feeling of uselessness is so upsetting, and I want to talk to him. To say sorry or anything, cheer him up or anything. He looks more upset and avoiding my gaze. He don't even want to talk to me. Is it because of me? Is he blaming it on me? What happen?

He puts his guitar bag on his shoulder, nod at me once before leaving me, walking out of the room just like that. Well, that's annoying, and hurt my feelings.

"He's ashamed of himself." Young. K said.

"Oh, really? Why?"

"Because you just saw one of his weak and uncool side." Sungjin explained.

"Not because he's upset to me?"

"Upset to you? Of course not, why he upset to you?"

"Because I forgot to remind him to take the medicine? I don't know, what's wrong with him?"

"No, it's not like that. I guess..." Sungjin turn his head to Young. K.

"Of course. It's because he ashamed of himself." Young. K said it very confidently.

"I guess so, Jae hyung isn't the type to blame something on someone. He's the type of person who understand that there's things in this world that can't be helped. That situation too, is something that can't be helped. No one to blame, it's all the parties' omission. Blame it all on someone is just a useless act." Wonpil explain it slowly to make me understand, like I'm some kind of 5.

"But nuna, don't take it personally, I think he just need some time alone to restore his confidence." Dowoon assured me.

"Don't push him, he'll come to you when his feelings got better." Young. K once again assured me, "He's an American after all. His pride is big." He smile to me, ready to take his bag contain a bass on his soulder.

But I thought he want me to see those weaknesses and uncool sides of him, though? Wasn't that what he said when he persuaded me to date him back then? Is he really feel ashamed of himself like Young. K said? Really?

-

> **-Choi Yena's PoV-**

"Unnie?" I asked but she's not respon, still staring at her phone with those same annoyed face.

"Hello?!" I nearly scream to her.

"What?"

Finally.

I sigh while JB oppa laugh beside me. "We're done. Don't you want to go home and get rest?"

"Oh, right. Okay." But she's not moving from her position, though. Instead back to looking up her phone.

I pull my hair and glance at JB oppa who laugh harder.

"What happened, unnie? Is there something wrong that you keep looking at your phone like that?"

She sigh then, close her eyes for full second before upsetly answer my question, "Park Jaehyung still not reply my chats! Why?!"

"He's in New York, though?" JB responed.

"I know, but that's not an excuse, there's internet in New York, for god's sake?! Is he still mad at me? Why he mad at me though?!"

"Oookay, this is not respon I intended to hear." I mumbling alone.

"Did you two fight?" JB asked.

"I don't know."

Long silence.

"Want me to call him?"

"He might be busy, that's why I hold myself to call him. And his members said he will come to me after his feelings got better, but when?"

"Wait, this is still about that allergy attack?" Yena asked.

"Yes!" She screams annoyed.

"And you still not call him yet? It's been a week!"

"That's my point! It's been a week and he's not even reply my chat!" She exploded.

"What allergy attack?" JB asked to me and I told him the summary of the incident.

"So you took Young. K's sunbaenim's words instead of call him first."

"Yes." She nodded her head to me.

"I'll call one of the member. Let's call Wonpil." JB oppa touch his phone here and there. We heard a dial tone as he loudspeaker the call.

"Oh, Jaebum, what's up?"

"How are you, Wonpil? How's New York?"

"Good, New York's good. I eat humberger everyday."

JB laugh, "You guys must be so busy, there are many good restaurants, though. What are you doing right now anyway?"

"It's midnight here, you know? We're ready to sleep."

"Oh, right, uhm... I'm sorry."

"But Jae right here is still turning the light on and humming some melodies and record it."

"He's fine then." Yena unnie said suddenly.

"Who's that?"

"Don't tell Jae, it's me, Yena. He's fine, right?"

"Of course..." Now he answer rather confuse, and cautious too.

"Is he have his phone with him?"

"Yes, he use it to record his humming, why?"

"I hate him!"

Me and JB laugh hearing that tone of her.

"Is he still not call you?"

"He's not even read my chat."

There's some chaotic sounds before we hear a water running in the background of Wonpil's voice.

"I just move to the toilet. Listen, he's fine. To the point that we thought he already reconciled with you. But he didn't call you?"

"Not even once this whole week."

"But his expression's fine though?"

"I hate him, really. He might don't want to see me anymore, or hear my voice. I don't know. I'm upset."

"What about you call him first? See what will happen?"

"But you guys said he'll come to me after his feelings got better!"

"He did look better now. Why he's still not calling you, though?" Wonpil asking himself.

But Yena unnie right here is look more upset upon hearing that fact.

"Am I the only one who concerned about this? Am I a fool?" She said more to herself too.

"Unnie, relax. You shouldn't make conclusion when you're upset. Now, take a deep breath."

"Ah, I don't know, I hate him. I won't do anything until he talk to me first, I swear." She press the red button and the call just ended like that.

I agape my mouth because I never see this side of her. It's new, somehow scary, but it's rather cute despite of her serious personality that I always see from her.

"So this is how a couple fight." I stated and turn myself to JB oppa beside me.

"It looks scary, though. Is she Yena nuna we know? Really? Because Yena nuna that I know is very strict and the most rational woman I've ever seen. She even threatened me once! What happened to her?"

"Let's just go home, Yena. I'm tired."

"Are you sure? Are you sure you can drive in anger like that?" JB asked worry.

"I'm fine."

"You clearly not, unnie."

She take a deep breath a couple times, "I'm fine, really. Let's go."

-

  
**-Jae's PoV-**

"Jae hyung, are you okay?" Wonpil asked me suddenly, just before I go completely to a dreamland.

"What do you mean?"

He sigh, "I can't stand it, so I will just say it. JB called me like an hour ago, and your girl was there with him along with the other Yena, and she sounds upset. So much."

I close my eyes, trying to not hear anything about her. I survived this week fortunately, I controlled my expressions perfectly for the camera and fans, but now what? Wonpil said she's upset?

Of course she will upset, about me and my weaknesses. She saw the real me, just a weak boy with so many allergies who need to depend on medicines everyday to live a day. How pathetic. I try to covered that part as long as I could, but then it just happened. Without me even sensed it. Am I that unlucky?

"She said you never call her since that incident. I thought you two reconciled already. Well, all members thought that too. But no?"

"No." I said still with my eyes close.

"Why? You mad at her or what?"

"Mad at her? Of course not, I mad at myself. At my weak and ugly self."

"Hm, I try to see the problem here. Funny, you two. Really."

"What do you mean?"

But Wonpil is not answer so I turn myself to laying facing him who is laying on the other bed across this room.

"What do you know?" I asked again.

"I know nothing, but I clearly sense something. I'll give you advice, hyung." He look at me, "Just call her."

"And what should I say?"

"It's just insecurities taking over you. It's just your imagination that say she hate that weak side of yours. Only your assumption. Every assumptions and judgements need to be executed, to be proven if it's true or not. You have your assumption about her regarding that incident, she has too, based on our conversation on the phone just then, now it's time to do something to prove if that assumption is true. How? Ask. Talk."

This is what fans might not know about Wonpil. Our fans come to think that I'm a deep thinker from my twees, but the truth is, it's not only me. Everyone in the group is like this, in some special time. They think something deeper than me, Sungjin even has a deeper emotions too, a Korean sentiment Brian keep talking about that not many people has.

"Should I call her now?"

"Sure. Not a problem there in Korea."

I grab my phone and turn myself to the opposite way again, not going to let Wonpil see my face when I talk to her.

I unlock my phone and found her chat, it's new. Sent about 20 minutes ago. I always read her chat, but I ignored them this past week, simply because I feel undeserved. Now I starting to regret it.

Is she worried?

I read the new chat from her that said: I found this interesting article, I know you're busy with your schedule, but Jae, read this if you have time.

It's a psychology article, written by a psychologist, about how mind-reading is dangerous. I smile and start to read it, sentences by sentences. It's pretty much similar with what Wonpil just told me, it's about how reading people's mind shouldn't be your reason to take action. Mind-reading leads to assumption, guess, and self-judgement, and it's normal to have those kind of things, but to make those a reason for us to decides something, it's not good. We should following up that assumption first, as Wonpil said, to see if our guesses are right. And, once again as Wonpil said, it can only done by asking. 'I perceive you upset because I did that, is it true?' that is the important question for healthy relationship. It will clear up some blurry things and is the best input to get a better communication with our partner. According to that article.

I close my eyes and sighing deep. Wonpil was right. Damn, I shouldn't be ignoring her this past week. I was so stupid. I close the article and dial her number right away.

"You're alive!" She sounds upset, oh my god Wonpil was right again.

"Just finish reading the article. Can we talk?"

"Can you wait for like... 15 minutes? I'm driving."

"Oh, okay. Call you back in 15 minutes. Drive carefully, okay?"

No respon for like 3 seconds.

"Sure, yeah. 15 minutes."

We hung up the phone, my heart beat faster, though? It's been a whole week without hearing her voice, and wow I miss it. I miss hearing her voice and her breathing pace on the phone.

I miss all of her whole existence in particular.

-

"You're not driving, though." Yena said after done drinking her water right when I just hung up Jae's call.

We ended up having lunch on our agency's practice room instead of going home.

"I still upset, okay?"

"Woah, unnie, you are my role model, really." She's laughing.

We clean up all the food's wrappings so that she can continue use this practice room. Her debut song isn't decided yet, but she did practice everyday, sometimes practicing IZONE's past choreography, sometimes with other idol's song, sometimes she just dance randomly according her mood with pop American song. Just to maintain her muscles and body lines good until she learn new choregraphy later.

But that need to wait for awhile apparently, because she should promote her song with JB first and focus on it. I hope it will be fruity later with them winning the award.

I left her alone then, to be able to talk with Jae in private. What should I say though? What he want to talk about? Did he miss me after not contacting each other at all this past week? He won't suddenly stop this dating thing, right?

I decided to be the one who's going to ask him first. Just like that psychology article advice, I will confirming about my assumptions first, so I sit in one of the empty meeting room, staring at my phone on the table. What time is there in New York? Midnight? Wonpil said he tried to sleep like an hour ago, it must be so late already. He won't end up sleeping while waiting for 15 minutes, right?

Wait.

Why am I have this much questions, though? Since when? I'm not a high schooler anymore, geez. That thought come along with a deep sigh.

I smile when my phone finally vibrating right 15 minutes since his last call, his name displayed on the screen.

"Arrived at your destination?" He asked after I greet him hello.

"Yes."

"Where?"

"Company."

Silence for a full second, let's start, Jae.

"I've read the article, and realized... that... I shouldn't be drawning at my assumptions and thoughts alone."

"You should following up if all of your perceives are true."

"Right."

"Can I do that first?" I asked.

"Okay Yena, sure."

I miss how he say my name in soft tone like that.

"I feel like you avoiding me this past week, right afer the incident. Is that true?"

"Yes, it's true."

"Because I didn't took care of you by reminded you to take your meds?"

Silence.

"What?!" His tone got a little higher, "No! Of course not!"

"You're not mad at me?"

"Why would I mad at you? Is that your perceive? You thought I didn't call you this whole week because I'm mad at you?"

"Well, that's what you're implying that day. Kind of..."

"Of course not, Yena."

"You didn't talk to me after the incident, Jae." I'm whining, sounds sad.

"Oh my god, no. It wasn't because I'm mad at you. For god's sake why would I mad at you? It was clearly my fault. You don't even know that I should take my meds, why you thought you're the one I blame? No, I'm the one to blame, Yena."

"Then, why you didn't talk to me?" I sigh and whining even more, "Don't you know that I was worried? So much? You're not even reply my chats, I feel bad, you know?"

"Oh my god, I'm sorry, I'm so stupid. You were worried?"

"Of course, aish!" I nearly cursed but it makes him laughing.

At least I feel sure now that he's fine. He's fine and healthy right now.

"Listen, Yena. It's all my fault. You were right, every assumptions need a follow up. So here's mine. I felt so vulnerable that day, because that incident happened when I'm not ready yet to show you, so I thought you'll think of me as an ugly person."

"You were indeed ugly that day."

"Damn."

I laugh because he know it's a joke, the honest one.

He laugh too, "Wow, never thought you are this straightforward."

I giggle beacuse of that statement. I miss him so much, strange. "But, so what if you ugly?"

A silence.

"Really?" He asked but then continue confessing his assumption without give me a chance to assured him about that fact. "The point is, I assuming that you don't want to see me anymore after you saw that weakness and uncool side of me. That's not true, isn't it?"

"You're so childish."

"I am."

Silence.

"It's my insecurity, Yena. I've been kind of... bullied in the past because of that, and... since then I try so hard to cover that fact, cover how ugly I am when that thing happened. I try to not showing it to anyone, and the most important person I don't want it to be seen is you. Since you agreed to doing this with me, I want you to only see my cool sides."

"But you asked me back then, if I want to see that weakness and uncool side of you..."

"That's just me bluffing and being overconfident." He let a helpless laugh, "I am that weak, and of course I don't want you to see that. I have pride as a man, and that day, suddenly I felt like my pride's gone, my confident's break. I was so ashamed of myself, and my mood suddenly ruined, I want to be alone so bad so I left you just like that."

"And drawned in despair alone a whole week." I'm upset again of that fact, "Thank god you have your fans to cheer you up."

I feel him smiling though?

"Yeah, right. They help me. The concert was lit as always."

I smile, "Fortunately."

Another silence, but I brave myself to say this crazy words. "I miss you."

He respon after some time, "My heart beats faster hearing that, say it again."

"Ah, that was a mistake." I'm smiling.

"Ah, too bad. Because I miss you the same."

I'm smiling so wide, I wish I'm in my room alone right now so I can lay on my bed savoring this feeling of happiness and relieved to the fullest.

"Yena?"

"Hm? I'm here."

"I wish you were here, though."

I think my cheeks are blushing right now.

"So we're cool, right?"

"Only if you promise for not keeping your assumptions alone anymore."

He let a little laugh slip, "Okay, I promise I'll talk about it, and won't wondering alone."

"And Jae?"

"Yes?"

"I'm okay with your weaknesses or uncool sides or whatever. We all have that kind of thing, you know. You'll learn about that thing in me too, sooner or later. So let's we just... try to coolly let it show to one another and talk about it."

"Yeah, talk it out. That's the keyword, right?"

"Right."

I look at my watch on my wrist, "What time is it there?"

"Late."

"Rest, then."

"I still can talk for another hour."

"Nooo, Yena, please hung up!" I hear Wonpil's voice helplessly.

"You still not sleep yet?"

"How can I sleep if you talk loud like that?"

"Am I loud?"

"I heard everything! Oh my god, it was so cheesy I want to throw up."

Now I listening to Jae and Wonpil's conversation while Wonpil is mostly upset and annoyed of Jae's sweet tone.

"Gotta go, Wonpil's upset. See you next week, Yena. Love you."

Then he hung up.

Left me freeze and blank. I still hear the monotone sound from my phone that still in my ear. My heart beats faster, more and more than before.

Did he just said 'love you'? Really?

Wow, fascinating. It's been a long time since the last time I heard that words again, adressed to me directly.

My goodness, is he mean it?  
-


	13. Chapter 13

"I want girl crush concept for my solo debut, Sajangnim." Yena said determined.

I smile hearing that.

"A chic, smart, and honest image. I want that concept, and I want a fierce rap part that will have an impact to the overall song. Any theme is okay, love, dream, or disappointment, it's okay as long as it can show as closest as my true self. I don't really like cute song, but I'm okay with cheer up and uplifting song."

Sajangnim smiles finally, "Welcome back, Choi Yena. Long time no see."

We all laugh.

"I kind of get about your taste, and I have some songs already sent to me by some composers. Let's meet again next week to give it a proper listen and decides, okay? So, for the debut later, how about release it as a mini album instead of just one song?"

"Oh, we can do that? Of course I like that idea, Sajangnim."

"How about a featuring with other singer, too?" I give an idea. "So the mini album can consist of her title, one song featuring, and her own composed song."

"You compose a song?"

"Actually I get help from JB oppa, so I guess we should give the credit to him too."

"Okay, let's listen that song next week as well and decide everything then. And actually there's someone I keep thinking to do featuring with her. How about duet with a female powerful idol?"

"The hottest recent one?" I look at him to confirm the one I'm thinking in my head right now.

"Yes, just like who you think it is."

"Who is it?" Yena asked me, still can't get any idea.

"The alumni of that survival program too, just like you."

"Chungha Sunbaenim?!"

Sajangnim nodded his head.

"Oh my god, really? Is there a possibility? It would be so cool, though?" Yena's eyes sparkling in hope.

"I'll give it a chance, I put big efforts to approach her team."

"Okay, give me an update before our next meeting." Sajangnim said to me. "And about your couple song... should we put it in too?"

"I should ask JB oppa first for that."

"Okay, I'm hoping a good news about that next week too."

I write another note in my notebook. I sense that I'll be so busy the moment her title song got selected next week, because her debut preparations will start then. Everything gonna be much more chaotic than IZONE's comeback because Yena will be double-nervous and I'm going to be a perfectionist human being everyone will hate.

I'm nervous too, just like her.

So before all of that really happening to me, I treat myself a free day before jumping fully to the battlefield. I spent my free day by pleasing myself as best as I could, I eat food I've been craving all this time but can't eat it with Yena because of her diet, I gave myself a massage at a nice place, I did a really pretty job to my hair too at the hair shop, made a nice wavy just like the idols I often see in broadcast station. I did nail art, shopping some nice stuffs, and visited my favorite bookstore. It was such a long time since the last time I came here, and it feels so good. Like I met an old friend and got to talk for hours telling each other's stories about life we've both missing.

I wandering for hours here, bought some books that get my interest eventhough I don't really know when I will read it. But it's okay, I'm happy doing it. I will read it, no matter when.

My time here is up apparently when Jae call me after he done his schedule today. It's 9PM, oh my god time surely flies so fast here in this place.

"Done with self-treatment to recharge your energy for the next battle?"

"I just finish paid my books."

"You bought books? Oh wow, when will you read them?"

"Someday, I'm sure I'll read it someday."

"Let me read it first, then."

"Sure."

"And, I'm on my way there, let's watch something together. Let's date like a real couple hanging out on Friday night."

"But it's Tuesday."

"Just think it's Friday."

"But, is it okay? I mean, go outside like that?"

"I'm not that popular, you know. I rarely recognized by people."

"Okay, but if there's someone recognize you then screaming your name then it attracts more people and in the end they all recognize you and walking closer to you and take pictures of you here and there and everything just become chaos, what will you do?" I smile, take an escalator to the theatre.

"I'll run to the toilet right away, and wait until the apocalypse end."

I laugh, "Okay, and just for you to know, I'll still get inside the cinema in the middle of that apocalypse."

"I'll meet you inside, then. Like that famous drama scene..."

"My goodness." I laugh helplessly. "I'm at theatre lobby by the way, when will you come? What should we watch?" I said while looking up the movie schedule.

"Pick any movie you want to watch."

"Can you make it here in 15 minutes? There's a movie that gets my interest, start in 15 minutes."

"Sure."

"Great, okay see you in 15 minutes."

"Can we just keep talking for that 15 minutes?"

"I'm busy ordering tickets. My hands will busy, I'm holding books I just bought in one hand and a phone in my other hand. How should I..."

He cut my words, "Okay, roger that, Yena. See you in 15 minutes. Happy?"

I laugh, "Can't wait to see you."

"Me too, it's been a damn two weeks!"

"Are you alone in the car?"

"Not really, Wonpil glaring at me already. Okay, bye Sweety. See you very soon."

Then he hung up, just like that. Just like always, typical of him. I sigh annoyed at the word 'Sweety', I told him already I don't like and don't need a nickname. 

I look at my watch again. He's 10 minutes late and not answering my phone. What happen to him though? Is there a sudden schedule? Why not tell me or pick up his phone, my goodness. Should I just get inside? For how long should I wait without even able to call him like this?

I sigh for like 5 times already, I look at my phone, ready to type another chat for him, to tell him I'll go inside first, when I feel someone coming to me. I lift up my head and see him, running with hoodie covering his head. His hair nearly get into his eyes and it's moving along with his movements.

"Why are you running and out of breath?"

"Let's go inside first." He take my hand right away and we go inside the theatre that just right there in front of us, shooting an apologetic smile to the staff waiting outside to tear our tickets.

"Where?" He asked while guide me walking up to our seats.

"C-15 and 16."

We walking together in the dark, my hands still on his, and his breathing is heard more clearly right now. He is indeed out of breath, what happened?

"You're sweating, what happened?" I said after we both sit.

"That apocalypse you talked about..." He replied in the middle of trying to steadying his breathing.

Someone shushing him because his breathing apparently too loud for this quiet theatre. I laugh without sound and give him a bottle of water.

"But you survived." I whispered, now sitting more comfortable, looking at the big screen.

"Of course. Just like I told you."

"Oh, so you really hiding in the toilet before running here?"

More people shushed us, with more annoying tone.

Jae now laughing without sound too, but then he reach out his phone, his thumbs moving on it right away, fast. His perfume suddenly invade my nose, I realize he just send me a chat when my phone vibrating not long after he turn his head to me.

_Jae: I waited for like 10 minutes, went out, walked fast, but then I heard a group chatting while scanning me, so I ran hard until I saw you. Pretty much a work out._

_Me: you've worked hard :) but can't you at least tell me when you were hiding in toilet? I was kind of pissed off because I couldn't reach you at all._

"How can I think about..."

"Shhhhh!!!"

Jae's words now being cut by people, their warning become more harsh, so he can't help but type another chat to me.

_Jae: my mind was kind of blank, I couldn't think of anything at all, because the last time I hang out, there were no one recognized me. That's why I didn't bring my masker with me, I thought people still can't recognize me, but woah. Is DAY6 popular these days?!_

_Me: my boyfriend is popular indeed_

I glance at him who turn his head again to me. It's dark but why I feel like I see he is smiling right now? I smell his perfume again, I swear I'll get hypnotized by the end of the movie.

_Jae: your boyfriend is such a hottie these days 😎😎_

"Emoticons, really?" I whispered.

"I love emoticons."

"You are not."

"I am, recently."

_Jae: 😘😘❤💮💮💮😍😍😍_

"Let's focus on the movie." I whispered again and put my phone back to my hand bag.

He do the same, put his phone back to his jeans' pocket then sit more comfortable, kind of lean to me to whisper again, "Sorry I'm late. You must be lonely and upset waiting alone."

"I was worry because you didn't pick up your phone."

"Sorry, I was busy hiding. Any kind of sound can ruined the mission." He lean closer, "But you worry too much."

I turn my face and realize how close his face to me now, "Are we not going to watch the movie?"

He smile, "Sorry, you're more interesting than the movie." He back off a little.

Again, his perfume did it again. Makes me want to throw myself to him and just curl up in his embrace, let his scent invaded my nose completely.

This is very unusual.

-

  
**-Jae's PoV-**

Crazy.

We ended up in a nightclub and everything is crazy.

Let me tell you one by one. First of all, this place alone is crazy, the blue, green, red, and white lights blinking rapidly piercing the dark room. It's crazily dizzying, in a good way. The music is loud and lit. The synth is just like come from out of this world, the person behind that synth is dope, obviously. Wonpil should learn lot of things from him. It makes people jumping crazily, shamelessly, carelessly. And we just can't help it, because it's already going out of our own control. The moment that guy touch his synth instrument, we all dancing and jumping to it like there's no tomorrow. The crowd is crazy, everyone on the dance floor never stop moving their body, no stop, not even once.

But the craziest thing about this moment is her. The way she moves herself along with the music, one time she jumping up and down with a hand in the air, another time she just swaying her hips in a teasing way. Probably teasing me. Well, she should be.

The place is hot, and just feels hotter by minutes because of her. Is she drunk already? I can't drink if she drink because I'll be driving her home after this, so yeah. I'm looking at her with the most sober stance of my self, and I don't know if I can still do this in another minutes because she's too hot. I need something to help me handle it.

And did I mention she's exceptionally pretty today? I mean, she is pretty everyday, but tonight... she feels different. Her hair different, her outfit, shoes, purse, it's opposite from her everyday look. She put on some make up, and she doing it good.

She smile to me when the music slowly become more relax to give people time to breath, to slow dance as a rehat. And god damn her smile is like... inviting me to the most dangerous place on earth.

"How is it? Your first clubbing experience?" She smiling that smile again, her eyes twinkling I don't know if it because she's tipsy or what.

"I'm not sure whether I like this because this is my first and the place is suit my style with the music and the crowd that also suit my style, or simply because of the fact that I experiencing this with you." I stare into her.

We standing so close while still swaying our bodies matching it with the nice slow tempo of the music. My hands grip her waist without me knowing, to keep her close to mine. Or make her closer, I actually not really sure of that.

Good lord, I'm scared of where is this night will going to end. But this is surely an exciting fear.

We're still staring into each other when her hands lean on my chest, somehow shifting closer so I can hug her for more. Her smile and her tilted head is inviting and I take it without further do, kissing her so deep with all my heart.

Dear god she taste so delicious it makes me grip her tighter. She is now circling her hands around my neck, touching my skin on purpose, sending electricity to my whole body.

"It's definitely because of me." She whisper on my mouth before give me another sensual kiss.

Am I grinding just then?

She moans in the kisses and grip the back of my head, and that's my cue. I can't handle this here.

So I force myself to pull off of the kiss when tue truth is I don't want everything to end, saying out of breath, "Let's get out of here." And without waiting for her reply I take one of her hand from my neck, hold it then lead the way out of this place.

The driveway feels so long, dear lord. I growl when we stopped by another red light. I feel a touch on my hand that grip the gear. She just take my thumb and covered it with her hand to not disturb other fingers that still gripping the gear.

I look at her when she say, "Relax."

Then I move my fingers on the gear to take hers, to intertwining our fingers, it fits so perfectly, her hand under mine so that I still kind of grip the gear. "How could you expect me to relax at this rate? Hm?"

She giggles. And it just blow my mind away, I drive so fast to her apartment, walking close beside her, hand in hand until we're inside her house.

The kissing continue with more urgency. Heavy breathing. Moaning. Gasping. Stumbling to find a way to her bedroom. Dark. Her scent feeling me, and it smells really good. Intoxicating. Dizzying.

It all just like magic. She's ethereal, driving me crazy and out of breath.

"Did I say that you look so handosme today? I mean this denim jacket really looks good on you." She said while kissing my neck.

We're on her bed already, sitting close to each other. "But it needs to go off..." I pull of my hands from her to take off my jacket. Damn it's so hot right here.

She sit on her knees covering my thighs so she can kiss me dominantly by gripping my face with both of her hands, makes me go more insane, so I grip her waist right away after I throw my jacket accross the room.

More moaning, more heavy breathing. I lower her so that she sit on my lap with her legs circling my waist. I touch her thighs very carefully. This is insane.

I don't think I can handle this, I need her affirmation to go further. All out. Until the very end.

"You're not drunk." I said while she kissing my neck again. I think I need something like high colar top tomorrow.

"Just a little bit tipsy." She move her head and look at me, staring at me so tenderly like she pleading me with those eyes I could never escape from. "Don't break the spell." She whisper close in my mouth.

I blinking and give her a look of 'are you sure?'

"Jae please, don't break the spell." She say it on my mouth and kiss me again.

That's my affirmation.

"I'm not planning to stop."

"Hm, please don't."

"As long as your consent still here."

"I'm not drunk, I'm sober enough to think that I want this." She give a deep smooch before continue saying, "I want you. Can I have you?"

"All you want, Yena. You can have me however you want."

It become hotter then, literally in a good way.

-

  
"Invite Chungha to the show is a piece of cake, but..." Boreum unnie take a breath first, "I'm the one who arranged this meeting today, I'm the one who has something to say, but how come you just asked me first and not curious at all about what I wanted to say to you?"

"Ah..." I laugh, "Right. I was wondering actually when you suddenly asked to see me, but then the timing was perfect because I just thinking about meeting you to asking for a help, so... I kind of forgot about it, sorry. What do you want to talk about, though?"

She clear her throat, "Before I asked this myself, don't you have something you want to share with me?"

I look at her confuse, "Regarding?"

"Your life."

"My life? What about my life...?" I get more confuse. Can she just straight to the point?

"More accurately, your love life." She smile winningly.

"Ah..." I looking down my head, embarassed.

"Ah...?"

I smile then look at her.

"You're blushing, oh my god. Is he that nice? You like him that much?" She's smiling too.

"But, how did you know?"

Then she sighing deep and take out her phone from her pocket jacket. She touch it several times then give it to me.

I take it confusely, wondering, but when I see what she want to show me, my eyes got bigger. It's us. It's a photo of us, me and Jae. In that club last night, standing really close at the dance floor. The photo is kind of blur and too dark, but with a little editing, I'm sure enough our faces will seen crystal clear.

"Don't surprise now, swipe it to the left."

I look at her in fear, I'm afraid of what will I see next. Where did she get this? Is she received it from someone she know? Or did she captured it herself last night?

I take a deep breath first before finally swipe it to the left as she asked. Another photo of us with another pose, the lighting still bad, fortunately, but it's not that blur this time. This is really a good material to be edited and send to Dispatch. Where did she get this?

I swipe one more time, again and again, until my heartbeat feels like stopping for a second because of what I see. A picture when we were kissing. I swipe some time again and the pictures keep showing us kissing.

"Ugh." Then I cover my face with both of my hands. I'm screwed.

The fact that we had sex last night alone already surreal for me, I keep questioning myself today if last night was really necessary, if that was the right thing to do, if I'm regretting it, if I was just making mistake. Yesterday was crazy in general, from the moment we went to the cinema, his smile and his handsome boyfriend appearance, plus his scent that smell so good that made me suggested a really crazy idea for him to experience his first clubbing with me. That's when the thing started to go wrong, actually. I shouldn't have suggested that idea at all, we should just go home after watched the movie. I completely forgot about who he is last night, when he danced close to me, lost himself, and genuinely enjoyed the night, I really forgot that he's an idol, oh my god. I completely couldn't think straight when his hands grip my waist, smiling to me, and kissed me deep right there on the dance floor in the middle of the crowd. I want to blame the alcohol, but I know it the best, I completely sober last night. A little tipsy but not drunk on alcohol, I was drunk on him, just on his presence alone right there, close to me.

Maybe I indeed regret everything that I did last night. But then when I recall his face that looked at me so endearly on top of me, when I recall his warm hands that touched my every skin, when I recall his kisses and how he moved, how he grinded, his groans in my ear, his careful actions to not hurting me... I don't regret it. It was so good and he was so nice and I don't regret it all. I like him that much, he even tried to keep me awake after it to talk about it, with some jokes he made to eased the awkwardness, and another kisses between the talk, I like that about him. I don't regret it at all.

I'm screwed.

"So I was right about he kept taking glance at you that night, oh my god that night felt so long ago, since when you two in relationship, actually? Wow, I never thought he will really make a move on you because damn, he's an idol, a celebrity! But look! You guys are kissing in public! Without you even telling me about it! I feel forgotten, you know?"

I groaning still with my hands covering my face. "But, where did you get this?" I suddenly look at her who now smiling in excitement.

"I was there, just done talking some business with some people, then I saw you dancing, I thought you were alone but just when I was going to come to you, I saw him, glued himself on you, so I took a pictorial prove." She smiling even wider like the existence of this photos isn't bothering her at all, "So tell me, what level are you guys in right now?" She put both of her hands on the table, lean on it to look at me closer, "Looking at this photos, you two were completely... lost in each other. What happened after this?"

"I'm screwed." I look at her blankly.

"Well, you might be, but you might be not. Just... pray that no one else recognized both of you and did this kind of thing I did."

I biting my lips.

"I really want to hear everything about it, damn, but I have not much time." She sigh and get her phone back, "Listen, this is safe with me, I promise. Just, be careful from now on, you might need to avoid dating in public place for awhile."

"I shouldn't be dating him in the first place, my goodness."

She staring at me dead serious.

"You know, I know you so well, you're not the type of person who do some irrational thing. And dating an idol is obviously irrational."

"I know." I'm hiding my face again with my hands.

"And thinking about the job you doing right now, I'm sure enough you know it so well about the risks of dating an idol. It's indeed an irrational thing to do, but you did it. It's not something I expected you to do, but you did it. So there must be something in him, right? Is he that nice that you decided to do it with him? You like him that much?"

I like him more day by day, I might fall in love with him already at this rate.

But I'm not answer her, just groaning helplessly.

"But unnie, are they really that pathetic in love kind of thing?" I look at her who looks confuse. "Idols, celebrities... are they really so unlucky in this kind of thing? Are they really should not doing it at all?"

"I'm not ready for a serious kind of talk right now, and I have not much time, I think I should back to work already, but let's meet again to talk about this. For now, I tell you one thing, it's not wrong at all. Dating an idol isn't a crime or a wrong thing, you're not doing bad thing, he's not doing bad thing either. Everyone has right to loving and feel loved, really. It's just... a little bit more complicated in this country. So rather than feel wrong about it, just try to be careful, okay? At least remember you both have responsibility to do it carefully, don't be too reckless. I know how you two feel, lovers tend to going crazy about each other when they're in relationship, they ended up do things recklessly with the thought 'as long as we're happy'. But you can't do that, you can't do it like that with him, okay? You both have responsibility to at least keep it lowkey, keep it covered."

Damn it hit me. It just like my mom caught me did bad thing that I shouldn't do.

"Hold yourselves, avoid doing it in public place, really. If you don't want to regret it later."

Her warning really wake me up, and I just staring at her blankly. All Jae's words about only think of happy scenes just disappeared after she blurting out that reality to me.

I'm screwed indeed.

-


	14. Chapter 14

**-Jae's PoV-**

"Whose playlist is this? Why it contain so many love songs like this?" Sungjin asked suddenly. He closed his eyes for awhile but he suddenly open it and asked that unusual question.

"The playlist of a lovebird." Brian answered Sungjin's question with the usual amount of annoyance tone in his voice.

Wonpil point out his finger to the back, to me who sitting right behind him.

"You want to hear another fun fact, Sungjin hyung?" Dowoon join the conversation, "Jae hyung never stop smiling alone too. Since this car moving, he just looking at the sky smiling from ear to ear." He's smiling and smirking, liking that fact and I don't know why.

"Something good must happened to them." Sungjin said still in his laying position, he sit in the middle between Brian and Wonpil but he's the most comfortable among them as he completely laying his head in a relax way.

Brian then humming something about good times while looking at the window, moving his head to the rhythm he creates himself.

"Are you having fun so far, hyung?" Wonpil asked in curiosity and I feel his enviousness towards me and Yena again.

"It's beyond fun. Fun is an underrated word to describe it, it's like..." I pause.

"I'm waiting..." Wonpil said when I still pausing.

"Me too..." Sungjin said, now closing his eyes again.

"Like you don't wish for anything else in life, like your life is finally complete...? Like you finally learned what life is all about and not demands anything more."

"A good phrase." Brian still humming in happy way.

"It's like a rollercoaster, too. Somehow. At first I'm afraid to do it, but after I go all out and just let myself go with it, I feel happy as the wind blows my face, there's an anticipation that goes along with fear when it slowly going up high, and it suddenly feel so intense when I arrived at the peak but in second it change to another feeling of euphoria, a relieved, satisfaction, screaming in happiness, and once again anticipate of what will come next."

Silence.

"What exactly he describing about?" Wonpil mumbled softly, not sure if he allowed to ask that question with Dowoon here listening to all.

"That was so much detail, though?" Sungjin smiling while still closing his eyes, "Ah, now I'm envy you."

"That was too adult, Dowoon are you understand what he just talked about?" Brian laugh a little.

"Not at all, I keep trying to keep up with his explanation, but what is he talking about, though? A rollercoaster? In what part of relationship that similar to rollercoaster, actually?" His lips pouting so much because of his confusion while everyone's laughing at it.

"You'll know once you experience it, Dowoon."

"Oh, so you know what I'm saying?" I asked Wonpil, teasing him.

"Hey, of course I know it."

"Really?" Brian try to get more affirmation.

"Ah, what's with you two?" He now blushing somehow? Smiling and laughing, look like someone who just wrongly accused.

Sungjin laughing without sound but then say, "Kids, doesn't it too much to talk about it in the middle of the day like this?"

"And I think you must careful now, Jae. I saw someone posted about her van, I mean Yena's van, that have been park around some of our shedule locations. This fan account mentioning about the car number that looks familiar to her." Our manager jump in the conversation so casually just like that. "Just the matter of time until she realize it's Choi Yena's van."

"Hyung really have the ability to ruin the happy moment, you know?" Everyone laughing at my words, "They were imagining something just before you brought that up!" The sound of laughing filled up the car, beating the sound of love song that still playing.

"I'm not imagining anything! I am confused!" Dowoon nearly scream and everyone laugh harder.

This is indeed a men's car.

"But I'll be careful from now on." I said after we calm down.

"Just use your own car, then." Brian said looking at the back, at me.

"I will, then. But she really good at driving. One of the reason I like her driving me around is because she is really good at it. She's better than you, hyung!" I shoutout to our driver hyung, who just smiling trying to look innocent.

"But I drive kind of recklessly for us to arrived on time to scheduled locations."

"She drive very well and not late too, she really is much better than you!"

"He's in love, no one can beat a boy with luv~" Brian humming the part of 'boy with luv', the others catch the bait and singing 'oh my my my, oh my my my', a worldwide song by BTS.

"But I think our fans are open minded people, though." Dowoon started voicing out his thoughts, "I sense they will not against the idea of us dating that much, I feel they will support us instead."

"No one knows." Wonpil replied with his eyes watching the street.

"Yeah, no one knows until it really happening, it's best for us to be careful and keep it as lowkey as possible." Sungjin said wisely.

"But the problem with him right now, this hyung looks like someone who won't doing it lowkey at all." Brian laugh a little, "He went to a club with her! A fan spotted them, thank god she's a kind one and only shared his picture alone without Yena's face in it, but that action wasn't lowkey at all." Brian stated a fact.

"That's why I said our fans are kind of open minded about it. She saw them but just shared his picture without her, that fan is considerate and keep his own privacy."

I feel worry by that statement because if that fan is really there at the club until me and Yena left, it means she saw everything. She saw me dancing with her crazily, and kissing her intensely. And it got me thinking what if that fan take pictures of that too, and decided to release all of it suddenly someday?

"If they really thinking about our privacy, they will not share the pictures in the first place."

Everyone's get silence.

"This issue really bring down the mood." Brian scoffing.

"This is something that can't be helped, it's not wrong to say that we gave up our privacy the moment we debut as celebrities, so no need to think about it too much, just accept that fact and go on with life, as long as their presence is still bearable to handle, why mind them so much? Just do what we want to do as long as it's acceptable socially." Sungjin gave us another wise words.

"But the standard of 'socially acceptable' is different between us and the fans, somehow. We acknowledge their standard, of course, but we keep secretly wishing it change to more like our standard."

"What is their standard of 'socially acceptable', though?" Dowoon asked.

"That we are theirs, as long as we still actively promoting as a group, we are theirs. The term of 'theirs' is different for every person, but the most dangerous term is 'we are theirs in every aspects of life'."

"So, what 'socially acceptable' in aspect of love life for them is 'we are their lover'?" Wonpil asked in serious way.

"Not all of them thinking that way, that's for sure." Sungjin answered with another wise tone of him.

"But it's there. That way of thinking always there in every fandom."

"Another thing that can't be helped." I said blankly.

"So because of that standard difference, we have additional responsibilities. I'm not saying that we responsible of the fans' love life by keep ourselves single the whole time, no. Just date however you want, even our company allowing that after 3 years, but we have responsibility to keep it lowkey. It can't be helped either, but at least we should doing it secretly, for not disappointing them. That toxic way of thinking about we are their lover is already built from a long time ago, and it kind of grow in every fandom, it's hard to break that standard, so it can't be helped, we just have to be responsible of that matter."

I scoff, "Funny because Yena said the same thing to me just a couple of hours ago, and I against her thoughts right away, simply because I agree with Dowoon about our fans that are open minded. But after hearing your explanation, now I'm starting to questioning it again."

"She's thinking about the place you're standing." Brian said calmly.

"I told you she is the most rational woman I've ever known." Dowoon give affirmation once again of his past statement about her.

"Yeah, she seems like a good person." Sungjin agreeing this time.

I'm smiling alone hearing that, my head is looking down and my mouth saying things I didn't meant to saying it out loud for them to hear, "I like her so much."

It makes the car completely silent, only the music heard for like a minute before Brian finally speak, "Looks like she likes you so much, too."

"Agree." Dowoon nodded his head, "She was so worried when you had that allergy attack the other day, hyung." Now he facing me, "You were too busy thinking about your ugly self so you didn't see how much she worried of you."

I smile, "We talked about that already, thanks to Wonpil."

"She blame herself, you blame yourself, aigoo." He's shaking his head left and right.

"But I'm still the stupid one who ignored her for a whole week."

"I told you she's a rational woman."

Sungjin laugh at Dowoon's statement, "Stop saying that, we get it already."

"Sorry, but I feel like I'm not appreciate her that much."

"I think the lucky one here is you, hyung. For meeting her and have this nice connection with her and experiencing things that... you want to experienced."

"Yeah, I'm the lucky one, but I might become the source of something bad that can happen later to our band, guys. And I'm sorry in advance for that, but I thank you guys so much that eventhough you know how bad things could happen later, you still allowed me to do this and be cool about it."

Sungjin laughing again, "Since when this conversation become so heartwarming like this..."

"I like all the hyungs so much, really." Dowoon said randomly.

"So random." Brian humming again.

We all suddenly shouting annoyingly as the car bumped once.

"A very nice way to end the talk, hyung!" Sungjin open his eyes, grumbled because he's the one who least expecting that bump as he still close his eyes when that happened.

"I never have this kind of thing when Yena drive me around, I swear!"

"Sorry, I kind of drawn to your serious talk, so..."

"What a bad excuse!" Sungjin can't even buy it.

  
-

I see her smiling wide up there on stage. This is her first award aside of IZONE, and she looks so happy to received it. I never thought this would happen to her when I made her a regular member of weekly variety show, so it feels unexpectedly good. When something good unexpectedly happen, I learned once again that it's the best feeling ever. It surprised me but feels good and happy and relieved. The other casts of the show were cheering them so much too from their seat, clapping while smiling widely to them, sometimes shouting out Yena and JB's name along with the show name they all did every weekend. Now that the show has won a Couple of the Year Award, I sense Yena and JB's screen time will increase and become one of the main input of the show. I wish the show will live long with all those casts.

My happiness turn into proud when I see their performance. Yes, the couple song Yena and JB composed has hit another milestone, it unexpectedly loved by many people too as it's melody really suit this season. It's spring, the season of love, the season of blooming relationship as beautiful as blooming flowers. And their dance moves just resembling that feeling just right, their smiles, their voices too, everything about this performance is just fit the season of love.

At this rate, I don't really care anymore if they're really in real relationship already. I'm just so happy to see them that happy on stage, and fans' happy reaction is just make me happy too. I hope this will bring a good path for Yena to debut as a soloist later.

She'll start practicing the debut song and the choreography right after this night, it will be another trainee days for her. And I'll be busy looking up for her wardrobe, costumes, make up, and everything to matching it up with the concept. Her debut will be powerful, kind of opposite from her image in IZONE, but I believe she can pull out the concept the best, because this is what she want to do. She chose the song herself, and will be take part too in the choreography.

I love to see how she involve in every work she does because it keep her authenticity. I hope it help her to not lose herself too much in this environment.

But opposite from every happy expressions that I saw from her in that award ceremony, she's not talking that much on the way home. She's rather calm and not bragging too much about her winning and performance and every good things that will happen to her soon. Unexpected, because I thought she's going to talk about it all night.

"Are you okay?" I asked finally because now I kind of worry.

She smiles a soft smile, "I feel so great, never this happy in my life."

"Really? But aren't you too calm for someone who just received an award and wrapped up a spectacular performance on stage?"

"I just... it's like a dream, unnie. And I still can't believe this kind of night is happening to me. It's unexpected, so it kind of makes me taken aback. I'm actually savoring all the feelings right now, I don't want this to end that soon."

Silence.

"But it will end. Everything must come to an end, right?" She asked randomly and I don't really get what she means.

"You still have many chapters left before it really end, Yena. What do you mean by that?"

"Right? This is still not the end, right?"

"Of course not, another battle will come to you very soon. Are you forget about your solo debut?"

She's smiling again, "I need to work hard again! Just like those old trainee days!"

"Right, keep your spirit up. Everything just starting now."

"Thank you for everything, unnie. You even got Chungha sunbaenim to do featuring with me, I really can't thank you enough for that, really."

"If you that thankful, repay that with work harder then."

"Oh, I will. Just you wait and see. I'll become a new sensation just after making my debut."

I smile, "And about JB..."

"I should start to maintain our closeness now that the award thing has passed, right?"

"I like how you understand many things like a mature person. It might be kind of hard for both of you, but time will come when you two will finally break free from this restrains."

"We're just friends, unnie. What are you saying?" She laugh.

"Really?" I take a glance at her. "I thought you two were dating secretly from me already."

She laugh harder, "I want to, but no. Like you said, a time will come for us. We're satisfied for what we did this whole time, it was a good experienced and we created a precious moments for each other, but really, when the time is right, we'll figure out something again and continue everything that we left off."

"He's a good person."

"Yeah, right. He listen to me well." She laugh.

"It will be worth it." I said that as the car stop in the basement of her apartment.

"Sure."

We gather her things and I help her carrying it to her home.

"I'll leave the car here." I said nonchalantly. Well, I try to sounds nonchalant.

"Why? How you get home then?"

"I'll ride another... car. And take bus or taxi tomorrow to come here. I'll arrive on time as usual."

"What another car...?" She's smiling. "It's obvious that you'll meet Jae sunbae after this! I saw how you two took a glance and throwing smiles to each other tonight!"

I just smiling, "It's obvious?"

"Oh, please." We get off of the elevator, walking through the corridor before she press the buttons of her door password.

I put her stuff carefully on the floor, except the trophy of course, I put it on her desk carefully. JB casually let her have it, so here it is.

"So Jae sunbae is coming here or what?"

I check my phone before saying, "Actually, he waits in the lobby already. Let me order something for you to eat first, I feel bad to left you in hunger like this."

"Oh please, unnie. I can order food myself. Just go down and meet him already, he's waiting, he must be hungry too."

"You sure?"

But then she turn me around and pushing my back forcing me to walking out the door.

"Wait, let me give you a hug first." I spin myself to face her and hug her right away without giving her time to protest.

"What is this for?" She's laughing.

"You've worked hard today." I caress her back for awhile and she got soft because of that.

"Aww unnie have worked hard too. Let's keep work harder, unnie."

"I know, yes, of course, Yena." We separated from each other, "See you tomorrow."

"Have fun tonight." She give me her most wide smile to escort my leaving.

I hear a honk the moment I step out of Yena's apartment building. I do a light little run to the car that parking in the corner of parking lot and get inside so fast with a wide smile on my face.

"You looks extremely happy!" Jae said with a happy tone too.

"Of course! Yena won the award and got to performed the song, my boyfriend's band got the chance to performed too at the award show. Is this your second times? Third times?"

"Second times we performed our own song for award show, yes." He's smiling happily too.

"And now my boyfriend's here looking so good and happy and..." I look at him while he's smiling and waiting for me to complete the sentence. "Don't you think you look too boyfriend tonight?"

"Tonight's concept! A band's member pick up his girlfriend after an amazing gigs."

I laugh, in happy kind of mode, "And you pulled off the concept perfectly. I mean, this is the first time I see you behind the wheel. Wow."

He smile, "Where to go, Princess?"

"Let's just go straight to my home and order something to eat."

"Ah, why? Let's go around, I'll drive though."

"Have you forget what Sungjin told you about being responsible?"

"It's late, there will be not much people around. If there's people, they must be drunk already and won't have consent about my presence."

I'm smiling at his excuses, "Where do you want to go, though? Do you have somewhere you want to visit at this late?"

"Let's go to Han River." He move up his eyebrows, "There's some kind of food festival around Han River today, let's eat something there."

"It will full with people then, Jae." What is he thinking really? Is he just give up to be responsible?

"I'll use masker, we'll be fine, really."

I stare at him.

"Just come first, we can go home if you not feeling good."

There's something on him that makes me keep doing things that I shouldn't do. My sanity screaming that it's not a good idea. Even if I'm not working as an idol's manager right now, my old self will think this is a stupid idea for idol who should be careful with privacy. If I see some dating news at this kind of place, my old self surely will blame the mistake on the idol and his partner, not on fans that spotted them or news site that caught them. Because it indeed the idol's fault, or his partner, for being so reckless to be spotted dating at such public place.

"Come on, I've been wanting to go to place like this, just like any normal human being, enjoying the food festival like an urban."

And here I am become the stupid partner that agreed to hang around a public place with my idol boyfriend once again.

Jae keep his words to use masker and we walking hand in hand checking out some food stalls while I busy talking on the phone most of the time to make progress at many things about Yena's debut. Then he intertwined our fingers so casually while we're waiting our food being cooked in front of the stall, his eyes on the chef behind the stove, give all his attention fully to the man working on the food.

I grip his fingers tighter and move my thumb on his skin because now I feel bad. I hung up the phone and put it inside my pocket and look at him, "I'm sorry."

He blink, "What?"

"Are you mad?"

"Of you who keep talking on the phone while I'm here standing close to you watching that chef cook our food like it some kind of interesting show to see? Not really."

He is mad, oh my god. "I'm sorry, really. I didn't realized the time..." He still use his masker so I'm not really sure about his expression right now, but he looks mad and disappointed.

Our food served just in the right timing, Jae is not reply my words and take the food instead, saying thank you to the chef and walking to the nearest empty table, still with our hands intertwined to each other. He put the food first, we sit facing each other and our hands separated naturally because of that and somehow I feel that I lost him and it's not a good feeling. The truth is, it's the worst, and my heart feels like drop down from its place.

He pull off his masker and reach out his hand to me, "Give me your phone."

Oh my god he really pissed off.

I'm whining a little while give him my phone, "I'm sorry, really..."

He touch the screen several times before place it on his side, "Now eat and give your attention fully at me."

"It's for Yena's debut."

"I know, but you have to eat. If I'm not do this you will still on the phone and let the food cool down just like last time. Now please eat." He take his chopstick and start stirring the udon.

I put both of my hands on the table, lean myself to him and open my mouth asking him to feed me, "Aaaa~"

He scoffing, "Really?" He smile, finally, and I just nodded my head fast, "Just come here then." He point out to his side with his chin.

And I move right away to him who now blowing up the udon then feed me.

"How is it?"

"Delicious, try it." I said while chewing.

He give me the chopstick and I smile when the truth is I want to laugh but I still busy chewing my food. I nodded my head before take the chopstick and start to gather many udon to it. I blow it too after I gulp down then give it to him. He kind of lift down his head to take the udon and slurp it eagerly.

"Keep going, keep going." I said softly to him who keep slurping it down without a break with the help of chopstick in my hand, "Oh, you eat many of it."

He nodded his head while chewing it, agree that it's delicious. I take another bite myself before feed him another bite. Like that again and again until we finish that big size of udon. I stand up fast to take two glass of water for us to drink and some tissues from the stall.

Jae looks really satisfied with the good food, he can't stop smiling and nodding his head like there's music on his head and he just moving along with it. I hand him a tissue to clean up his mouth when I see soup stains on his shirt.

"Ah..." I growl and try to wipe it with a tissue in my hand, but it's too late apparently.

"Just leave it, don't mind it."

"It will hard to clean."

"It's okay, it's a reminder that I had a really good udon with you at a food festival. It's a good memory."

I lift up my head that unexpectedly very close to him that I surprised myself and makes me let out a gasp spontaneously. While he just smiling liking it.

"You asking for a kiss or what?" He still smiling.

"Sorry you must be surprised." I back off.

"Not at all." He moving forward make our face close again.

"I would like it Jae, but not here." I smile and cover his mouth with my palm makes him laughing.

He take my hand that covering his mouth and hold it tightly again, "Okay let's continue, omuk, tteokbokki, hamburger, and chicken skin, then let's go home so I can kiss you all I want." We're stand up.

I punch his shoulder with my other hand, "You only think of that ever since we..."

He look at me when I'm not finishing my sentence.

"Of course not, Sugar..." He break his holding on my hand and circle his hand to my back instead.

"And you keep calling me with those silly nicknames!" I cut his words.

"That night surely is one of the night I treasure the most, I will never forget it, but no, I'm not only thinking of that, am I some kind of pervert or what? And about nicknames, it just slipped out of my mouth like that, because sometimes you're such a sweet so sweety came out just like that, sometimes you look like my princess in my kingdom of isolation, and just then you kind of smell too sweet like sugar that just stirred up in a glass of hot water."

I frowning my forehead, "Wait, where is your masker?" I touch his pocket jeans on the left and right and he's laughing while backing off himself to avoid my hands.

"Okay okay, I shut up, okay?"

"But you should wear it though, you promised me earlier."

"Ah, it feels better like this."

"You and your stubborn self."

"You and your too-much-worry self."

I pfted at that. He do the same, mocking me so I hit his chest, lightly. But he scream, acting like it's so hurtful. But then he smile and move closer to me.

"I don't want this night to be over." He said then.

"Hm, me too." I circle my hand on his waist too.

"Should we just stay awake all night?"

Strange that I'm thinking about that idea, oh my god.

"Of course not, you have so much work to do tomorrow." He said then.

I look up my head to him and smile proudly, "Very mature thinking."

He scoff, "You got to make it up or something."

"Roger, after Yena's debut."

  
-


	15. Chapter 15

I feel like I'm going to die. It's been a long time since the last time I felt like this, but this past two weeks had been a really busy weeks from me. I checked many things regarding Yena's mini album and duet song. I talked to some producers, make a deal to director in charge of the music video, I drove Yena to Chungha's agency to discuss about their song together, meeting with Chungha's dancer team to creates some cool coreography because we decided to shoot some kind of performance video for it, then we visited some designers to deciding the final wardrobe for her music video and her overal stage outfit for promoting period later, I constantly on the phone everytime I wait Yena practicing the song and the choreo, I still busy talking on the phone on the recording day of her title song, my mind was all over the place everytime I ended up a phone call. My notebook full of scribbles about many important dates and details about her debut stage. I try to approach some variety show PD's too, for promoting her better, before and after the promotion period.

Asking for Yena's appearances on TV shows is not that difficult anymore as many PD's know her already because of her good performance in her weekly program, plus her award she got with JB really makes many people in industry pay attention to her. So it's not take my time that much for getting her appear in variety shows, it's schedule managament that makes me feel like I want to death instead.

Why everything seems to overlapping each other so much? My head really hurts, we gave up on some good shows because the shooting schedule is just doesn't match her fix schedule of promotion on music shows. Music shows really taking the longest of her time because she should stand by on the site hours before her turn to shoot. I personally think it's a waste of time, she can do something else until her turn, but the music shows team always want every idols to stand by at the spesific time and make them wait long, I don't know why. So yeah, we gave up many shows because of that.

But in the end of the day, Sajangnim looks satisfied after I showed him how much I can do for her debut this time. I talked and discussed it with Yena too, about how much she can take the job, but she's so on fire this time. She's calculating everything in a very logic way, so I believed her, and showed the schedule to Sajangnim proudly. Thank god he's satisfied by it.

It's nearly 1AM when we finally wrapping up the music video shooting. Everyone exhausted and looks so tired, but satisfy smiles are on everyone's faces. Yena smiles the biggest, she completely satisfied about the result of today's shooting. We've been doing this for 3 days, and finally reach the final shoot. Yena thank every staffs, especially the director of this shooting, with her never fading smile and her typical husky voice. And everyone smiling and thanking her back too for her hard work and diligent attitude.

JB came to surprise her just minutes ago, he come with two other members of GOT7, Yugyeom and Bambam. I don't know when Yena met the other members, but they look close already, it kind of strange, but I just don't have energy left to brought that up. Their visit successfully cheering up Yena and just like bring back half of her energy, while I keep wishing this will end soon because I need to sleep so bad.

Okay, sleep and Jae.

More spesifically, Jae's warm embrace that accompany me sleeping. It's been nearly a month we didn't meet properly I miss him so much.

So I run to his car excitedly after take Yena home. Jae is waiting at the parking lot as usual, greeting me with his smile. But the moment he take a better look at me, he whisper 'aigoo' to himself.

"You look like hell." He said with a shaking head to the left and right.

"I'm so tired, I feel like I don't have energy left in me, my mood is at the bottom of the ocean. But seeing you just boost up my mood, I feel energized mentally."

He laugh, "Mentally?"

"Yeah, because I'm not lying I'm so tired. My body feels like breaking apart."

"What about dinner?"

"It's 2AM, are you sure you asking about dinner?"

"But you had it or not?"

"I eat some kimbap."

He sigh, "Want to eat something first?"

I shake my head and pouting my lips, "I really want to sleep, I'm sorry."

"Roger, let's go home and sleep."

"I want your warm wrapping on me too." I look at him with my head touching the seat.

He smile, "Roger, Yena."

"What about your day?"

"Practicing for the concert, compose something, gaming with Dowoon for hours, practicing again, sleep. It was going around like that for the past 3 days." He laugh, "We're just busy practicing."

"Where will you perform this weekend?"

"We only left with Asia stop. This weekend..." He think for awhile, "Bangkok? I think?"

I touch the back of his head and caressing it, "Fighting!"

His smiling got wider, "It nearly end, and after that we'll be focus fully on making music again for another comeback. It's always going around like that, it's like pattern, you know?"

"So? Are you sick of that?"

He think for awhile, "Not sick of it, but more like... I feel like we need something new. Either a new setlist of concert stop, new shcedule or something...? I don't know, it just feel too repeating and we kind of... bored I guess? I don't know how to put it into words..."

"You guys need a vacation."

He look at me right away and thinking for awhile before going back to look up the street, "That's a briliant idea, though?"

"Yeah, go somewhere whether with your members or your other friends, get rest and do nothing musically, just have fun, checking out the scenery or something."

"Oh wow, it's such a good idea."

I smile.

"And maybe you need one too."

"Yeah sure, after Yena's debut."

He laugh, "Everything after Yena debut."

"Yeah, can't help it. I already decided to dedicate my life for Yena's debut. It was what I promised to Sajangnim before he hired me. She is my number one priority."

He look at me with such a jealous expression, his lips pouting too.

"You come after her."

Then he smile, "That's relieving."

-

  
** -Jae's PoV-**

"What's this?" I unintentionally saw a brown envelope inside her open bag that she put on the bed beside me, I pull it out and show her, who looking at me from the mirror. The sound of hairdryer still filling up the room, her room, along with a really nice scent of her shampoo that I like.

"Ah that... that's really weird, someone from my company received it for me. It doesn't have any information about the sender, right? It's so weird that I forgot to open it."

It's indeed weird, it only has a hand writing of her name on it, nothing more written on the envelope. It's not heavy either, it might be just some papers of contract or drama script for Choi Yena, though. "Can I open it?"

"Sure."

My heart stop the moment I see what's inside this envelope. It's a bunch of pictures. Our pictures, me and her, at many places, in many kind of poses, including our kissing scene at the club too. There's also a white paper in name card size that contains only, once again, a handwriting of some numbers. I assumed a phone number. I gulping and blinking my eyes rapidly, mind going blank in a second, but my hands move so fast to putting all of those pictures back inside the envelope.

"Why? What is it? What's with your expression?" She asked with her eyes scanning me from the mirror, her hand that hold the hairdryer stop moving.

And I can only clearing my throat nervously. Who sent this to her? My fans? News site? Who?

The hairdryer's sound gone as she turn it off and walk to me. "What?" She try to get the envelope but my hand just move automatically to prevent her get this.

"Nothing important, it's a spam, you don't have to see it."

"What do you mean? Your face tell the opposite, you freaked out just then."

"I wasn't."

"Jae, give me that, it's mine though."

I can't argue her, of course. It adressed to her from the beginning, I'm the one who supposed to not see this.

"Sit first, Yena."

She look at me with more confuse and sit beside me on her bed. We facing each other when I sigh deep and handed her the envelope. I look away when she start to pulling out the pictures, my mind is busy thinking right now, of what should I say to calm her if she freak out too. Worse, decided to finally call us an end.

I look at her again who staring at the pictures blankly, she checking out every pictures, one by one, scanning it fast, her eyes blinking in worry the more she looking at the photos.

"It's just a spam." I reach her hands to stop it from moving and try to get rid of those pictures, but she ignored me.

"No, wait, let me see all of it."

She continue until she found a white paper with numbers. She stand up right away to get her phone but I hold her wrist.

"You don't need to call that number."

"She, or he, is clearly want me to call this number."

"But you don't have to, she might just gonna asking money from you."

"Fine, I'll give her money if that's what she wanted."

"Yena, please sit and listen to me first."

She sighing deep to control herself. I sense her fear, just not different with mine. But I don't know, I feel like I should look like this is nothing for her to think this is not a big deal, while this is indeed a big deal.

"Let's wait first."

"And act like nothing happened? You see this?" She taking out a picture from a pile, "This was when you gave Yena music advice on the phone, it's way back before we dating, Jae. She's been with us all along."

Now it's me who staring balnkly at that one picture on her hand. But then she put it back on the pile again and stand up to look out her window, "She might be there too right now waiting for us to come out."

She freaked out. She's afraid already.

"I'll talk to my manager first about this. You've been blackmailed and this is an illegal action and she totally went too far, crossing our privacy line. I'll ask someone to trace her or something and do something about this." I put everything back inside the envelope, including the white paper with numbers.

"What if she impatient and decides to release it to public sooner before we can do anything about it?"

"Let's just not thinking about that." I stand up too and hold her hand, another effort to calm her.

"But..."

I peck her lips.

"What if she send it to a news site already?"

I kiss her again but she still have that worry look on her face, "Yena, please, calm down." I touch her cheek and caress it.

"How can I calm down at this rate, Jae?" She whisper and I give her another peck.

"Leave it up to me, I'll settle this."

"How?"

"I don't know too right now, but I'll find a way."

"Just let me call the number, it adressed to me, not you. She want to talk to me."

I nodded my head, "After I discuss it with my manager, you can talk to her all you want after that."

She close her eyes and sighing again.

"Now come here I finish your hair." I drag her by her hand, let her sit on the chair in front of the mirror while I grab the hairdryer and turn it on.

I touch her wet hair and start to dry it with her eyes never leave me a little bit, watching me all the times from the mirror.

"How can you be so calm? That's annoyed me."

I scoff, "If we both freaked out, then it's a win for her, Yena." I am freaked out inside.

"But your career is at the stake."

"Says who? It might be not as bad as you think." What the bullshit I just saying?

"I don't like how you face this so lighty like that. You better not underestimate this blackmail, this is serious."

"You worry too much."

"I don't want anything bad happen to you and your group."

"I talked about this already with my members."

"Doesn't mean you can treat this matter too lightly like that."

"Sungjin said it sometimes work to pretend, if we think something is not a big deal, then it will really become not a big deal. Sometimes it's the way you see something that matters, even if something is indeed bad but if you see it as nothing, sometimes it works, that something bad is really nothing to worry about."

"That's too cliche for me right now."

"I know, I feel like that most of the time too, but I'm adjusting myself to that kind of positivity, you know? To feel more at ease in life."

"I need to have some serious talk with Sungjin."

"You hardly have time for me, what makes you think I'll allow that kind of encounter?" I laugh.

"Oh my god, you're laughing, that annoyed me so much."

"Yena, trust me, everything will be fine. It might get worse at first for me or the band or you, but in the end, things gonna be fine again. It's okay, that's how life going. We go through bad and good things and will learn something from it."

"I sometimes hate how positive you are."

I turn off the hair dryer and touch her hair here and there, comb it with my finger.

"I feel like I should become even more positive because my girlfriend is a queen of worrying too much." I backhug her and place my chin on top of her head. "It's been awhile since we spending time together like this and you get mad for like half an hour because of that envelope, and I just not that willing to let my half an hour go wasted just like that, while facing the fact that you'll go soon to another busy day with that worrying feeling about the envelope." I kiss the top of her hair and let her shampoo scent invade my nose in the best way possible, "Forget about it and focus on your Yena. She deserves your full attention, okay?"

I feel her tense on the shoulders disappear slowly, she pout her lips then turn herself around to face me directly. She lift up her head asking for a kiss and I give her willingly. She kiss me with honesty and I feel crazy for her right away.

"I'm sorry." She said softly on my lips.

"Ready for another battle once again?"

She stand up, "After this one." She kiss me again.

I really am crazy for her.

"Okay, one more time." I said and now is me who kissing her, cupping her face in both of my hands.

  
-


	16. Chapter 16

I've been busy again for another three days that I completely forgot about the blackmail thing. Jae wasn't talking about that too in our late night calls, so I really didn't think about it at all until someone from company give me another envelope, with the same handwriting on it.

Yena debut date has decided, the music video will finish its editing process in a week, her song and choreo with Chungha is fixed too, they only have to execute it in the recording room. Yena's mini album also had been confirmed will consist of her title song, her featuring with Chungha, her composed song, and her duet song with JB. All of the preparations for this sucessfully blocking my mind for anything else, and not gonna lie that Jae's words that calming me that day took a really big part to ease my mind for awhile from the blackmail thing.

But that thing just come again today.

I look blankly again at the envelope in my hands, staring at my name on it. I take a deep sigh and open it, found another pictures of us. The most recent one, it's when we hang around Han River at the food festival. And like before, there's a white paper with numbers on it. That day Jae tried hard to prevent me from calling this number, which I don't know why, but now no one will stop me. He didn't give me an update regarding this so I'm going to find out myself.

This person who sent this is not threatening me or something like that, yet, but I don't like this feeling of unease. It's like having something uncomfortable hanging around my heart that I really want to distinguish for a better living. It makes me uneasy. And Jae is clearly doesn't want me to involve in this, he took the first envelope and never once mentioned about it again, he try to keep me away from this, and that is kind of pissed me off.

Because the one this sender wanted is me, not him.

So I called the number without telling him. I talked to her and made an appointment.

And here I am, sitting in a cafe facing a girl around my age. She's pretty from head to toe, and smiling a lot. What in the world? I thought I'm going to meet some toxic fans who is younger than me with many DAY6's acessories on her bag and clothes, and threatening me by talking rude with glaring eyes and everything, but no. I see a really beautiful girl, very polite, classy, and clearly has manner in everything she do.

Is she a chaebol or something? A business woman? The truth is, the image I see in front of me right now is what I imagine for me to be in 4 or 5 years after my graduation.

"I'm starting to understand what Jae oppa sees in you." She said after scanning me. "You're pretty." She nodded her head in agreement with herself. "But how can you two did that so openly and shamelessly like that? Okay, I get it that lovers tend to think that this world is only theirs, but... you're an idol's manager, how can you did it like that?"

"You're not even introduce yourself to me."

She smile, "Just call me Suzy. Not that Suzy, but I'm as pretty as her, don't I?"

"How old are you?"

"Oh, we're in the same age. I did a little research about you, and from what I got, you are a very rational woman, a hottest many guys wished to be with in the past." She slurp his juice, "So tell me, what makes you decided to do that shameless thing with Jae oppa?"

Okay I am blank. She is intimidate me that easy. The way she look at me, her tone of voice, all of that are intimidating. And I feel small, this is the first time I feel so small in front of someone. I never feel like this even in front of any celebrities before.

"It's not my intention." Finally I can only said that to her. This might be the most honest answer from me regarding her question. Because yes, it never my intention to be dating Jae that open. I swear I always had consent in everything I did with him, I'm aware of the risks too, but then I just did it. No excuse and better explanation than he made me feel like to do it. Everything.

She pouting her lips, "So you know about the consequences if this blow up, right?"

"I'm well aware."

"But you still did it."

"Never my intention. I..." I look at her, hesitant if I really should say this but then she nodded her head, "I'm not intended to date him either..."

"But you're doing it so seriously and whole-heartedly with him now."

How can she say it so surely like that when I'm not even sure myself?

"Because Jae oppa indeed attractive." She slurping his juice again, "Of course not as handsome as my oppa, but still..."

"What are you talking about?" Her personality is something else, really.

"Listen, let's just straight to the point." She take a breath first, shifting in her seat to sit more straight, "I'm not Jae oppa fans, well I love DAY6 as a group, but the one I following around isn't him. It's another member and you don't need to know who, he's the most handsome among them."

What is this? Everyone is handsome in that group.

"I rooting for him so much, I know how much he worked hard for this, you know? Performing, doing music, being an artist, doing concert, he really want to do that for a long time, you know?"

"Every performers want to do that for a long time."

"Right, so we're in a same page already. So to fulfilling that wish of him, the group have to be steady in entertainment industry. They built the fandom well so far, they gained many new fans in the span of two years, they're doing good so far at concerts, they even won first place recently, something big to achieve for a band in this country. The point is, they are rising, slow but steady. It's really a key for them to be able to stay long in this industry. And that is something all the fans want to see too." She pause to slurp his juice again, "But what you did with him can be an obstacle. A very big serious obstacle."

I acknowledge that already, oh my god. I starting to hate myself for being told by people like this. Because I know it already but it just hard to avoid it practically. Especially it's Jae whom I face with.

"See? I'm not even his fans but I spotted all of your dating activities that easy. Imagine what his real hardcore fans got all this time? I think they just hold themselves for not threatening you or something, or maybe they talked to Jae oppa already about this, that's not my business. But now I can't take it anymore. I'm uneasy. Someone need to reminds you, and that's what I do right now. I'm sure some fans aware of your relationship already, they just being nice to not do anything about it because they're respect his privacy. But you two just keep doing things that makes me feel more uneasy, so please, step back. Before any news site found out about this, please do it more secretly. The truth is I want you two just break up and end everything, but I know you won't do that, right? So at least try to do it secretly. Don't show up in public, for god's sake!"

I feel wrongly accused. But all I can do just sighing deep.

"When fans spotted Jae oppa in a mall and were not following him to the cinema, it's just them being polite."

"But you're the one who followed him instead." because there's pictures of us in cinema from the envelope.

"By pretended like I don't know him, like any normal human being who don't mind idol. Can you not interupt my narration?" She glare at me and slurping her juice again.

Okay this is starting to look funny.

"But then you guys went to a night club, oh my god. Some fans spotted him again, and I'm sure they took pictures of you two kissing, but thankfully, they just shared his picture alone, without you. They respect his privacy once again. I forgive you once again for that. But then what? You two showed up in food festival, being all lovey dovey again with each other." She facepalming, "Should I mention the day you drive him to DAY6's schedule with Choi Yena's van too? Fans are not stupid. They were questioning that day about why Jae oppa came separately with other members and stepped down from another van with different staff too. But then they're being kind again and respect his privacy for not making it a big issue."

Now that she mentioned it one by one like this, I starting to feel afraid again of what I just have done with him. All of it was indeed dangerous, I just so lucky that their fans are tolerable and kind people. But who knows what will happen later, right? Just like this girl in front of me said, I need a reminder. My goodness what were I thinking? I forbid Yena to involves in this kind of thing, but I did it myself.

"I started to feel uneasy. Because if there's no one doing something to reminds you, both of you, you might doing something too dangerous to handle, and ended up regret it later. What I'm afraid the most is you caught up by Dispatch. Dispatch is the most dirty player in this field, you must careful, Choi Yena is in danger too, you know? The one that fans hate the most is Dispatch, because that site released idol's dating scandal just like that, don't mind their privacy at all. I don't want you both caught up by them, really. So please, Yena, the one who in the same age as me, step back. Get back to your rational self and be more responsible. I'm sure you don't want to ruin Jae oppa's career just like that, so step back."

I stare blankly at her once again, let her words absorb in me in a very creepy way.

  
-

**-Jae's PoV-**

A week after the blackmailing thing and nothing happened. Everything just go as usual, no major issues going around fans on twitter as much as I can spy on, no strange news about me or DAY6 or other members. Nothing much going on except Yena. She's the least I expect to change but she did. She's acting weird in the last three days. I know she's busy with Yena's solo debut preparation, but that never be an excuse for her to not answering my call. Also, the look on her eyes that unfocus in the last facetime we did, it might be just because she was tired, but then I feel something. Like she's trying to create distance. When I asked about meeting her, she brought up about her being busy that she don't think we can meet anytime soon. She never talked like that regarding our date. It was obvious. Something happened to her, and I sensed it wasn't good. I'm afraid because it feels like she make distance, like she's being careful with me.

Is she avoiding me? Somehow? Because of that blackmailing thing?

Did she gave up already on this relationship? Did she changed her mind? Did she came to a realization that dating me is never gonna end happily? Did she afraid again?

I sigh, staring at the brown envelope at the bottom of my book stack. Then something flash my mind, did she received the same thing again? Did the brown envelope appeared again in front of her?

That thought makes me get up from laying right away, I'm starting to walking back and forth from one corner of the room to the other corner.

"Whoa, what?"

Brian almost crashing himself with me who walking to his direction the moment he get out from the bathroom.

"What are you doing?"

"Thinking."

I turn around to walk to another corner but my way got blocked by him who scanning me from head to toe, searching some hints about what I'm thinking about.

"Another fight?"

I sigh, "I feel like she's avoiding me."

"Because?"

I prolong my answer, "Something, I can't tell you now, but... there's something happened suddenly that makes her... worry... and... now she's avoiding me, apparently."

"Is that still your assumption or you confirmed it already to her?"

Right, of course. Follow up all assumptions.

So after that short conversation with Brian, I decided to try find the answer of my assumption first. It's late, she looks tired and sleepy and I feel bad to brought this serious talk up. She clearly need rest.

"I just busy this past week, I'm sorry if you feel like I'm avoiding you, but no, Jae. I just busy." She said with nearly closing her eyes.

I just watching her for awhile until she open her eyes, curious of me who not talking or respon to her.

"Yena?"

"I'm here."

"Are you okay?"

She need some time to finally answer, "I'm just tired, I think I'm gonna cry."

"There's no way a person crying because of tiredness."

"It's possible, I just gonna do that though."

"Are you sure it's just because you tired? Nothing else?"

"What else?"

Now it's me who need time to answer. I don't want to brought this up, I've been avoided to talk about this matter on purpose this whole week and I kind of successful, but I'm caught apparently.

"It's not about the blackmailing thing, right?"

"Oh, now you finally brought that up."

Yes, stupid me.

"Is it about that?"

"How the progress though? You said you'll discuss it with your manager, did he met her already? What did she said?"

"Okay Yena, listen. I lied about discuss it with my manager. I just don't want you to worry about that matter too much, while you have so much too worry about Yena's debut already."

"So you did nothing regarding that matter."

"I'm sorry."

She silence and look at me, still with her tired gaze, "It's okay, I forgot about that too these days, I was too busy to think about that." She smile.

"So nothing happened?"

"What exactly you want to happen?"

"But I feel like you acting weird and keep avoiding me."

"I told you I'm just busy."

I don't reply, just staring at her instead. We're staring at each other in the end.

"I miss you." I said in the end.

"Me too."

"Should I just come over right now?"

"I probably in a deep sleep when you arrive."

"It's okay, we can talk in the morning."

"I should go again in the dawn for another recording..."

This is happening again, this feeling. Why I keep feeling like she holding herself from seeing me?

"It's only tiring for you to drive here in the middle of the night and go again in the dawn just to see me sleeping."

"So what should I do? I miss you so much."

"We're seeing each other right now."

I let out a soft smile, a really helpless one. "Hm, alright I understand, you look dead tired, just sleep then, Yena. Hope you get energized again in the morning."

She smile, "You too."

"Don't skip lunch."

"I'll try."

"Okay..."

"Jae?"

"I'm here."

"I miss you too."

"You do?"

"Of course."

"You don't look convincing enough."

She smile again, "It's because I'm too tired to show it to you."

I grin, "Okay, I believe you."

"Let's meet after Yena's debut."

"Promise me."

She laugh quietly, "Is that necessary?"

I nodded, because I feel something though, so just for an assurance.

"I'll meet you after Yena's debut, I'll be the one who come to you, I promise."

"That's relieving." We're smiling to each other, "Okay, sleep tight now Yena. Don't think about anything else, just sleep right away."

She nodded, still trying to look at me with those sleepy eyes of her.

"Love you, always." Then I hung up the connection without even see her reaction of my declaration of love.

I did that to her several times already, I hope she gets the hint and take it seriously. I say it because I mean it, not just saying it around.

The feeling of being avoided by her doesn't disappear in the next days, so I take a really crazy action I might regret later. I dialed the number inside the envelope and set a meet up. She's kind of not believing me when I told her my name on the phone, but she's here in front of me right now, gasping with her mouth open.

"You met her, right?" I asked without any preamble.

"Oh, she didn't tell you?"

I scanning her appearance, makes myself believe if she's really a fan of DAY6, because she doesn't look like someone from a fandom a little bit. She's too normal. Are all fans has style like this in their personal life?

"Are you really our fans?"

"Why? Are you doubting me, oppa? I came to your fansign three months ago! We held hands, you heard me? Held hands!"

Really?

"I just not wearing anything that can show myself as DAY6's fans, I thought I'm gonna meet some swindler, but it's really you! Wow fascinating! You really do this far for her? Wow, acknowledge! She's the lucky one then?"

I tilted my head, "You're so blatant, you know?"

"I've heard it many times, outside office, of course." She laugh.

"What did you say to her? What do you want?"

She sigh, "So she didn't tell you, wow I respect her. But listen oppa, first of all, I'm not technically your fans, I like the other member from your group. And because I concern for the life of the group, I jumped myself in this matter, simply just to remind her. Nothing more, I don't want her money, I didn't threatened her and her family, she has no one by the way, did you know that? But that's not my business, of course, my goal is to remind her to step back. From you, because your dating habit is getting more and more dangerous, don't you think?"

I open my mouth to speak, but she shushed me with her palm.

"First she was on your schedule location with Yena's van, then cinema, then nightclub, then food festival, what next? Grocery mart? Amusement park? Are you crazy?"

I moving my lips annoyed at her words, "So what? I want to do it like any normal human being."

"Well you can't because you clearly are not a normal human being. Face the fact, you're an idol, in an active group, your actions bring danger to the whole group and other members. Are you gonna destroy their dreams just like that? Are you really that selfish of human being?" She sounds upset, which is her right.

But now I'm upset too, because she's right.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." She said very quietly after look at me silence and get blank.

But I just sighing.

"Please Jae oppa, for the sake of the group, and for the sake of other members' dreams, just do it secretly. And when I said secretly, I mean SECRETLY."

"She's avoiding me right now."

"I didn't told her to avoid you, I just asked her to step back and do it secretly."

I glare at her, "How did you told her? She's been worrying so much about this issue, she probably blaming herself again for doing this with me."

"That's good, then." She covered her lips with both of his palm when I give her a glaring gaze because of her words.

"You like her that much?" She whisper, or gasping not believing it.

"You think I just play with her?"

"You're not?"

What the hell?

"Who are you?"

"Your girl called me Suzy, you can use that nickname too."

I frowning my forehead, why she sounds like her close friends though?

"Do you, somehow, know her in person before this?"

"Of course not. We're in different level, you know? Anyway, I get it now. You like her, you don't want to break up with her. Get it. But please, consider my advice. Do. It. Secretly." She's glaring.

"Who do you like in DAY6?"

She smile, "You don't have to know, just like your girl, she doesn't have to know either. My goal is the band keep going for a long time, so that I can see him perform on stage for a long time with more crowd, bigger venue, more recognitions, more awards and trophies, so don't you dare to ruin it. The group finally achieved something after years, you guys are rising now, please once again for the sake of other members, don't ruin it." She folded her hands on her chest, "If you want to failed, just failed alone."

Okay, fans can be scary. But hella right.

"But, are you alone? Where is your manager?"

"Are we babies?"

She once again agape her mouth, "So this is the problem. You going around places alone like this without your manager, met random pretty girl at a restaurant when you feel bored then you asked her out and ended up liking her and dating her and causing trouble later."

"She's not random pretty girl."

"Oh, you two know each other before?"

Not really.

But I'm not voicing that out, so she threw her hair in the air helplessly for admitting her words are right.

What's wrong with her? Why her words are all true?

"Listen oppa, a group with dating scandal never stay that long in the industry. People will lost interest eventually, fans will lost interest eventually, and new groups keep coming up. It was hard for you to arrived at your place right now, wasn't it? It wasn't an easy road, everyone knows, so why waste it? All the efforts that you put, are you gonna let it burn just like that, it only your 4th year, please keep grounded like a rookie. Keep cautious, because we want to see you stand in that place for a really long time. We want to hear your music playing on the streets and stores and radio for a long time. So..."

"But I just want to be happy. We all want to be happy and feel a little bit normal."

She gets silence.

"You're not happy right now?"

"That's not what I implying, it's just... we need something real... something..."

She's staring at me, waiting.

But I don't know how to explain it further.

"That's why I said I get it." Her voice turn softer, "I didn't said you should just break up with her, I didn't said that too to her, I just want you to be a little... considering your fans' feelings..." She looking down her head. "We want you all to be happy too, just as much as you give us happiness everyday with your music and appearance, but..."

She can't continue her words either.

"Time's up, Jae. Time to go." Our manager just appear like that from nowhere, startled her.

I sigh and stand up.

"How you will going home? Should I call you a taxi?" My manager asked.

"My driver waiting for me outside, thank you so much."

He kind of taken aback of that fact. I sense that vibe from her, she's like a princess from some wealthy family.

"Okay, then. And... about this matter..."

"I know, I won't talk to anyone. I'm the one who don't want the group mess up, you know?"

"Good, and keep the pictures safe. Just call us anytime if you need anything, okay? Please inform us if you heard something from fans regarding this."

"We respect their privacy so much. Some of us probably already knew that he's dating someone, the others probably has figured out who is she already, but we keep silent until today, because we try to respect their privacy. So to repay that, can you ask your idol and his partner to be more... responsible?"

He's taken aback again, this girl is really has smart choice of words.

"Of course, I will scold them to be more responsible, yeah, of course. Don't worry. Nothing's gonna happen if you keep being careful like this. It's a win win situation for both sides."

She reach out her hand, asking for a handshake as an agreement. "Deal." She said as my manager take her handshake.

What is this alternate universe I just jumped myself into?

-


	17. Chapter 17

I never felt this proud in my life. Seeing Yena receiving that first music show trophy makes me emotional. All of her efforts and hardships she did all this time preparing her debut is finally paid off beautifully. All those times she spent practicing her dancing, endless practicing her singing and rapping that made her throat burns, countless times she did those fierce expressions in front of the mirror, today all of that finally paid off. It's her first music show's winning and the start of many more winnings that she would get. I hope.

Because my efforts and hard works are finally paid off too. All the times I spent at night looking for concept and matching outfit, all those calls with producers and directors to arranged everything, all the driving to shooting site of the MV and Chungha's studio, countless of reschedule and meetings, endless of promoting her to many variety show PD's, and those lack of sleep at night, all of that is finally paid off too.

The mini album is charting well and the respon from fans and general public is good too, no major issues happen so far, everything we got from people is praise, praise, and praise. Chungha's fans also impressed and satisfied about the featuring, said that the addition of Yena's rapping between Chungha's beautiful singing is something fresh to hear, and the dance moves they both created also very intense and nerve-wrecking in a good way.

Yena & JB enthusiast also feel happy that their duet song included in the mini album and made a comeback raising in the music chart. Many new people pay attention to them and I feel like their bound will never fade out anytime soon. I see Yena always smiling too everytime she found a comment about her and JB, because it never about the angriness towards them, it rather supporting them, so she always happy about it.

"You're smiling alone again." I take a glance at her in the middle of my driving.

She laugh, "Can't help it, unnie. I feel so happy these days. My solo debut got good respons from people, charting well on music charts, I got my first music show winning right away, many people praised my featuring with Chungha sunbaenim too, and people still not get over JB oppa. Wah, this feel so surreal and like a dream come true. It's like I use all of my good luck for this debut, only good things keep happening to me."

"Congratulations, all of our hard works are paid off."

"Really, woah. Really felt surreal. You really worked hard, unnie. Thank you so much for all the things you did for me. All of those promoting me to PD's probably the key for this successful debut."

I smile, "Remember what I said back then to you? The success of your debut is depend on all parties, you, me, and the agency. We has such a good teamwork, really. We all worked hard and this is what we deserves."

"It really feel good. Like my worries all this time is disappear right away."

I smile for agreeing her.

But despite of all those happiness that keep coming for me and Yena, I suddenly miss Jae's presence in my life. We still have not much time to meet each other, it's almost a month. No, it's more like I've been trying to make myself busier on purpose so I have excuse to not meet him for almost a month. Yes, I being careful. After a fan blackmailed me with our photos and made me realized of how wrong the things I did with him, I try to be careful. And the only way I can think of is by keep the distance between us for awhile. Thank god I have Yena's debut for an excuse, so it's kind of work out. It's best for both of us. We always can get back to being all lovey dovey again after some times, after his fans couldn't spot us together in public anymore and forget about us eventually.

I hope Jae is patient enough for that time to come.

But he's not. He's so random to begin with, sometimes he just did things he wanted to do without much consideration of the risks. Like now.

How can he waving at us like that at Yena's apartment lobby without anyhting cover up his face a little bit? Not even a hat on his head, he just waving and smiling wide to us in a random night, popped out from no one knows where. Left me scanning the lobby in worries of someone's there hiding behind the walls to capture all of this.

"For winning first place." He smile as he gave a nice paper bag to Yena.

"Oh?" She received it and look inside with a surprise look on her face, "Thank you so much, sunbae. What is this?"

"Open it in your room. You've worked hard and undoubtfully amazing for winning that thropy right away after making your debut." He kind of laugh at it, "Our team needs almost 4 years."

"That's because people and the industry itself is kind of blind and deaf for not recognizing your group." Yena is DAY6's fans after all, so that sad unfortunate fact about his group always bring annoyance to her. She is upset.

"Oh, don't discrediting other people's music taste like that." Jae said in a wise manner.

"What taste music? It's all about fandom in this industry!"

But then everyone's silence.

Jae smile, "Yeah, maybe our fandom's not worked hard enough this whole time."

"I really didn't mean it like that, sunbae..."

He keep smiling though, "But we love them so much, our fandom. Music is indeed not valued by how it charting on music charts, but how the listeners appreciate it and relate to it. That's the highest value one's music can get."

"Park Jaehyung indeed." I whisper and he look at me.

"Excuse me, but I guess I need to end this too-serious conversation because it's late, you need to rest for another busy activities tomorrow, and I really need her right now to be alive for the next hours because I miss her so much, and because I don't want to reduce her resting time too, I think we should go right now."

"That was so cheesy, my goodness." Yena whisper to herself. "Okay, unnie. A hug before you go." Then she hug me tight, short, and I tap her back twice as I always do to her. "See you tomorrow, and have fun."

I give her a questioning look before she get inside the elevator and waving her hands at us.

I turn my head to Jae after the elevator door closed, he just tingling his head and smiling to me innocently. He knew I will say something about this sudden visit, so he shrugs both of his shoulder.

"Can't help it I really miss you so much."

I blink then stare at him. I hug him in the end, not long because he then take my hand and start walking us to parking lot.

"Alright, but what's about 'need me to be alive for the next hours'?"

He now circle his hand on my back, "Just like how it sounds." He closing his face to my ear, "I need you to focus on me for the next hours."

I hit her ribcage right away. "You said that to her!"

He groans jokingly, "So what? She's a grown-up."

I frowning my forehead and just about to hit him again but he got my hand and steal a light kiss from me, oh he's fast. We're walking though.

-

**-Jae's PoV-**

She's beautiful.

Lord, Kim Yena is beautiful. Her smile, touch, voice, kisses, everything about her is beautiful. The way she calling my name and screaming it, the way she endearingly looking at me the whole time, the way she moving, the way she covering me so good, everything is beautiful. This moment is beautiful, even more. More and more. Hotter. Crazier.

I will write something about her although I know it won't do justice to her real beauty right now, but I will write something about her I promise.

But despite all the beauty she showed me tonight, I feel something. Despite all happy feelings I feel right now, I sense her... worries? She got distant. Like she's thinking about something, and something must be really bothering her right now, because when I look into her eyes now, it shows. She try to hide it but it shows.

Like how I felt that she's making distance from me these past weeks, like she've been avoiding me. I know she was busy, tonight and maybe for the next couple weeks too, she's still be busy, but it just too much. She often made excuse for not answering my night calls because she's too sleepy to talk, or how she was fell asleep during our facetime. Okay, maybe she indeed tired, but you know, I just feel something from her, and I'm sure it's not just me, there's indeed something on her mind. But I don't know what. She keep postponing to meet me too. If I didn't appeared suddenly at Yena's apartment lobby tonight, I can't even guess when we will meet again. Maybe after Yena's debut promotion really ended, which means like around two weeks later.

Are the photos really bothering her that much? I met her, the one who captured all of those, and she's not that threatening, she just reminding us, honestly. Or is that why? She reminded us so Yena try to being careful as that fan wanted, that's why she avoiding me? Okay, avoid to meet me outside, at public place, that's reasonable, but avoid my calls too? Is that necessary to do that far?

Brian and Wonpil's words come to me then, I really should ask her. It's really not healthy to wondering and assuming things alone.

She lift up her head and look at me, touch my forehead with her fingers, "Don't think too much." She whisper softly.

"Isn't it you that has so much to think about?" I asked her back with the same softness in my voice. Should I really bring it up right now and ruin this peaceful moment?

We finally meet after awhile, I miss her so much, but should I really end this moment by talking about that?

"Most of the things I'm thinking about these days are related to Yena and her debut."

"Really? You're not thinking of me that much?"

"Recently? Not that much, I'm sorry."

"That hurts." But I sense that she's not telling the truth. "But I feel the opposite, though?"

"What do you mean?" She moved up herself a little bit to be able to see me more comfortably. We're face to face right now.

"I feel like you avoiding me. Remember that article you sent me when I avoided you back then? I'm following up my assumption right now. Are you avoiding me these past weeks, Kim Yena?"

She silence for awhile, "I was busy, Jae. I felt so tired when I came home, that's why I'm..."

I look into her blinking eyes. There's really something there. And the fact that she didn't tell me about her meeting with the fan who took our pictures is just makes me more uneasy. And because of that, I can't really confessed to her that I met that fan too and knew about their meeting already.

"Your eyes can't really lie, though. Something bothering you? Is it about the pictures?" I touch her stray hair and tuck it behind her ear, and my hand linger there.

She sigh, "Tell me, are you finally do something about it, that's why it so calm like this? You told your manager about it? And he took care of it? That's why it still peaceful like this?"

"You worried."

"Of course."

"You don't have to, everything's under control, Yena."

"But still, I think we should be more careful from now on, Jae."

"Not going to public places together, I get that. But avoiding my calls too?"

She blink again and look at me longer, "I don't know, okay?" She gets up, sit, and look around everything else but me, "My mind is all over the place. With all Yena's thing I should handle, this matter is just... there, going around and linger in my mind like that, and it just... all over the place. I don't know, maybe we really need to keep away from each other for awhile? Until the fans forgetting this?"

"Hey, who said the fans know about us? It's only that one fan who took the pictures that aware of us." I get up too, touching her cheek softly and caress it. "Trust me, everything's under control, Yena. No need to worry that much."

She searching something, anything to argue me again. She's so stubborn, really.

"Okay, I won't meet you outside again."

"Not even popped up suddenly like today."

I nod my head, "Okay, I'm sorry for today. It's just... you avoiding me too much that I can't help but did that reckless thing. If you answered my calls these past weeks, I wouldn't did that in the first place."

"So it's my fault?" She kind of laughing it.

"Of course it's your fault." I kiss her.

"But I did that for both of us."

"Don't, really. Anything but that, you can do anything but don't left me hanging. I miss you too damn much." I kiss her again deeper my hand on her neck already, let her warm from her skin running through my fingers.

Lord I'm going crazy again when she finally kiss me back with the same intense feel, like she always trying to give me back what I gave her, with the exact same amount.

"I miss you so much too." She said it on my lips before starts to kiss me again deeper.

I go to her neck and ear to whisper, "Show it to me then. Show me just how much you miss me." I kiss her ear.

She whimper, looking down her face until it rest on my shoulder, she lean her body on me completely, hug me. Her lips start wondering on my every skin.

"Should we just skip sleep tonight?" She asked breathless before bite the skin around my neck.

"Cool." I grip her waist under her shirt, feeling more of her skin on my fingers.

She moans and it's beautiful.

"I'm gonna write something about you." I said and it makes her stop from what she's doing to look at me intensely.

"Write it good."

"I'll write it beautifully. Although it won't be as beautiful as you are right now, but I'll try."

She touch my front hair, my forehead, still with that intense stare that radiating love. She kiss my forehead long and I grip her waist tighter, her kisses go down until it reach my lips and that's it.

I loose my mind again tonight.

She is beautiful.

-

  
**-Choi Yena's PoV-**

You know that little feeling of nervous and thrill that suddenly appear in the middle of euphoria? When many good things happened and continuosly happening to me, there's always that nervous and thrill feeling following. Very subtle, but these days I felt it clearer. There's always a moment when my heartbeat felt like stop for a second while I received trophy from music shows, or when I read a nice article that praising my solo debut, or when people said I did good at variety shows. Everything that happened to me after my solo debut is still surreal for me to comprehend, it still feel like a dream come true, or like I still dreaming in a deep sleep and refuse to wake up. It's like god-given gifts to me that I still found it hard to believe.

That's why that nervous and thrill feeling is there, ghosting around myself, like a storm that waiting to appear suddenly to ruining the calmness.

It really comes.

A storm that stop the calmness, for now, because I still in hope that it won't really ruin everything. It's an article released by Dispatch two days ago that stated me dating one of DAY6's member. Yes, Jae sunbaenim. Just as much as ridiculos the title of the article sounds, the pictures they released along with the article are taken very amateurly. No pictures that showed my face clearly, only a woman figure from the back or from the side, with a masker. Everyone that knows me in entertainment industry will clearly seeing that woman figure as my manager, what Dispatch doing really? The other pictures released by Dispatch are debatable material in my fandom, I acknowledge, it already became some kind of unspoken issue they've been solving all this time. It's about our van that sometimes seen parking at DAY6's schedule locations.

It kind of became a big issue now in my fandom after Dispatch released it, people keep questioning that fact alone eventhough both my side and Jae sunbae's had denied that rumour. I don't really know what happen right now in DAY6's fandom but that sudden article released by Dispatch successfully shifting my fans' interest, they're busy looking out for answers rather than streaming my songs or music video, or voting for me in music shows.

So my music shows' winning has stopped today. I still nominated for winning, but I lost by a slight difference of voting. And that finally hit me, about how much one false article affecting everything.

And it got worse, because despite of our denial, Dispatch release another pictures a week later, which is today. Pictures of me attending DAY6's latest concert, and pictures of me smiling to Jae sunbae at my apartment lobby where he gave me a gift for congratulating my first music show winning.

What is this?

There was Yena unnie right there with us, but why the pictures not showing her at all? If their reporters or papparazzi or whatever they called were hiding there with us that night, she or he must seen who was the one Jae sunbae leave with from my apartment! They were leaving with their hands circling on each other, that was more like a dating scandal than pictures that only showing me receiving his gift with a big smile on my face.

What is this? Are they specially targeting me?

"The comments are running wild among fans." Sajangnim spoke out a fact that everyone in this room know well already. "JB-Yena enthusiasts are questioning many things too."

I take a glance at Yena unnie beside me who still thinking, but more like absent-mindedly thinking, about what should we do to calm the fandom about this. We denied everything already, both sides, but why they keep commenting that article? Will Dispatch released another pictures tomorrow? Or the day after tomorrow until we give any official statement to clear up those misunderstandings? What will we say then? What will unnie say then? What will Jae sunbae's side say?

What is this?

"I was there, obviously. But why are they... only shot them and released her pictures?" Unnie finally reacted.

"And this is unusual. They were not call us or anything beforehand, they were not asking money from us either for this pictures. Is Dispatch work differently this time? Is DAY6's side received a call or something from them?"

"Not at all, I confirmed it to Jae just then. Nothing, that article just suddenly appeared on their site like that." Yena unnie sighing.

"Is someone's targeting Yena on purpose?" Sajangnim asked to himself. "It's so odd. If they only want money, they can just use you and Jae pictures, not Yena." He look at me.

Well I have a mix feelings after heard that statement from sajangnim. I feel unfortunate that this got to Dispatch's radar, I feel unfortunate to the fact that someone knew about unnie and Jae sunbae's relationship, but on the other hand, I feel kind of upset because it's me who got the loss, not practically Yena unnie. So I try really hard to not voicing that out, for not blaming her regarding this, because I know unnie probably already blaming herself right now. She try to look focus on this matter but I know her mind is all over the place right now. She must be feeling guilty to Jae sunbae too.

My goodness, why this is happen to us?

"Remember a girl I once told you, Sajangnim? I'll meet her after this to get... I don't know, confirmation? Information? regarding this, because she's the one I know that has pictures of me and Jae. I'll talk to her first and I'll find a way to clear this up after that."

"There's a girl that has your pictures?" I asked suddenly.

She look at me and sighing, "I'm sorry, Yena."

I pout my lips suddenly, "Unnie..."

"I'll clear things up. I'll try."

I'm gulping down, "Tell me about that girl first, is she my fans?"

"No, she's DAY6's fan. She wasn't threatened me, she sent me pictures weeks ago, we met once and she just reminded me to be more... careful. I still don't think she's the one who sell the pictures to Dispatch, because just like us, she doesn't want DAY6 to get in trouble either. She obviously just reminded me that day." She bite her lips, "But I'll confirming it to her, maybe she know something."

"Shouldn't you meet Jae sunbae first, unnie?" I asked her, confuse at myself because I don't know from where that thinking appear.

She's gulping down, "I'll talk to him later on the phone."

What will they talk about though? Choosing between 'reveal their relationship for denying that false rumour about me' or 'keep deny the rumour without do nothing and let my fans wondering the rumour alone until who knows when and ruin this good momentum of my solo debut achievement to protecting Jae's group career'?

Which one they will choose?

Or is there any other option?

-


	18. Chapter 18

"What are you doing here?" I asked Jae with such a surprising tone, "Do you know each other?" I look at them back and forth.

"I met her back then when I felt you avoiding me." He asked me to sit by touching the seat beside him.

"Why you didn't tell me?"

"You didn't tell me either that you met her. I asked you that night, remember? I planning to tell this to you if you tell me about this too, but you didn't, so I thought we just gotta cool about it."

I can only sighing.

"And because you both want to see me so badly after what happened, I guess I just arranged it like this, I have life to live too, you know? I'm busy too, okay?" Suzy, or whatever her real name is cut me and Jae's conversation just like that.

Make us turn our head and give our attention fully to her. Well, I glare at her, saying 'you sell our pictures to Dispatch?!' along with it.

"It's not me, I swear to God, I never want to ruin DAY6's image, I don't want them involves in any scandal, especially dating, that's why I reminded you, both of you, about the consequences. Besides..." She pull out her pictures from a familiar brown envelope then spread it on the table.

My head automatically looking around this place because who knows, someone's might here right now spying on us, but then I realized this place is empty and too quiet to be a restaurant. It's a five star hotel-restaurant but still, it's daylight, why so empty though?

"Don't worry, my dad own this place. It's clear right now." She said again to ease my worries, now she turn on his big tablet and touching it several times.

Jae take a glance at me, mouthing, "How are you?"

"I want to death." I mouthing too, tired and literally not in a good mood.

I feel guilty as hell, to Yena, to him, to the girl in front of me, to other DAY6's members, to all Yena and DAY6's fans. Oh my god, can I just disappear and taking all this problem with me and give back their happy and peaceful life in exchange?

But Jae take my hand and hold it tight, "It will pass." He whisper it very quietly, "Trust me."

But I don't want to believe in anyone right now, I don't really want to believe in anything. If this is a game, I just want to skip this level, or just quit and end it right away. This is so much that I can take, I ruin Yena's achievement, how dare I meet her after this? Truthfully, looking at her face before I came here is already makes me want to wreck myself. How can she still concerned about my relationship when her debut achievement just stop rising suddenly like that? How can I still have the gut to meet her and discuss this matter later? I'm the one who blame, I'm the source of this problem. Oh my god I hate myself.

And on top of that, I hate how Jae still trying to look calm about this. His group might lose many fans too, their career might ruin too, but he held my hand so calmly and still radiating this warmness to me, relaxes me. How can he do that?

"Look," she show us that article, that damn Dispatch's article, focusing on the photos. "Dispatch's point of view is slightly different from mine." She found a pictures with the same location, "It's so amateurly taken and unprofessional, and very ambiguous. It's not showing the girl's face clearly. While my photos only focus to your face, both of your faces. Because if I want big amount of money from both of the parties involved in this photo, I should obtain a really convincing proof. But what Dispatch doing is... what's their intention, though?" She asked herself in the end.

But I already know the answer, "Yena. They only targeting Yena." I said finally.

And her face become blank, thinking harder.

"Your company never received a threat for them, right?" I asked Jae.

"No threat, not even a call asking for money, those pictures just suddenly there on their website."

"Me too, my company too. We all clueless, and this is not what Dispatch usually do all this time, right?"

Suzy smirk upon hearing that, like she finally grab some ideas about this odd Dispatch's work, "Someone is targeting Yena by paying Dispatch. Dispatch won't do something that has no money in it, trust me, that people only think about money, no heart even a little bit. They play idols' life like that just for money. The dirtiest one in this industry." She sigh.

"Someone's targeting Yena? Why?"

"Because they don't want her to success? I don't know, maybe someone's got jealous of her rocket-fast achievements that they should do this to bring her down or slower her pace a little bit? This is that kind of environment after all."

"Who are you exactly?" Jae asked curiously.

"Is that important right now? Oppa, your group might affected so bad because of this. Well, although we, the fans, are smart enough to believe Dispatch's photography skill that claimed this girl as Choi Yena, we feel uneasy right now because you might decided to clarifying this rumor with some sudden big confessions about who is the one you dating for real all this time. Think about it, the simplest way to clear up this misunderstanding is by release an official statement about your real girlfriend here," she move her hand to me, "Yena's career will safe that way and maybe she can get back climbing up another great achievements, but we don't want you to choose that way. Because it means your group agreeing that dating scandal. And do you remember what I said at our first meet? A group with dating scandal..."

"Won't last that long in the industry." Jae cut her words and grip my hand tighter at the same time.

She nodded her head. "That's what your fans concerned about. And look at how too calm you are right now, how you still hold her hand behind this table thinking I'm not notice, I assume you already made a decision." She tilted her head.

That makes me look at him with a frowning forehead, so he look at me too.

"I talked to members already..."

"I think I need to talk to your members too."

"Yena..."

"Don't do anything without my permission, really." I try to get my hand away from his but he won't let go. His grip tighter.

"We're fine."

"It hasn't to be that way."

"It has to be that way."

"And you're all okay with that?"

"I told you, we talked already." He look at me firmly. More firm than I ever see it from him.

"Let me talk to them then." I try to take my hand away again but he still stubbornly hold it, grip it so tight, "Jae, it hurts."

Then it loosen suddenly, just like how his gaze soften to me. He take his hand away from mine completely and I feel the lost. My heart like stopping, I feel like I lost him. I don't like that feeling, dear lord help me.

Silence come suddenly make us all realize we both raising our voices. He look away and I feel so bad. So I sigh and take his hand this time, with both of my hand. Still with not saying anything to each other. He just staring at it blankly, at my hands that holding his.

"I remember your priority..." He said very quietly, still with his stare blankly at our tangle hands.

"What about your priority?"

"I don't know, maybe you climbing up my priority so high already. Maybe I'm not in my right mind too."

"Let's talk about it alone after this."

He just sighing, tired.

I turn my attention to Suzy then, she witnessed everything she probably upset by Jae's confession about his priorities, because of course his group is the one that should be on top of his priority list, not me. How can he said that in front of his fan like that? Where is that confidence come from?

"If we, I mean Yena's side and his side, still denied that rumor, what do you think will happen?" I asked her, trying to find another way to get out from this.

"I don't really know about Yena's fandom, but us... well... some of us who don't really know what happened surely will accept it as the agency stated, it's official anyway, most fans believe everything that official. Some of us who already know the situation, I mean they who saw both of you with their own eyes, we probably will politely follow the scenario that the agency created without much complaint, as long as the group is scandal free. Can't deny that there must be some fans who turn their head right away from the group, but I think it's not major, so I guess that is probably the best option for now. For DAY6. For Yena, it probably go to... the opposite result. Her career might be... slowing down a little bit." She said it slowly, quietly, and carefully in gloomy state of mind.

And I sense that she just being polite for saying that Yena's career might be slowing down, because it can be worse actually. Because she's a rookie, and looking at how her fans are still talking about her van issue eventhough we denied the rumour already proving my worries.

"For now?" I finally find braveness to continue finding a way out from this.

She nodded her head, "Because who knows what else Dispatch prepared to be released later, right? I think they will never stop until both agencies give a really convincing explanations about the misunderstandings. Or until Yena's career really ruined." She sigh in a tired way, "They're in hurry, whoever paid them to drag Yena on this, they surely in hurry. Look at how they released another pictures not long after both agencies denied the first article. Dispatch never like that in the past, they at least give it a time and collect more convincing pictures for their second shot."

I take my hand away from Jae to reach my notebook and pen, "Tell me what misunderstandings we should clear up?"

"Well, based on the article alone..." She looks more focus now, like finally she snapped herself to really thinking and find a way out from this matter. "The van. They released many pictures of Yena's van at DAY6's events. And..." She pause to reassure herself if she really need to say this, "If the agency can give an official statement regarding this girl too..." She pointing her finger to one picture.

To me in the picture, it was when I drove Jae to a local festival, the day where I saw him got an allergy attack. I close my eyes and stop writing for awhile.

"It's impossible, right? You'll be exposed, then." She said again.

"What else?"

"The gift Jae oppa gave to Yena, why they met there in the first place, what's the occasion."

I sigh deeper the more she explain things because the honest explanation of all those misunderstandings is leading to exposing myself as Jae's girlfriend.

"The pictures of you at the club are blurry so much and took in a really weird angle, same as the pictures at food festival. I think they do it on purpose, to dissimulate your real identity, to make it looks like Yena's figure as much as possible. But honestly, people who know you and Yena in real life must be denying right away that this is her."

"You're right, every PD's and staffs who work with Yena in variety show clearly said that the girl in Dispatch article doesn't resemble her a little bit."

"Only a fool believe it's her. So I think the agency should make an official statement about that as well."

Again, another attempt to expose myself. At this rate, maybe I should just tell the truth already to public. I sigh long and deep.

"That is all for now. Try to explain that without really admitting he's dating." She said finally.

My head hurts.

"Are you sure you both aren't know each other before this?" Jae asked suddenly. He still look tired and disappointed at our argue just then, but he look at us now with a frowning forehead, like he don't believe what just he saw. "Don't you think you're too familiar to each other for a second meet?"

"Maybe that's because we're in the same age? But is that important to you? Oppa, really?" She look at him in disbelieve.

-

  
**-Jae's PoV-**

Silence with her never feel this nerve-wracking. Silence with her used to be a comfortable one while cuddling on her bed, getting sleepy in the middle of the night. It's midnight right now, still in my car sitting in silence, just finished creating lame fiction about our relationship to avoid further damage to both Yena and DAY6.

We, my side and hers, came to an agreement and put our best efforts in creating those lies that will be released tomorrow by both sides' representatives. The story consist of the end of our relationship and I pray for all my heart that it won't be happening to us in real term too. But the atmosphere right now, her tired and unfocus gaze, her gestures, her silence, everything just lead me to that scenario. And I don't know how to argue with her anymore if she really want us to end.

I promised her back then, to let her stop this anytime she want if she feel something bad going to happen. Well, that something bad already happened, and there's no reason for her to not end this.

It's just I still want her.

Our relationship feels too short if it end right now. I want to fight more, but her words and that Suzy girl's narration about other members' dreams are hit me hard, makes me see myself as the egoist one.

"Remember my condition back then before I agreed to do this with you?" She started to speak, with calmness.

Seems like my guess is right. So what can I say to that?

"Is it here?" I try to respon it with calm too, just so I won't break and crying shamelessly begging her to stay.

I feel her stare at me who still not ready to face her.

"Something bad happened and I don't think we can... or should..." Her voice disappear just like that.

The atmosphere got heavier, more and more.

"We got good scenario that will cover up everything, though." I kind of scoff a little bit, helplessly. I know everything I say right now won't change her decision.

She's already decided.

"We've done our best."

Silence again. This damn suffocating silence. I still like her so much.

"You took a glimpse at how it feels dating in this country, just as you wish. You had fun enough too with me, right?"

Now I brace myself to look at her, smiling. "Fun is underrated word, Yena. I found happiness."

She got silence again, but this time her eyes lock with mine.

She nodded her head then, "You're happy enough."

I look down my face.

"I'm happy too, I'm happy in everything we did together. We did enough reckless things and I feel happy in every minutes of it. We're loving each other enough, crazily. And I never regret it." Her voice started to waver but she try her best to say everything.

Her farewell narration.

While my head can't think of anything, my mouth can't speak anything, I'm not moving and feels like I'm not even breathing. It feels suffocating.

"Meeting you is the best gift of my life, and dating you is the best crazy decision I've ever made. Jae, I will never regret it."

I gulping down.

I want to tell her the same, I want to tell her every moments we spent together is my best part, I want to tell her how precious her presence is in my life, how thankful I am for meeting her, for being brave to asked her out and did this crazy thing with her. I want to tell her I thank her so much that she brave enough too to accepted me and agreed to did this, and every worries that she felt all this time are worth it. I want to tell her all of that, everything. About how happy I am, how I feel loved and loving her, how I treasure every night talks we did, how she always being considerate and put my status as an idol first on top of everything.

But my voice seems gone, it's like my tounge can't move and I forget how to speak. I just staring at her apartment entrance blankly.

"But I think it's time to back to reality, it's time to wake up and face the truth. We've done our best, right?"

I still not answer her.

"Jae? Can you please say something?"

I sigh, "Is there something I can say to make us stay together for a little bit longer? Honestly, it's not enough, everything is not enough, I still not have enough." We're staring, "But I don't know how to assure you again this time."

"But we've done our best."

"I should've done better."

"No, you've done your best."

I don't want to argue her anymore, I don't want to raise my voice again to her, she's too precious to receive that kind of treatment.

"I'm happy too. Being with you is one of the happiest moment in my life, Yena." And I still craving for that. I know I'm not allowed to say that to you right now, so yeah, only in my head.

She nodded her head and smiling, "But time's up for us."

I'm not answer her again, lord how I want to hold her hand, hug her, and try my hardest to change her mind.

"Later, after awhile, when the fans are satisfied enough of your musics and stages, when they're mature enough to accept us, when your group obtained many of those big achievements and gained those recognitions, when you and your members achieved all your dreams and goals, when that time comes... let's meet again. Let's meet in better situation and give our best once again. I hope when that time comes you will still want me the same... I'll come to you. I'll be the one who running towards you. Without restrains, without worries..." she smile in the middle of her crying, "...without being cautious. I will love you crazier than this, I'll be head over heels for you, a fool for you."

I touch her face, wiping her tears with my thumbs then kiss her. This might be our last kiss so I give my all to it. My heart, my feelings, my gratitude, I even willing to give my life for her if she let me. If only she let me. I'm ready to throw everything, if only she let me.

I kiss her slow, deep. I don't want this to end, I don't want tonight to end, god please help me. I like this girl so much, please collide our fate once again when that time she mentioned comes. Please give me more power to be able to protect her when that time comes.

She kiss me back, transferring her love for the last time to me, and I grip her face a little bit tighter.

"I'll wait for that time. It will come in a blink, so be prepared, Kim Yena. Because I won't hold back even a little bit." I kiss her once again until we're out of breath.

She hug me long one last time, saying goodbye with her familiar soft voice then get down the car, running towards the entrance of her apartment, not looking back to me even once.

Leaving me staring at her back blankly, sadly. Her back that disappear into the building success tearing me up. Tears fall, one by one, little by little. Thoughts that I can't meet or call her again tomorrow until who knows when is suddenly filling me, fear me, hit me so hard with realization that I can't touch her anymore too. So I let my tears fall even more, let sadness filling me, I sobbing hard without me knowing. I can't remember when the last time I cry this hard. I put both of my hands on steering wheel and put down my head on to it, my shoulders moving up and down, hard, I sobbing even more.

Alone and heart broken.

  
-


	19. Chapter 19

**-Choi Yena's PoV-**

"But why? Both sides released official explanations about the rumour, it will be forgotten, so why you quit?"

"There's a petition, Yena."

"They don't know anything about you!" I raised my voice without I even know it, this is upsetting. "If they knew everything you did for me, they won't starting that petition in the first place!"

"But I ruined your debut, how can I still here shamelessly and manage you and act like nothing happened?" She still answered me with soft calm tone of her, like she predicted already that I will reacting this way.

"It was not your fault."

"Of course it was my fault. That rumour blow up because I dated him recklessly. It was absolutely my fault."

I sigh, I really don't want this to happen. She is the best manager I've ever known, ask every IZONE members they will say the same about her. She's my unnie, how can she just leave me like that? Screw my reputation and career and whatever, this is unfair. For her, for me, for this agency too. Why Sajangnim didn't hold her? Why he didn't persuade her to stay?

"Remember what I told you back then? To make this work successfully, it all depends on how you work hard, how I work hard, and how the company work hard."

I look at her half-heartedly I'm still upset, okay? And now she's trying to make me believing in her words again, just like how she did it in our first meet. She's the best at this, really.

"I was wrong, Yena. There's one party left, the fans. Your fans. We can't help but lean on them, too. Without them, all of our hard works are actually nothing. So this is the best way."

"You just gonna grant their favor just like that? They want you to leave the company and you gonna accept it just like that? Without even considering my thoughts and feelings?" Now I said softly too, I don't know, maybe this will work better to persuade her.

"It will pass."

"Right, it will pass. It surely will pass, this will be forgotten."

"I have no confidence left to manage you, I'm sorry. You'll find other manager who is surely better than me, who will taking care of you better than me, manage your schedule and promote you better than me. Sajangnim will find that one for you, don't worry."

I scoff, "I never knew that you're actually this coward, unnie."

"I am... I'm a coward and worry-much kind of person. I have too many fears in me, I just lucky I successfully covered that up in front of you all this time, but this time... I can't take it anymore. I'm sorry."

We're looking at each other, I know she's lying, she just making that up. But my heart got soft hearing that, because I know deep down inside, all humans are just like that. We're all just a coward with full of fears and insecurities, but trying so hard to cover that weaknesses with positive thoughts and a fragile mask. Just with a little hit then it break, the mask and every positive thoughts we plant everyday within ourselves.

I guess that's what happen with her right now. Maybe this is indeed too much she can take. Maybe she needs rest from everything. Maybe this environment is too insane for her to keep up with.

But I'm sad, okay.

Her relationship with Jae sunbae ended and now she lost her job, why everything is cruel to her like that at the same time? And why it affecting myself this much? Like I'm the one who went trough it, like I'm the one who experienced it.

It really bring down my mood.

"What will you do then? I mean..."

"I'll find something I can do, don't worry. You can still call me anytime you miss me or... anytime you feel like you need someone to talk to... I won't change my number."

I get silence. I don't know what else I should say to hold her here. Maybe this is indeed for the best? Maybe this is God's way to give a second chance for me, to take another attempt in this industry.

"Fighting, Yena. You still have a long way to go, and I'm sorry that I slowed you down reaching your destination. I wish only good thing happen for you from now on, accomplish your goals one at time, don't get tired yet. Just call me if you need me to... I don't know, listen to your thoughts?"

I smile too just because she's smiling to me.

"I'm sorry, once again. This is never my intention."

"No, unnie. I really had fun doing this with you, really. It's just unfortunate, that's all. We both worked hard, but this thing just can't be helped, so..."

She smile again, a proud kind of smile, "You get mature so fast day by day."

"All thanks to you." I probably pouting my lips right now.

She then sighing while still smiling, "We met in good term, building friendship in good term, and now we end it in good term too. It feels good."

"You said I can still call you anytime I want."

"Of course." She laugh.

"This is not the end, then."

She laugh still, "Alright come here, let me hug you before I go."

I come to her and hug her tightly, her familiar scent come to my nose, "Live your life well, unnie. Just think of yourself first this time, really. Treat yoursef better, really."

But she just laughing at it.

  
-

"He met an old friend, a long lost friend that he treasure so much, and it moved something in his heart that he tried to learn about it further. The feeling of the past were good and beautiful that made him happy everyday, so he tried to built a relationship with her."

I take another shot of her drink, Suzy or whatever her real name is, while she still reading the official statement that just released this morning out loud. I don't know what drink it is, but it taste good. Bitter, just what I needed right now. Perfect.

"They went to several places in order to built that relationship, but it didn't work well like what they wanted to be, so they decided to stopped the attempt. They went on their separate ways right after DAY6's world tour finished, and not meet each other again ever since. She is not Choi Yena, she is Kim Yena, Choi Yena's manager. They met several times together with Choi Yena too, and because of that friendship, he gave her a gift as he congratulate her first music show winning. I hope this will clear up all misunderstandings that have been going around for the past weeks." She laugh then.

I take another shot.

And literally not think of anything right now.

I don't even know why she called me and arranged this meeting. She got what she want, well the fans got what they want, so why still bother me like this?

Oh well, I thank her though because she brought me here, an exclusive bar or whatever rich people called it, and provide me this drink.

"This is ridiculously funny. A big lies indeed, wow. Really, this is actually how things work in this industry, I am blown away."

I blink and sighing, practically don't want to respon anything from her.

"Everything is lie except your identity and the gift he gave to Yena." She's still scrolling down comment section to get a better knowledge about fans' reaction.

I take another shot. Let's just get drunk tonight, I'm free anyway tomorrow. No more waking up at dawn and beat Seoul's morning traffic. I am free.

"Well, those who don't know the issue from the beginning surely buy whatever the company sell..." She started to mumbling alone, "Let's check those who knows..."

Silence for awhile because she's busy reading. Now I staring blankly into space in front of me, trying to not feel anything. I just want to empty my mind, I don't want to think about anything at all, a little bit. I don't want to think of him, or Yena, or everything that happened this several months. I am tired.

"Just as expected, they are bunch of loyal fans. Look, they just politely believe the statement and encouraging other fans to forget about it and focus on the group's great musics and amazing stages."

She stop talking suddenly, I feel her gaze on me, probably taken aback by my absent-minded self.

"Wow, you drank this much already?" She touch the bottle of the drink then back to look at me. "I know losing a job is hard, that's why I took you here, I let you drink all of this as much as you want, just get drunk or anything, you're rightfully can."

Thank you so much, I said only in my mind.

"So the dating scandal is cleared, now you just need to be extra careful, really no public appearance together, this I beg you. I willingly provide a room at one of my hotel everytime you want to meet each other, just tell me. At least this much I can do for both of you, thank you for listening my advice. I wish you long lasting..."

I smirk.

But that smirk slowly turn to laugh, softly at first but then I laugh so hard, like I just saw and heard something so funny I might teary up from laughing.

I am drunk already.

"Wait, this is... are you...?"

I look at her, "What?"

"Are you break up with him?" She said very softly it sounds just like a whisper in this quiet place.

I gulping down, "Yes I broke up with him! Yes I broke up with him! So what now? I am heart broken and jobless, so what now?" I pouting my lips, put my head on the table facing her who just looking at me in disbelieve.

"But why? You don't have to do that."

I scoff and smirk, look who saying that now.

"He was so... in love." Now she looks sad.

Honestly, when she said she's not Jae's fan, I believe her right away, but now that I see her like that, maybe she is indeed Jae's fan, she just don't want to admit it, or not realize it yet.

"I just got my sanity back. This is what people wanted, this is the right thing, this is the best for all parties."

She staring at me for awhile before saying, "But not for you. Do you ever consider yourself as one of the 'parties' too?"

"This is the best for me too."

"In what aspect?"

I silence. Because I don't know the answer to that.

"I thought you just sad because you lost your job, but girl, you're devastated, don't you know that?"

"I'm done."

She sighing. "Look, I'm sorry. I never have intention to... make your life become like this..."

"It's not your fault. I shouldn't have date him in the first place. I should've reject him harder back then when he persuaded me. I shouldn't be waver just by one kiss and those positive narrations he kept saying to me. I should've stop it the moment I felt afraid, that night after I attended his concert, I should've stop it that time, I shouldn't get soft at his warm words again." I nearly sob.

I sobbing enough, lord please help me. Please, not again.

Now here comes a long and awkward silence. I close my eyes, not really interested at her expressions or reactions, whatever.

"We went too deep that in one moment it become so hard to stop." I mumbling then, still with eyes closed.

Now how can I live my day normally without his presence?

"I'm so tired." I said again.

I hear her sigh. "Yena, who's in the same age as me, just come to my office whenever you like. I'll find something you can do."

I open my eyes, see a name card right in front of my sight, my head still on the table by the way.

"I think I need a vacation first."

"Sure, just come after that, or whenever you ready."

I touch the name card and lift it up so that I can read it. Then I smirk, "You really has similar name with Suzy, Lee Sooji."

She tck, look tired of that fact. "But I'm prettier."

Now I scan her face, "Acknowledge. And you're really a chaebol, huh?"

"Just like what you thought." She shrugged her shoulders.

I grip the name card, "Thanks, though. You're an angel." Then I close my eyes again, starts to drifting away.

-


	20. Epilogue

_"First of all, congratulations for wrapping up a world tour once again!"_

_"Yeaaaah woooh!"_

_"And 10th anniversary concert too!"_

_"Yeaaaah!"_

_"No one thought a band could last this long in this country, but DAY6 made it, so congratulations!"_

_"We really grateful of that fact alone."_

_"We thank god everyday. We're not that group who got that big recognition from many people, but we have very reliable fans. They made us come this far, they made us come here safe and sound."_

I open the convenience store door, still with earphone on my ears, still listening to my favorite morning radio show. I go straight to snack area, looking at the almond snack Yena likes so much. There's a banner that written_ 'Eat this to ease your nervous just like Yena_!' along with her pictures holding one almond around her open smiling mouth.

I smile seeing that and take one, I should treat her a really nice meal soon.

_"And, another thing to be congratulate..."_

_"Yeaaaaah!!!! Congratulations, our leader Bob!"_

_"Yeah, he just become a dad!"_

_"Congratulations on your first child, Sungjin ssi! How is it? How's your feeling?"_

_"Woah, it can't be described with words, really."_

_"Hyung was crying when he held his baby for the first time."_

_"How could I not? But really, this is something everyone should experience it themselves to be able to understand the feeling."_

I give my card to a young cashier who not give me smile a little bit, looking gloomy and sleepy in this monday morning. But then I give him my bright smile and saying thank you after he done processing my purchase. That's when he finally smiling at me.

_"But you still manage to had a tour in the middle of that, isn't that something amazing to brag? You're being a husband, now a dad, and still a band member, too. Isn't that hard?"_

_"I think it will start to get harder from now on, hahahahaha..."_

I smile hearing that, I heard other members laughing too, and it just brighten up my morning even more.

I step inside my office building, go to coffee shop and get in line right away to buy a cup of hot latte first.

_"What about other members? Well, we know Wonpil has a girl already, but what about the other?"_

_"We just not that lucky, I guess...?"_

_"Hahahahaha..."_

_"I guess we're still waiting for the right one, we are very open."_

_"What about Jae? Isn't there any girl you found attractive lately?"_

_"Oh, every girls here in this country are just attractive. Our fans are bunch of attractive people too."_

I smell a strong coffee scent in the middle of their laughing, very perfect to start the morning.

_"It's time to get there, don't you think? I heard the fans encouraged all of you already, to start dating or maybe, like Sungjin, get married."_

_"Right? It's the time, right? That's why I am very open right now, just like the others."_

_"I guess we just need a right person to come up."_

_"Right, because it's the time."_

"Excuse me, miss?"

I blink, "Oh... sorry, uhm... one hot latte, please."

"Less sugar?"

I smile and shake my hand a little, "No, just give me the original one." I said, give the cashier my card to process the payment, then shifed to wait on the pick up line after he done.

I listen to their music now, the recent released by DAY6, and they still have no bad song. Indeed.

I smiling alone. It's about time, indeed.

"You can come in 10 minutes."

Sooji's voice disappear just right after she said that, so I get ready. I check myself several times from my reflection on the window glass. Not satisfied with it, I take out a mirror from my purse to check my face, then I smile. Along with sighing.

Am I nervous?

10 minutes later I walk out of my office and walk to her room, smile paste on my face. Suddenly I feel nervous, yes, but most of all, I feel the excitement. I'm exciting, anticipating, and hoping a good result.

Dear lord, please let this be good this time.

I take a deep breath one last time and knocking the door twice before open it and walk inside. All eyes on me, and there's a very short silence before Dowoon screaming, "Nuna?!"

My smile get wider, then bowing to them, "I'm a manager in charge for this project, my name is Kim Yena, I will help you through the entire project, nice to meet you all." I stare at them smiling, enjoying their surprise state. "Let's be a good team work for the next months."

All DAY6's members are stand up and clapping happily despite of their shocking, well, except Jae. Because he still freezing like that with his eyes glued on me. His face looks blank but surprised, he blinking a couple of times too, before he finally smirking then smiling to me.

They all bowing and greet me in unison then, asking for a good team work too for this project, this will be their first time to do some works with babies.

"Just tell the truth, you both know each other for a long time, right?" He asked both me and Sooji.

"Of course, we've been know each other for like... 5 years now?" She look at me to affirming her statement.

"Almost 6 years."

"I mean before that, you're friends, somehow long before that, right?"

"Of course not, we're in different level, I told you once." She answered annoyingly.

"Okay, they're literally know each other already." Young. K whisper, hoping only the members would heard that, but no. Everyone heard that.

"Well, we had something in the past, so..." Sooji shrug her shoulders, "Nice to meet you all, please get a long well. She's the best person we have for managing idol. There are no complaint so far from idols who had worked with her before, so I hope you'll get along well too as you already know each other. Let's do the best for this project, because this will be my last evaluation to really own this company rightfully, so please don't mess up." She glaring at me and Jae back and forth.

"What? Why? Why me?" Jae shrug his shoulders feel wrongly accused.

I smile to the other members to relax them, "It's just her personality, it's fine. She's a kind-hearted inside."

"Fortunately." Wonpil and Dowoon said softly in relieved almost simultaneously.

"I gave my number to your manager already, so just call me if you need anything regarding this project. We'll start tomorrow with some babies and toddlers, it will fit Sungjin so much..." I smile to him and he repay my smile with a blushing smile of his, "...then continue with older childs after that, one at a time. I gave the full shooting schedule to your manager too, so I hope you can keep up the good work with the shooting and enjoy every minutes of it." I smile again, happily.

Imagining they all will playing and interacting with children is already got me exciting. Just like any idols did before them, but it feels more exciting because I kind of acquintance with them already, so I really anticipating this.

Especially for Jae.

"Your number still the same?" Jae asked suddenly.

I smile to him, "If you want to discuss something about the project, please ask your manager my number." I blink and staring at him deep, "If there's any... personal matter you want to discuss with me..." my voice got softer and the volume got lower, I feel embarassed suddenly, "...my number is still the same."

"That's it, only discuss work at working hour. Find another time for personal matter."

I smile to Sooji, "I introduced myself, do you still want me here, or...?"

"It's enough for now, I'll explain everything else myself, thank you. Prepare everything for tomorrow's shooting, you need to be there all the time and make sure this project going to the way we wanted."

"Yes, Sajangnim." I bowing to her before smiling to everyone for the last time, bowing to them too, then leaving this place.

But then here he is, two hours later, standing calmly in front of my door office. Still surprise but more composed.

"What is this? You have a nice office."

"Yes..." I smile and he stop his walking like he taken aback by that, "She saved me... back then when I was... crumbled..." My voice getting quieter the more I say it, because it feels like I'm accepting how crumbled and wrecked and devastated I am back then whenever I said that out loud.

Sometimes I hate that.

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't be, it's all in the past."

Silence comes then while we're awkwardly standing watching each other. Only a few steps away. My distance with him now only a few steps away.

"You said you'll be the one who run to me when the right time comes..."

"Is it the time?"

"It's the time."

I walk to him then, very steady, still with our gaze lock to each other, until I stand right in front of him. I open both of my hand and reach him, walking closer until I hug him. He put his head right away on my shoulder and circle his hands on my waist, hug me the same.

"Awkward, isn't it?"

"But familiar at the same time..." He mumbled. "I miss you."

"I miss you more."

"You can see me on TV and concerts and on those online platforms, while I can't. I miss you more, period."

"Is that so?" I touch the back of his head and caress it.

"You said you'll be the one who come to me, but look I came to your office instead."

"Who do you think the one who kept knocking at your agency's door to do this project?"

He lift up his head from my shoulder to look at me, "Is that you?"

"Of course."

"Why don't you just... I don't know, come to me directly or anything or..." He stop his complaint when I just staring at him intensely.

"Is that matter now?"

"No, not at all." He said very softly.

"So are you gonna kiss me or what?"

He smile, "You never ask that you know, in the past..."

"Well I kind of in hurry, I miss you too much."

He touch my cheek and closer his head while I tip toe my feet. We kiss. Reminiscing all of our kisses in the past, slowly. Thoroughly and passionately.

"So where to go first?" He said on my lips, "Cinema? Club? Han river? Park? Cafe?" He kiss me again.

I'm smiling then pull off, "Can we just come straight to Dispatch's office and pay them to write an article about us?"

He smiling too, "Should we provide them photos? For not confuse them with the other Yena?" He give me a quick smooch.

I laugh then confess, "I think I just learned something right now."

"What?"

"That everyone and every stories has a happy ending by default. It's just a matter of time."

"And this is the time for us."

I nodded my head happily. "It's the right time for us."

"Well done, Yena. You're very positive right now."

"All thanks to you." I kiss him this time.

"But actually, there's no ending until we all die, the stories begin again and again."

I look at him taken aback, "As expected from Park Jaehyung." I smile wide, happily.

"I learned that after that night you dumped me. Now our story just begin again. Remember what you promised me that night? Now I demand all of that from you."

"Well I am so much ready to keep that promises. Be prepared, Jae." 

-

-THE END-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, thoughts?  
And kudos if you like it :)  
Once again, thank you for reading until the end, hope you enjoy reading it >.<


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